ok, well, i was gonna write this hours ago

but
now i feel pretty good
hopefully you are feeling good too

i want to tell you how certain things you did
meant a lot to me
whether you really understood
what they would mean to me or not

sometimes
sometimes it's hard to know
what's random
and what's planned
what's just meant to be a funny thing
and
what's meant to have deep meaning

i want everything to have deep meaning
well, that's probably not really true
probably that wouldn't be compatible with my desire for play and fun
but
sometimes i have to really fight off my desire
to believe in the full spectrum of meaning available
when often it is the most glancing

sometimes
sometimes contrariwise
i hope you don't mean everything you could mean
because that would include something i wouldn't want you to mean

good lord, but that's loquacious

excuse me
i need to order pizza
be right back

well, i'm not sure that was right back
because the pizza is here
my cat is having a problem


anyway
it isn't necessary that i make sense here
what i'm trying to say
is there are things i wanted to tell you
i'm deeply moved
about

some of them
you might not have expected to move me
but
i don't feel like i can be all specific
because of debbie heather

i love you
you know that
and
i worry sometimes too
you know that
but
i'm your girl
whichever way things shake out

you understand
you are woven, inextricably, into my
my everything

everything is connected
so even the things you might not know would touch my heart
you get credit for amazing sweetness

you are the magician, remember

and
i think
you think
i'm pretty great too
which
i really love