i might not go to work today, i'm struggling with it

one the one hand
I feel like I have to go
because I can
but
they will not let me leave early
and I'm not at all certain I can stand all day
I just basically slept two days
and I feel
super weak
and like I've been beaten
and I might have fever
probably not
but definitely hot, sweaty, clammy
I think I shouldn't go
but
I don't think I've taken off two days in a row for illness since 1997
and I've been sicker than this
but
I want to get well, ya know
and I think I've been getting this for
maybe weeks
I won't get well if I push
it's hard

why is the idea of calling work
and saying:
I'm sick
I'm not coming today
why is that so difficult