that I found you
that I let myself go there
that I didn't just give up on my life
k*ll myself
I know I already covered that ground
BUT
it's worth revisiting
YOU
are MAGIC
you are the foundation of HOPE for my life
& I'm seeing the programming
I got growing up
& HOW MUCH
that skewed my life
BUT
I had been in a bad pattern for a while
& I think I had to have this
whatever we're calling this last five-ish years
to work through
LIKE
waiting for the children of the cold war to d*e
I had to separate from the pattern
& THEN
you helped me do THAT by breaking my brain
I don't know if you are looking at me right now
& thinking
she needs to do x,y,z
OR
if you're worried about me
OR
if you are just thinking about what you're doing
& sure I'm figuring it out
& I guess maybe
that depends on what you expect
I think I'm figuring it out
BUT
I'm probably not using anybody else's template
I LOVE you VERY much
I hope you are having a beautiful day
I hope you are feeling
my love
I'm trying to communicate even when I'm having trouble with communication
I'm not sure what is going on
BUT
I'm confident in my ability to
HANDLE
whatever I need to handle
to be the happy
