I'm moving really really slow but I feel pretty good I feel like I got some kind of download in the night and that everything is good somehow
I almost wrote you another thing after I went to bed but I'm like if you start writing things in the bed you're never going to go to sleep so I didn't but I was having all kind of songs running through my head which I mean isn't super unusual but in addition to songs I've heard recently I had Roger Clements for some reason that I haven't quite pieced together yet
And I just wanted to tell you
In case you didn't know
I think about you all the time
Even if I'm not writing you anything
Even if I'm not saying anything at all
And I've been thinking about it a lot but I haven't quite known how to say this and it's probably not really important that I say it
But
When I said that thing about weighing your thighs it wasn't about the weight of your thighs it wasn't like oh his thighs need to be thin it was about your thighs
But not from the standpoint of is he too heavy or too light from the standpoint of
Like you might look at a girl's breast s and you would be maybe thinking about what they'd feel like to touch or you know doing that thing that guys sometimes do where they're like taking their hands and cupping them and trying to kind of feel the heft of them or whatever like that that's not about oh your breasts are fat they should be thinner it's like acknowledgment of the fleshiness of something and acknowledgment of kind of a wanting to feel it but you can't feel it with your hands so you're feeling it with your eyes
Does that make sense I was not in any way meaning that you know if you gained a certain amount of weight you were going to be unattractive
Although since my experience of you is thin and thinner I do take notice of kind of where you are falling on your personal spectrum
And my historic enjoyment of you is within a range of thin to my mind
So that's what's attractive you know
If you had started off chunky then maybe I would be fetishizing your chunky you know what I'm saying
I'm probably going to need to say any of that but it's been really bothering me that you might think that I'm wondering how thin you are or how fat you are or worrying that you've you know gotten heavier during the pandemic or something that's not going on
Now concomitantly I know I've gained weight or something I've changed shape I'm different somehow
And I'm not real happy about that
Sitting on my ass seems to have made it a little smaller and a little softer so in general I think I'm happy with my ass although I haven't exammed it in any close proximity to the mirror so I don't know about cellulite and stuff like that
I know that none of my pants fit me tighter in fact they seem like they might fit me looser
But I'm quite certain that I have not lost weight
So I can only suspect that I have lost some muscle which makes sense cuz I was doing a lot of walking and I have not been doing any walking so generally speaking I don't think losing muscle is a good idea
And I feel certain that my stomach is a little bigger than it was
Also my face looks a little bigger to me
And from those markers I would say I've gained weight
But none of my clothes feel significantly different
Everything still fits
But I don't wear my clothes tight I wear them loose and everything was super loose before the pandemic because I had lost weight I have certainly gained back that weight
but on Friday my mother very kindly said that if I didn't have a scale she would be happy to buy me one so I feel confident that she thinks I've gained weight
Anyway those are just morning thoughts it's all running super late today I would normally be there but I overslept and I think she's running late too
But I'm not too upset about it cuz I did some work yesterday and I feel like we're really close to pit in the brand thing down
Oh and that poster or image with the dumpster fire is amazing I love it so much
Did MK do that for you
I mean I'm not saying you couldn't have done it but it looks more like his style
Anyway I hope you have a good day sweetheart
