good night sweetheart, but first, blather blather on

i had breakfast with my mom
and she wants me to take a class with her
i had planned on having to do something like that
and was trying to figure out something "good for her"

but she
preemptively
wants to do some sort of
speaking tour prep thing
which i always thought i'd be good at
if i only had something relevant to offer
neither does she, though
but she thinks she can lecture on creativity, i think
and
although i've never thought she was very creative
i think
i might have high criteria in that regard

i read something
about your scientific method
and
i gotta say
pretty smooth stuff

but you have totally ruined me for the normals

also
i watched a documentary on buddhism (sort of, more like on temples, but whatev)
and
i'm wondering how you feel about vajra as a middle name

ari'el vajra

i'm not married to it, but i like what it means
and i think the hebrew is like barak or barakim or something
plus
i like that vajra has ties to both tantra and tibetan buddhism
plus
lightning bolt and diamond

but
maybe a mixed metaphor
and not a baseball reference
and i had thought, maybe, yehuda

i mean
i know it's not something i need to be worried about

i just don't believe in this four name thing that's so popular
and
names are power
but
vajra kinda violates my other rule
about not saddling them with sunset or whatnot
or they end up bad

and
it oughta be like  ari el rey or something cool
hey, el rayo

although, maybe that's more of a nickname
ari / el rey / el fuego / el espada / el zarza

i don't know why the spanish is cool
but the sanskrit is not
maybe it's not manly enough sounding to my western ears

maybe that's a daughter middle name, but i had the k name all set for that eventuality
cause then the nickname was dax
which is nerdy isn't it
but it sounds good, and by then no one will know


i miss you