not exactly
DILEMMA
BUT
OK
I don't seem to be able to have any interaction
with Jason that is not
in some way
UPSETTING
AND
then TODAY
he learns how to use email
which he has never
used to
COMMUNICATE with me
in fact
FAIR or not
I don't FEEL like he's EVER really
TRIED to communicate with me
BUT
NOW
he needs money
& he wants me to buy his paintings
(which I'm pretty sure I can't afford)
or HELP him sell them
(to all my friends?)
OR
he can sell any
"Valuable Rare Signed books
for me that I may have for a small commission"
He has NEVER asked me anything about my
financial situation
or job
or how I get by in the world
& I think he assumes
for what reason
I am uncertain
that I have
RESOURCES
I am
KINDA
offended
that he has never had any interest in
KNOWING if I'm doing OK
or HOW I might be getting by
I'm pretty sure
every time he's talked to me in person
over the last eighteen years
that I have been
unemployed
I don't want to be all like
Jason I have nothing of value
& I'm currently going through boxes of crap
to make myself throw away the worthless
sh*t I have
I can't afford your paintings
& they make me
UNCOMFORTABLE
could you have tried to
understand me
or tried to
RELATE to ME
instead of
JUST
contacting me when you
WANT something FROM me
I don't want to
CONTACT him
I feel sort of bad about that
BUT
I feel like I'll feel
WORSE
if I do
he said he has dad's
POVERTY disease
OR something
& I'm like
I'm not sure what you're talking about
BUT
YEAH
