ORIGINALLY
was to go to 30A
BUT
there were some
COMPLICATIONS
& NOW
I'm not sure what is going on
I want to see you
I'm NOT NOT going
BUT
there are a lot of
VARIABLES
money & distance & cold
& this is all
STILL
difficult for me
SO
I can't tell you
WHAT I'm doing and I feel
PRESSURE
& GUILT
ABOUT not being able to tell you
&
ABOUT MAYBE NOT being
the support
you want
AND
I feel like
I was a downer at all the shows
I've been to since
portland
SO
just know
I LOVE you
I WANT to see you
BUT
I don't want to freak myself out
and do this
MANIC
FRIGHTENED
whip myself into a frenzy of
I MUST
I'm sorry if that
SOUNDS
sh*tty
I FEEL like
it MAYBE does
& I have a BUNCH of FEELS about it
BUT
I do not have myself sorted, yet
it MAYBE
sounds self serving
to say that I'd like to not feel
LIKE a basket case
ROLLin UP
on can't barely function
AND
I'm aware that life is
UNCERTAIN
at the best
of times
which t*ump-time is not
& none of that
makes any of it easier to make decisions
I CARE about
HOW you
FEEL
& honestly there are a bunch of shows
I WANT specifically to SEE
BUT
I don't have anything I can tell you
right now
I'm very sorry
it is possible that I won't be able to
or that it's a bad time for me
right now
I just don't know YET
I really hope you
UNDERSTAND
