there is more to the purse story.

i didn't want to tell you until it had all played out, but there was some drama.

i see the purse.  it is a dooney & bourke dillen leather satchel in claret.  i hated dooney & bourke back in the 80s when they were a status bag.  i thought they were ugly and old lady.  i didn't like the large satchel bags at that time and when my mother showed up with a hideous green version one day a couple years past when they were it with all the preppy i just cringed.  and then they just went off my radar.

i have actually been looking for this bag for about twenty years.  i actually found one in the early 2000s that was very similar.  it was a crinkly patent leather in the same shade, but metallic, with dangly shit hanging off of it, and a short drop strap.  i hated it.  i'm pretty sure goodwill ended up with it.

i've had a lot of burgundy colored bags.  they are my go to since i got that really cheap one that i loved with all the pockets and zip compartments in the mercado, san antonio--  i found the homage bag to that purse for about $20 on ebay a few years ago.  i also have a burgundy henri bendel bag i got off poshmark.  i really need "claret" to mean the purple that it looks like on my monitor.

somewhere around seven or eight years ago i bought a little sakroots bag with birds on it from tjmaxx and decided that small bags were what she would wear.  my father kinda trained me up with that--  is that what she would do--  as a guide for cool, thinking of yourself in the third person as the projected image of yourself.  when the sakroots bag started looking too rough for me to want to wear it i replaced it with a coated cotton pink pouchette with happy yellow lemons which turned out to be dooney & bourke.  it was well made--  actually it was defective--  but still better made than most things.  the strap had been sewn on twisted a bit, which is i think why it was still available on clearance.  i still love that purse, and look at it almost every day, but, when i went to florida it was a long road trip and i decided i needed a particular thing, and that thing ended up replacing the lemon purse.

what i needed was a small wallet that i could wear bandolier style under my jacket.  i was taking more cash than i usually walked around with and i wanted it on my person, not in the big henri bendel satchel full of junk i was carrying around with me.  i didn't want to be going in and out of gas station rest stops screaming grab this big fucking purse i obviously have more money than sense.

that was dooney & bourke too.  elephant colored pebble leather short crossbody wallet, and i've never looked back.

but i can't put anything else into it.  a pen is a logistical battle.  my keys lack into the hooks that hold the strap on and dangle free--  they can't go in the purse.  my vaccination card was too big to fit without folding it.  a mirror, any makeup, anything, anything extra, is largely impossible.  it's wasn't planned to be an only purse, i just loved it so much that i couldn't change things out.  it still looks as good as it did the day i bought it.  no, actually, somehow it looks better.  so now.  i guess i'm a dooney girl.

this is much more wind up than i meant to give you to the whole dramatic story.  

i saw the bag.  the universe shifted. i typed in the bid.

opening bid $37.00

only i typed it wrong.

i swear i typed a decimal, but these keys are sticking on some sort of irritating random interval schedule and the decimal didn't type.  yes, i just typed and confirmed because i didn't catch it, my maximum bid for this pre-owned purple purse was $3,700.  fuck!.

i looked for a way to change it, and couldn't immediately find one.  then i calmed down a little.  i'm not saying i'll pay $3,700. (well, yes, technically i am), this purse has been up here for five days without one single bid.  now it has ten hours left do you really think there is going to be a run on this purse.  it's wednesday night and the purple purse posse is on the prowl?  really?!  

i had bid on it because i didn't think there was much danger of competition.  when something seems like it will be hotly contested, and i don't want to encourage any oh my god somebody else wants this driving up the price, what i do is bid in the last fifteen seconds.  i type in the most i am willing to pay and they don't have time to react.  if they were serious about it, like strategically, they will likely get it, because i'm not a high roller, but if they were just fucking around then it's mine.

i calmed down.  maybe the universe wanted me to pay a little more, maybe countrycookin needs the money.  i planned to be asleep at 8am when the auction ended and $37. might not win a pristine condition discontinued color popular style dooney--  maybe the universe wanted to make sure i got it.

i did othr things.  i went to the bathroom.  i checked my phone.  i had alerts--  you're winning now, but watch out for the cometition!  the price was  up to $81.

now, $81. is about six dollars more than i would have been likely to bid for this purse, like ever.  it's been less than an hour.  apparently the purple purse posse is on the prowl!

i start googling how to retract a bid.  i start trying to retract my bid.  it's within the first hour, so i can.  click!  and the little wheel spins and spins and doesn't go through.  i check in another window.  it's still me.  i go back.  i refresh the page.  you can't retrack your bid within twelve hours of listing closing, if you still have a problem contact the seller.  what would i say to the seller.  hey there, excuse me, i'm a dumb ass, i do want to bid on your purse, and i am willing to accept a certain amount of liability for clicking confirm without actually, ya know, confirming.  can we reset it to say $150. so i'm only punished a little?  i do not love your purse $3,700. worth.  bt-dubs hope i didn't disturb your sleeping.

no.  not doing that.  how much will the market bear for this pebble leather not trending bag?  just calm the fuck down.  the universe knew you wouldn't shell out, and this is clearly the bag, so it made sure you couldn't not win it.  it's not going to go over $115. and that's only because it's an unusual and discontinued color.  go to bed.

so i watched a few more  youtube videos, i wrote you that other stuff, and i went to bed.

if you could have it not go up any more that would be great.

bed.

i set my alarm for 7:30, then 7;45, then 7:55.  all of those times it still said you're winning, $81.

then i set it for 10:30.  you won, pay now, $81.

the wednesday nite purple purse posse had been, apparently, a party of two.