I guess
when it came down to it
my fantasy wasn't really to write
my fantasy was romantic you & me stuff
and
I understand
maybe
that's not real
it's just this
and
I said I wanted to write
but maybe I didn't really want to
I wanted to mourn
you and me and the puppyfish in the house by the sea and all the stuff
I'm never gonna have
and pain pain pain

maybe
I just wanted to get you off my back
and
I seem to have grievances
and
I don't know what you really want from me
and
it all just spirals off
again and again

and
I really have to write something
but
I don't seem to want to write the trumplandia story

so
starting tomorrow
SOMETHING
but
I can't guarantee
sweetness

I can't get happy enough for sweetness

the only stuff that's anything
is kinda surreal
so maybe
maybe I am crazy, after all

I love you very much

goodnight