when i went to bed last night

I got into bed
I called your name
a bunch of times
then I started that counting meditation thing
I've done since I was a kid
and
I mean
maybe I got to 3
and then my body was doing this twisting
cork screwing thing
that kind of threw me around
and then
you were completely inside me
not like
just your snake-y bits
I mean
you
were
occupying the same bodily space
as me
but
inside me
and
then
I thought
yeah
and then
I was out
and
I don't remember anything
until I woke up at 5 ish because
I had to pee
and I felt like I was apologizing
and I tried to go back after
but I don't think I could