i fell asleep in the chair again

i'd like to write you
lots of stuff
romantic
esoteric
but

i'm not coherent enough
to write that now
so
i'm gonna write
one of the first stories that came to mind
that i coulda written earlier
but
i wanted all that fancy stuff, ya know

ok
i'm not sure if i've told you any of this
i used to go to movies with my aunt joan and my cousin sunrise
and one of the movies we saw
was gremlins
which is not a very scary movie
but
there is a section where the gremlins
they ate too late
or got wet
or whatever it was
and they were evil gremlins
and they were loose in the house
and the mother was walking around with a big knife
and you know
they are going to jump out
or attack
or something
that is going to make me scream
and my pulse is racing

and i turned to my aunt
and said
you know i don't do well with this sort of stuff
i'm going to go out in the lobby
until this part is over
this is too much for me

and that was the first PG-13 movie
they added a new special category
because it was too intense and they needed an advisory
that children might not be able to handle it
i mean, after the fact
just added it on

now gremlins came out in 1984
the year i graduated from high school
i was seventeen years old
and i hadn't been a virgin for almost a year
sunrise was twelve and a half
she was fine
and
of course
they thought
my "PG-13 incident"
was like the funniest shit ever