i'm just talking to you tonight

maybe you're already asleep
but i'm up
so i'll talk
you'll see it whenever, ya know

the immediacy has passed
i'm not sure what to do
i don't want to be
pushing you
or giving you advice
but
i feel a deep pull to nurture you
and i'm not sure how to achieve that

you are far away
and that makes everything

i can't think of a word

i want to
so many things

but
you have people there who love you
and this is usually hard
but
i just want to worry closer
rather than further away

i wish that you could tell me what you need from me
to be distracting
or tell you things
because
sometimes
i don't really know
if i were actually with you
i feel like i could read your clues or your energy


i don't know if i've ever told you
probably not
but that is one of my greatest fears
what happened to you
i've been mortally terribly afraid
and
now
i wonder if that had a significance
somehow
and
i've been playing it out in my head
and
i can't imagine how you didn't lose your mind
and i want so bad
for it not to have happened
even if it all comes out ok in the end
even if you learn some important lesson
like how much you're loved
i want to fly like superman and turn the world backward
make time go back
so it's just normal and boring

i want that so so bad

but
i'm not superman

i'm so proud of you
just for not losing your mind
nevermind the other stuff
i'm impressed with that

there's an adventure ahead
with challenges
and you can do that
you're the hero
and that kid is all the princess anybody needs
she adores you

i'm here
i'm not going anywhere
i love you