sizzling rain

i keep picturing this landscape
but
it keeps kinda shifting on me
it's this desert scene where the land is yellow and the sky is pink
i've been thinking about it for like a week
it's like a color negative
where the color is all wrong
but
compelling
there's this swirl of magenta
the idea is
it's a psychedelic landscape
but not
like a retro 70s vibe
something almost futuristic
and
what does that even mean
usually when i think futuristic it's something from my childhood
but now the future seems less future-y
but then i think
well
the desert
does that seem friendly
or inhospitable
because what i'm going for is a romantic landscape
like the first time i drove through the cajon pass and was like
wait wait super deja vu magic landscape
because i had seen it in so many westerns

so then
it shifts
and it is a jungle
and all ayahuasca-y
and the plants are breathing and the stars are burning out from the sky
but
then there are snakes and bugs and danger pulsing from everywhere
and what i want
is not dangerous
it's not a place of fear
what it is chiefly
is amazingly beautiful
in an alien magical way

and
i can't quite get it to land
because that is what i want to see
this landscape of psychedelic beauty
and then
us

idk why it has to be psychedelic
but
for some reason it does
with this element of surreality
and i alway think of the scene from natural born killers
with the word projection
and the indian
like
it's otherworldly
psychic or something
but not evil or bad or anything like the
violence of that creation
but
a feeling of the communication of that
without any of the context of the movie

is any of this making sense

i think desert
because the american west
has the beauty and the scale
and those arizona sunsets are almost psychedelic
just all on their own

gravity plays tricks
flying through the air
landing in the spot where you were already standing
time-lapse days
and eternity in an hour-- waiting
and then you're there
and we dance
hurtling through time
catching fire
and
our ideas
spin out from us--  scattering
forming glittering realized objects
which we dance around
pick them up
create things from these totems

and
you kiss me
and then it shifts again

we are in a record store in dallas
and i kiss you
and everything spins
like in the movies when the camera pans around
and i see myself
like out of body
but i know that everything is going to be ok

but then we burst into flame
become the burning bush
i am that am
or something like that
and then there is a scholarly discussion
is the burning bush the same
as the other representations of god
or does this represent a trickster element
another god passing himself off as god
and
where does that come from
something i read
or saw
or listened to
that intrigued me
like the arc of the covenant in the desert being an alien machine
which created the mana
and those guys who tried to go in
and just kind of melted
were obliterated by the alien technology
and god's breath kissing everyone past present and future
on the mountain top on shavout

these things run through my mind
exist in the desert landscape, somehow
contained within the kiss, somehow
all the cross-section of thoughts
woven invisibly
motes of glitter
holding their place in the stillness

and then
swirling up up up
from the thickness of the torpor
head bursting through the surface, gasping raggedly for air
as you enter me
moving slowly
then desperate, frantic
you have to save me
and the alien beetles join and click
and open
becoming the kaleidoscope
clicking in my brain
while i hear the thunder of the horses
and

all is fire