this is what i wrote this morning. i'm not editing it, just typing as is.

i'm one of those people.

i flip to the end of a book--  read the ending first.  i know.  but seriously, it doesn't interfere it gives me information i need.  over the 15 years i've been trying to write our story the ending came to me in a flash about 5 years in--  it's exactly the kind of ending i like in a book, it doesn't make any sense unless you've read the book but it gives tone and style.  so here's the book ending.





she stood on the platform smoking and looking out over the snow.  in the middle distance three ravens played and called to her, or themselves, or no one in particular.  she watched them.  she breathed in the frozen air.

i love you too ernest.





well, the actual words have changed a bunch of times, and that changes it for sure, but the image--  that's like set in stone--  that's the end of the book, for sure.  the beginning seems like it'd be easy, but, ya know, not so much really.  and the middle--  containing the structure and like what the story is actually about--  well, that's impossible.







[my commentary tonight]
i don't love this whole cloth, but i really really like the idea of starting with the ending and that that doesn't give anything away.  i also like the way i wrote the ending.  it's less descriptive than any other version i've ever written, but it seems to encapsulate more elements in a casual off-hand way than any other version i've ever written.  the bit after the ending, i'm not fond of, and i think maybe i had gotten interrupted.

also, at this point, that being the ending begs a lot of questions.  am i only doing the first 5 years?  am i being in any way chronological?  or am i jumping around in a stream of consciousness way?  which is what i have been leaning toward for a while.  but does it need a framework?  yes, yes it does.