darlin

i think
i'm probably not
going to call you darlin
i still feel strange from before
i'm folksy and all
pumpkin rolls off the tongue smoothly enough
but darlin feels like tryin-too-hard or ironical or such
no
it feels
slightly masculine
as it resonates through the space
and
i'm not comfortable with it
hon
has a concomitantly
situated energy

and baby
only works
sometimes

pumpkin is fine
but somewhat generic

beloved
i like beloved
but it seems, for many reasons, unwieldy
as a daily appellation

and
if you know me
you probably realize
you can expect a slew
of silly monikers
all of which
grew
organically
from
something
continually evolving
into
something else

you'd also know
how much brain power i use
on internal meta-dialog about
how
words i've already used
hang in the air
after the fact

i would guess
that's sort of a writer-y thing
or
maybe
a kind of perfectionist-y thing

whatever

and
boom

this has to be
[and i just realized as much]
a huge wind up for today's brilliant referent
so what is it, huh, what ya got lady
shut up you crusty little urchin of a chorus, i'm thinkin


i love you harp