i didn't tell you that to get a reaction

sometimes
people think
there's some reaction
they're supposed to have
and
maybe
for some people there is
but
not for me
i
just tell you my state of mind
on a regular basis
and
i'm tellin ya now

i feel like
i can't make any sense of it

and
when
i try to make sense of it
there are so many things i can come up with
for somewhat plausible explanations
but
they all kinda nauseate me

and
i know you can't talk
and

it's just such whiplash
to feel so close to you
so much like
it might really all come true
which i know is crazy
i'm not saying it is true
just that i felt it so intensely
then
to this

and
i don't want to lose you
but
i'm not sure i feel the same
my dreams
the cards
all say everything is the same
but
i feel a little cauterized