goodnight sweetheart

I want to ask you
a bunch of questions
but
I also don't want to ask you
I don't know what
to think
and
I want not to care
it doesn't matter
it doesn't matter
love is all you need
but
I only sometimes believe that
and then
the rest of the time
I think love is necessary
but maybe not the only thing I need
so
round and round I go
and
I have to go to sleep

I love you
and
that's no lie
but
I had this clear-headedness today
that felt like a sane episode
and
I found that
very unnerving

the imperfect produce box comes tomorrow
day 4 without coffee

if you could dream with me
that would be really good
I want you in my head

I love you sweetheart