I almost FELT 

LIKE 

I was standing NEXT to you 

SO

MANY 

HAPPY 

FEELS 

🫶🫶🫶

I'm sorry 

I should have talked 

BEFORE now 

I've just been in this 

LIKE 

DIFFUSE mind state 

is the best way I can describe it 

I was thinking about you 

you were in my mind

with me

while I was floating in the everything everywhere 

& the WORDS

aren't 

SO MUCH HOW 

your thinking 

there's this KINDA 

ALL the THINGS 

ARE TRUE

BUT 

WORDS

have to CHOOSE 

SO

anyway 

I'm SORRY 

I didn't KNOW I was

GONNA 

or I would have 

WARNED you 

it was GOOD though 

I LOVE you VERY much sweetheart 💋 

I think I'm gonna try to sleep 🫶

❤️👾🫚🍀☕🐦☁️❤️

ya know what though

THAT is 

SWEET

that little slice of life

the SANDWICH is

HYPERBOLE 

appreciable as ART in it's own right 

FIVE dollar TIPS--  poetry

❤️

BUT 

I THINK 

I'm NOT trying to be VEGAN

I am 

NOT really 

DOING 

a SYSTEM 

I'm BUILDING a 

SYSTEM 

AND

the PROTEIN thing

SEEMS to have 

PRODUCED

RESULTS*

*although my quick and dirty approach of throwing multiple variables into the mix never really give completely uncomplicated results

CHLORELLA 

for example, has PROTEIN, but also has

DETOXING 

& GROWTH HORMONE 

SO

if I feel like I've had 

SOME positive 

CHANGE

I couldn't REALLY say it was the protein, ya know 

I KINDA think

my personal interpretation 

PROTEIN is important 

BUT 

high ANIMAL based

is not how

I prefer 

to 

EAT

I ENJOY 

a meat FEAST

BUT 

not CONSTANTLY 

I've been leaning HARD into LENTILS 

but I GOTTA do SOMETHING else 

OR I'll go OFF em

TEMPEH 

REPRESENTS

SOMETHING to me

MAYBE 

it's that it

INTERSECTS 

MULTIPLE 

INTERESTS 

I WANT to 

LOVE 

this STUFF 

BUT 

HONESTLY 

I have a hard time getting past the look of it 

it's the kind of thing that happens 

SOMETIMES 

when you encounter something with no childhood

ANALOG 

I MEAN

if you can

EAT

cheese...

I LOVE cheese

SO I understand that you DON'T 

READ

the original 

FOOD STUFFS 

as spoiled

because 

THEY aren't--  they have transformed 

into ANOTHER 

SUBSTANCE

which you

JUST

RECOGNIZE if you GREW UP with it

BUT 

you can MAKE tempeh 

I THINK renewable

LIKE sourdough 

FOREVER

with a variety

of BEANS

& GRAINS

SO

THAT 

FITS into

EVEN more

I don't know if any of this makes any sense 

it's LIKE 

TEMPEH is where it's AT

YOU are

HOLDING the PARTY

HOSTAGE 

with your pig-headed refusal to get behind TEMPEH 

I MEAN 

that's what it was like 

when I saw it

in the

imperfect produce shopping

ACTUALLY 

it's NOT TRUE that I don't have any 

STRATEGY wins 

I reminded myself 

I SPECIFICALLY 

FOCUSED 

on the

PROBLEM 

FORMULATED a hypothesis 

& ACHIEVED

the 

GOAL

BUT 

THEN it was 

JUST you

TELLING yourself 

which

AM I to UNDERSTAND 

hasn't happened 

BEFORE 

HOW 

MANY 

times 

ALSO 

I'm starting to 

SLOW ROLL through the PERSPECTIVES 

AND

I was watching 

EZRA KLEIN 

who I'm SURE I've seen 

BUT 

SOMEHOW 

has never really been on my radar

& he was interviewing 

a journalist 

who has

COVERED 

el ON

for years

I was

SURPRISED 

how very little of the information 

was NEW but the picture 

filled IN

avian flu

put me right off 

EGGS

especially since 

we maybe 

aren't 

TRACKING that kind of sh*t anymore 

ALSO

I've been kinda slipping

on the protein

& had all that

WEIRD 

hormonal crap

BUT 

although I 

LOVE tofu

I've ALWAYS been

KINDA 

meh

about tempeh

BUT 

this is lightlife 

which makes my favorite 

VEGAN hotdog is I was

HOPEFUL 

I browned it in a pan

with MCT C-8

which is my new general all purpose oil

THEN 

I made a sauce

ACID LEAGUE pho broth

a dash of toasted sesame oil

a dash of HEB steak sauce

which is similar to A1

a nice thick dusting of

NUTRITIONAL yeast 

a dash of harissa

& enough boiling water

to get everything 

TOO WET

ADDED brown rice 

turned up heat

to reduce 

the volume of water

it was okay

not amazing 

I thought about adding

peanut butter 

to make it more of a sambal

BUT 

I thought the texture would be a problem 

MIGHT get some peanut butter

POWDER

& try THAT

MIGHT 

try to find some

INDONESIAN 

tempeh recipes

I'm in a little bit of a funk

RIGHT NOW 

BUT 

I did the big

CHORE

I've been fighting myself on

& I feel pretty good about that

ALTHOUGH 

I don't have any strategy wins

I just said

ENOUGH 

we're DOING THIS 

I hope you are having a beautiful day sweetheart 🫶🫶🫶

goodnight sweetheart 💋 

I LOVE you VERY 

MOON 🫶

👾🫚🍀☕🐦☁️

THAT 

was a FIESTY

MAILBAG

I didn't

KNOW it was

CALLED a 

ZIPPER MERGE 

BUT 

I thought 

EVERYONE knew

THAT 

   is

THE WAY

OK

I FEEL like 

I got a 

HANDLE 

on prop bets

they

CAN BE

any kind of thing at all

OTHER than 

the SCORE 

BUT 

they can 

ALSO be

VERY

data dense analysis 

of the relative

STRENGTH

WEAKNESS

& probabilities

of given things

THOSE 

TWO things 

should NOT have the same name 

I am slightly familiar 

with the concept 

of making

BETS

on KINDA random 

THINGS

BUT 

what MA was

DESCRIBING was

NOT 

THAT

what he was describing 

SOUNDED like

he was

USING 

ONE

BET

to PROP UP

the OTHER 

BUT 

I was pretty sure 

it was short for

SOMETHING 

proposition?

I have to look it up

he had

TALKED

about it before 

BUT 

I don't 

FOLLOW basketball 

& it wasn't 

IMMEDIATELY 

APPARENT

to me

HOW 

IMPORTANT 

this guy was

NOW 

I've got a clearer 

PICTURE 

BUT 

STILL not THAT 

CLEAR

but MORE AWARE 

the problem with that

I learn by making this interconnected thing-y

BASEBALL 

I have

ENOUGH information 

that I can put

loose pieces where they go

BASKETBALL 

I don't have 

ENOUGH 

SO 

sometimes the pieces

get lost

BUT 

they've built a sort of

PASSING of the

GUARD

narrative -- I'll probably remember LeBron in his CAR talking to his WIFE 

BUT 

in order to 

KNOW 

what he said

I need more information on LeBron 

I have NO IDEA what he thinks

I had to stop 

in the midst of that 

to tell you

I was listening to 

tim miller

who

I think I should NOT listen to 

he is pretty high anxiety 

& it's 

CATCHING 

BUT 

he MENTIONED doncic

on the politics 

SHOW

I don't remember what he said though

BUT 

I thought it was 

WEIRD 

BUT 

now I think I'm 

SEEing the

PATTERN

OK

GRANDPA

& his BIG BOX of STUFF 

chasing down

MELISSA 

is KINDA

adorable 

he could win me over yet

NO NO

HOLD UP

WHAT

was the

POINT

of

OFFENSE

he comes at it

KINDA

as though

HAHA

BUT 

it turned

SO

is it that she WASTED money

is it that he doesn't 

APPROVE

of buying things

for HOLIDAYS 

& with the

DOG

it's TOO MUCH 

I MEAN 

she got marketed

a cute thing

& she bought the dog a toy

the F*CKing

SALIENT question is 

DOES THIS ONE

MAKE NOISE

where is this

I'm UNCOMFORTABLE with GIVING 

the DOG

LOVE TRINKETS 

ENERGY 

coming from 

TONIGHT 

was an other one

I really 

WANTED 

to

SEE

I saw my mom today 

& I took in

a little 

TOO much news

SO

I'm gonna listen to 

TK

&

hope that

COOLS

me

down

my phone was out of battery 

& I've just been 

THINKING 

NOW 

my cat

wants to lay on me

& I might 

FALL ASLEEP 

I LOVE you VERY MOON 

I'll say now

just in case

👾🫚🍀

🫶☕🐦☁️

SEE

THERE it GOES 

AGAIN 

I KEEP 

FEELING you

TODAY

are you thinking about me

MORE than usual

OR

HARDER 

than usual

OR

is something else 

going on with me

that I'm 

mistaking 

for the

BODILY SENSATION 

that I associate with 

FEELING you 

THINKING 

about me

I LOVE you VERY much sweetheart 💋

I'm gonna try to sleep 🫶

👾🫚🍀☁️☕🐦🇨🇦🧲🧠

❤️❤️❤️

I didn't 

CONNECT 

in the

MAILBAG today

I didn't do

the stuff 

I was

GONNA

DO

I did

SOME 

of it

I have to figure out

URGENCY 

without stress

I don't want 

it 

to be

URGENCY 

I'm TRYING to REPLACE 

URGENCY 

I'm TRYING to 

FIND

SOMETHING 

that WORKS 

I just want

to self-sooth, maybe 

& only do what

HAS to be 

DONE

& I KINDA 

go back and forth

ABOUT 

whether I'm not ALLOWING myself

to REST

OR

I'm just making 

EXCUSES 

why am I not being 

PRODUCTIVE 

& I get

DISTRACTED 

AND

I SAW this THING

ABOUT 

INTER

generational

TRAUMA 

AND

I KINDA 

HATE

that

CONCEPT 

I ALSO 

HATE

the IDEA 

of BRINGING 

PAST

LIFE 

TRAUMA

come ON

it's 

TOO

MUCH

too HEAVY

I feel like

this

DRIFTed MORE than usual 

they WERE

STAPLES in my

LIFE 

I have replaced them with

NAPPING 

LOVINGLY 

WRAPPED 

in

FOIL

by

NIGEL

TOOTHPASTE CRISIS 

I am now using 

TWO toothpastes 

WELEDA SALT

& desert essence coconut

sometimes 

I use one

or the

other

and

sometimes 

I use both

at the

SAME

TIME

I'm gonna try to sleep 

goodnight sweetheart 💋

I LOVE you VERY much 🫶

👾🫚🍀☁️☕🐦🇨🇦🧲🧠

❤️

AND

I'm not sure 

that didn't SOUND 

SOME KIND 

of WAY

he said the thing

at the end

NOT 

right after

AND

I sound 

WOUNDED

& THAT

WAS NOT 

what I was going for

I didn't 

MEAN 

oh MI of MY

mmmmMYpppotential

NOR

did I MEAN 

oh if ONLY blah blah blah

I'm NOT depressed 

I was trying to 

EXPLAIN 

I NEED

to figure out

ME

&

I

WANT

to FOCUS

on LIKE what am I gonna DO

HOW am I going to 

MAKE money

BUT 

I've GOT to 

GET the

SYSTEMS sorted

& I'm having trouble & I don't want to 

it's SO MUCH easier 

to SPIN in 

CIRCLES that you KNOW 

BUT 

he missed it 

OR

I didn't make myself clear 

& he was telling me to 

MAKE a

VISION board

BUT 

I think what happened 

(stay with me)

he said 

they wanted to have the

CEREMONY today 

we're having it

in a few weeks

at a time 

that makes it easier for family to travel

I said

that's good 

gives you a chance

to process

before 

you CELEBRATE her life

AND

HE LIT UP

& said

THANK YOU 

in a tone LIKE 

FINALLY 

SOMEONE gets it

& I suspect 

THAT is what

inspired

HIS 

YOU ARE SO*

*I forget the actual word he used because I read it as I have just become acutely aware of your wasted potential

anyway 

it was

WEIRD 

I LOVE you 

I'm not gonna lie

I'm 

a little bit 

FREAKED out 

I've been holding it

PRETTY 

CONVINCINGLY 

at bay 

&

I'm still 

LIKE 

OK

I did

talk about my stuff 

BUT 

I must have

SAID something 

WRONG 

because 

I'm not happy with where I ended up

I got to therapy 

BEFORE 

my therapist 

as it turns out

BUT 

I just thought there was a problem with the door 

I texted him

because I didn't want 

to just be standing in the hallway 

& have him be sitting in his office 

wondering where I was

BUT 

then he got off the

ELEVATOR 

he SEEMED off

SOMEHOW 

& then

when he went to unlock the door 

he kept 

MISSING 

the keyhole*

*although it was silver, round, and raised out from the door

he tried four times 

just scratching the door three quarters of an inch over to the right of the keyhole 

I'm LIKE*

*after we were in his office 

are you okay 

I don't even mean

EMOTIONALLY 

you seem 

OUT of SYNC

I'm on VALIUM 

your doctor told you you were safe to drive

well I DROVE 

he was pretty 

WRECKED

he repeated all his information lines

three times

while he was telling me about 

his mom & stuff

he's NOT okay 

I'm LIKE 

HEY 

you don't KNOW Elon, do you

because 

he seems to know a lot of people 

that seemed to confuse him

no no, I know you know who he is

I MEAN 

do you know him personally 

BECAUSE 

if you do

you need to tell him to 

REIN it the f*CK IN

NO no he's TOO RICH for me to know

it was

WEIRD 

the therapy today 

I LOVE you VERY much 

goodnight 

MOON 

💋🫶👾🫚🍀☁️☕🐦🇨🇦🧲🧠❤️❤️❤️

we've been getting 

FOG

in the weather 

quite a bit

LATELY 

I wasn't sure 

WHAT

the wavy lines meant

at first

WHEN 

I drove out to

BAYBROOK for

the opening 

SHIFT

I drove, ALWAYS, through

FOG

but I don't believe 

it's COMMON 

in town

PUT

the MICE

in GIBBETS 

that's it

THAT

is the

QUOTE 

AWW

LITTLES ACTION 

out in the

WILD

DB

THAT

QUALITY 

they are a FINE company 

WE are 

PROUD

to be affiliated with them

I GET that

I was

SO

PROUD

of HEB

and it's a

CONCEPT 

I am

PARTICULARLY INTERESTED in 

the

NUANCES of

the

mailbag

is often a surprising

SOURCE of 

I'm not sure of the 

WORD*

*inspiration for analysis of tangential elements as touch points of reality between groups or generations-- jumping off points**

**I think this description is more limiting than I mean it to be

DON MacLean 

has personal meaning 

for me

it is

KINDA

special 

when

TK

HONORS

a song

that means something to you 

he's done that 

several times 

just since 

I've been listening again

I don't really 

UNDERSTAND 

PROP bets

OH

& MOCHA 

USUALLY means

a chocolate coffee combination 

I THINK 

because 

MOKKA

was

a major trade port

that traded

BOTH

COFFEE

& CHOCOLATE 

BUT 

I can't remember the 

SOURCE

of that information 

SO

POSSIBLY 

I'm WRONG 

BUT 

I'm pretty confident 

I AM

however 

CERTAIN 

that TODAY 

MOCHA

USUALLY means 

BOTH 

chocolate and coffee

I'm NOT 

SURE 

WHY

I felt like I had to go all into it

I FEEL like 

it's WEIRD that he seems 

CONFUSED about it 

BUT 

WHY

do I CARE

my therapist confirmed 

for tomorrow 

& MAYBE 

that's 

PART of my problem 

having missed

TWO weeks 

idk

there was a protest

yesterday 

people were

LEAVING 

when my mom and I were leaving the studio 

it must have been

on MAIN Street 

over by

the sam houston statue, maybe 

that's one of the 

TRADITIONAL places

for protest

HERE

it's by RICE

& the MED CENTER 

& the museums

it was

DEPORTATION protest

MOST people 

WRAPPED in MEXICAN flags

or waving them

POLICE 

we're stopping traffic 

to let the protesters cross

AGAINST the 

LIGHTS

I have been 

a little 

OFF

today

BUT 

I tried to 

MAINTAIN 

BUT 

then I saw on the grapevine 

that maybe there was

TAPE

turned out

there wasn't 

BUT 

CROSSTOWN BUS

story

& that flash of green

FILLED me UP

I LOVE you VERY much sweetheart 💋 

YOU are so beautiful to me

inside & out 

🫶🫶🫶

👾🫚🍀☁️☕🐦🇨🇦

it is possible 

that I didn't make that painting 

BETTER

BUT 

either way 

it's not finished 

I'm in a WEIRD mood 

mildly irritated 

at a bunch

of little 

STUFF 

I think YOU are the

BEE'S knees

& that SOUNDS 

SILLY 

BUT 

it's not 

it's 

SWEET, maybe 

I LOVE you 

VERY very

MOON

this is maybe a little 

incoherent

BUT 

I'm FEELING 

a BUNCH of FEELS 

❤️

I decided 

PAINTING 

in studio 

is okay

SO

I'm working on this one 

it's been an hour 

& there's only been

my mom's 

FRIEND 

YAY

for minimal 

CONTACT 

I hope you are having a beautiful day sweetheart 💋🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦❤️

here's the grid wall

Last Wall Finished 

I was watching this

REEL

that ASKED 

when you were a kid

WHAT

was the sign

you used 

for whether 

someone was

RICH

&

I KNEW 

IMMEDIATELY 

if

you had one of those

TWO door

REFRIGERATORS

that dispensed

ICE and WATER 

then

RICH

THAT

is not a high threshold 

I'm thinking 

NOW 

BUT 

THAT

was my threshold 

😁

I need to get to bed

I LOVE you 

VERY 

MOON💋

👾🫚🍀☁️☕🐦

🇨🇦❤️

I just watched a thing

ABOUT Stephen King's writing technique 

& I've probably seen 

SOMETHING 

about that before 

BUT 

I haven't heard 

the CAMPFIRE 🔥 

before 

I've got

that

CAMPFIRE thing too

I haven't used it

EXACTLY 

LIKE that

BEFORE 

I thought it was 

INTERESTING 

I have 

BI-MODAL bias

ABOUT 

stephen king

S0

it DEPENDS how

it HITS

I remember reading 

the SHINING 

when I was like eleven 

&

getting myself 

SPOOKED

looking over my shoulder

&

I had read

INTERVIEW with the VAMPIRE 

& OTHER such

I wasn't looking over my shoulder 

WHAT was he

DOING

it was SOMETHING 

he was doing 

I have this BIAS that

he has some sort

of psychological GENIUS 

he burrows into

your

BRAIN, somehow 

BUT 

THEN 

when I was working at the

BOOKSTORE 

he put out this graphic novel

CYCLE of the WEREWOLF

& I read it

& it was like

I used to watch

the horror movies

on television when I was a kid

all the old black and white ones, ya know

&

it I sat down

& SUMMARIZED the jist

of watching 

ALL THAT

NOTHING new, or interesting, nothing no twist

THAT

was cycle of the werewolf 

& I'm LIKE 

HACK

SO

it intrigues me

when I find

points

of identification with him

I'm trying to figure out 

WHY

the best I can do

is to say

he's 

INTERNALLY 

CONTROVERSIAL 

there's this

probably unimportant 

THING

NORMALLY 

I am the one telling my mom

we should try to get there

EARLY 

BUT 

this time

the open studio 

starts at one

TOMORROW 

& I've got

everything ready already

EXCEPT 

I want to hang two more pictures 

BUT 

they are 12"x12" and I needed to 

ORDER the frames 

which have come

BUT 

the nails are in already 

I don't need to be there early 

&

I'm really not looking forward to the 

HUMAN interaction 

SHE'S LIKE 

I'll pick you up at eleven

do you have

SOMETHING in mind

for the extra time 

& she was really 

WEIRD about it 

she did all this

OBFUSCATION 

& REDIRECTION

BUT 

I've no idea 

WHY

I slept 

LATE 

I think I dreamed about 

SNOW ❄️ 

I am 

MAYBE 

a little dissociated

I'm not sure what I did today 

I did binge watch a bunch of

all creatures great & small

a NEWER version 

I GUESS 

I'm having a harder time 

FLOATING above

BC--MAINER 

talked about the battle hymn of the republic 

& you might not believe this 

BUT 

my dad used to sing THAT any time there was the slightest provocation to do so

he would work it in

I don't know 

WHY

LIKE 

I MEAN 

with some stuff 

I would like 

FINALLY 

SEE

REBEL WITHOUT a CAUSE 

& suddenly 

SOMETHING 

that never really made sense 

it's ALL I EVER do

BUT 

I never found the

REFERENCE point 

for

battle hymn of the republic 

SO

it just 

HIT

WEIRD 

is it

do you think

SOME kind of 

SISYPHUSness

the continual NEED

to analyze 

to try to make some kind of SENSE 

TODAY 

I didn't try to make sense of 

ANYTHING 

I just rested

I'm sorry I didn't talk much 

I LOVE you VERY much sweetheart 💋

👾🫚🍀☁️☕🐦