this is a different color

I'm going to tell you something then I don't think I've ever told anybody before

And I hear people all the time say things like

Oh if everybody just knew this or that about me

They would hate me

Or they would realize how worthless I am

Or stuff like that

And I don't really get that

I don't feel that way about myself at all

In fact I didn't really have secrets

I mean I guess I had secrets

But kind of not

I mean there were things that I didn't tell most people but usually there were at least one or two people that I would tell those things to

And most stuff about myself if you asked I would just tell you because I wasn't keeping any of it a secret I wasn't ashamed of any of it

But this I don't think I ever told anybody

When I first got out of high school I was very very disdainful of what at that point we called yuppies

Nobody says you yuppie anymore

I'm not sure

If when people say Boomer

That is the same thing

I don't really think it is

But you're old enough to know what I mean when I say yuppies

You're old enough to have heard the phrase die yuppie scum right

So I was very much about that

And it was very disdainful of Richie Rich things

And my bad attitude about richness and money are probably part of the reason why I've never been too financially successful

And I've never been highly motivated by money

But even though

I was all not about Richie Rich stuff

When I graduated from high school and I was working at the bookstop

And it was a pretty affluent area generally

And there were a lot of yuppies

Weren't necessarily technically rich

But there were a lot of Mercedes

Cuz of course that was like 84

And everybody was trying to live beyond their means and so the yuppies were too

Or maybe they could afford them I don't know

But there were a lot of mercedes's

And I was very disdainful of them as well

Because it was all part of that milleu

But secretly

Oh so secretly that I'm only just now telling you

I think unless I told you this before

There was a Mercedes

That I wanted with like a burning passion

I don't know what it was called

It was convertible

And it was like super flat

Like a very thin profile

Not the bigger slightly curvier classic Mercedes

And the color specifically that I wanted

Because it was a specific car and a specific color and I found out what the color was called

Bittersweet

The color was bittersweet it was this amazing kind of orangey caramely cognac kind of color

And I think bittersweet is a plant as well so maybe it's the color of the plant I don't know I didn't know that either at the time I thought bittersweet was just you know like bittersweet chocolate or bittersweet memories or whatever like that

But I wanted that car

I would never have bought that car if I had had well it doesn't make any sense to say I wouldn't have bought it if I had the money because the whole point was that I didn't have the money and if I had the money then I probably would have felt different about money

But it's possible that if somebody was going to give me that car I maybe wouldn't have even taken it because of the amount of disdain I had for that whole kind of culture

Greed is good you know whatever

So I never even admitted to anybody that I thought that car was beautiful and I wanted it bad

And what I ended up getting

Was the very furthest possible thing

One of those k cars

And it was a terrible car

Terrible f*** Lee iacocca

I ended up only having it for like 5 years

And the reason why I got rid of it will actually be traded it in it had already had to have the transmission rebuilt

And I had something else go wrong with it

I can't remember now what it was

But we had like

I say we I mean my mom and I

Had put like $800 or something into the repairs on that car and when we traded it in I think they only gave us like $600 for it

But the reason why we ended up trading it in is that even though it had a new transmission when I would be trying to merge on the freeway it wouldn't speed up and I was afraid every time that the engine was going to seize up or something because it I could feel it behaved really squirrely

And my joke was that the engine was basically a hamster on a hamster wheel anyway but I mean it was terrible terrible car and I hated it

I wanted

Well I wanted the Mercedes

But if it was going to be a Plymouth

I was like please please please can I get a Grand Fury

Which was you know a big steel car I think they were still steal at that point

V8 engine

And it was the car that was at that point pretty commonly used as a cop car across the country so I mean semi indestructible

But those were like 8,000

Instead of like 5,000

So no

And you know

You might say well at least you were getting a new car but I would have been perfectly happy with a used car I would have been more happy with a Volkswagen thing or a karmagia

Or even a beetle

But my mother was bound and determined that I had to have a new car because anything other than new car was not safe and might break down when I was out driving around at night

And I couldn't be in an unsafe situation because I would be

"Hacked to death and thrown in a gutter"

That was like standard thing that was going to happen to me when I was younger

Before I started driving around and going places

For some reason then I wasn't going to be hacked to death and thrown in a gutter

When I was a kid

I was going to be

"Kidnapped and sold into white slavery"

Very dramatic my mother

Anyway it wasn't supposed to be about my mother or my first car experience

It was only supposed to be a confessional about the car that I wanted and was too much of a what would you call that reverse snob

Or is it still snob

Just not a Richie Rich snob