i slept in
i didn't do anything productive
well, i mean, i masked
but
i'm not sure that really counts
the weather's really nice here
i had the door open most of the day
i just now closed it, in fact, because
i got an email that said neighborhood crime alert:  lock your doors

oh well
*sigh*
it is dark now after all

the neighbor husband/father
[idk his name]
had a visitor
they sat on the stoop all late afternoon speaking serbian [i think]

i ordered door dash--  pizza
and i said the next time i did that i was getting the cauliflower crust
it was ok
not great
and
i think it's just really scorched cheese or something
i could not detect cauliflower
it was more like no crust pizza
and the crust is the best part

i know i once said chicago pizza was best
but
that's not really true
it's too dense

new york is maybe too thin
but idk, really
i don't think i had it in new york
what i like is a slightly thick-ish hand tossed pizza

i have a beer rep who keeps tellin me i've lost "so much" weight
i just figured he was blowing smoke up my ass
but
he just keeps saying it
so finally i'm like:  i really don't think i've lost any weight

and he's like:  you just don't see it yet
but it's clear in your face
i lost 60 pounds  before so i know what i'm talking about

now
i don't have a scale any more
i'm not sure what happened to it
oh, yeah, when the apt flooded a while back
it fucked it up
and i never got another one
so i'm not monitoring my weight

i did, however start getting fruits and vegetables for lunches
and i switched off the coffee
which i've been back on for october
but without the half and half
i'm seriously craving soy milk now
also chicken noodle soup
i've had chicken soup for dinner like at least 30% of the month
not canned--  like real soup
i realize that's meat
but not a lot of meat
and my body wants it

anyway
mu pajama bottoms fell down
and i was like wtf
because they are only like a yaer and a half old
you wouldn't expect the elastic to have given out yet
and i'm sure they were loose-ish to start
and, i mean, they went back up
it's really not that dramatic

but
then i was super curious

i have this top i bought a couple years ago
when i started buying things that weren't black
and it didn't fit
i mean, it went on, kinda
but it bunched up
it didn't go smoothly over my hips
so it looked like shit and i couldn't wear it
but
i didn't send it back
i really liked it and i said:  i'll lose weight
well now it fits loosely enough over my hips to actually look like it fits

also i had some underwear that i bought at tj maxx
but the sizing was different than what i'm used to--  i've been buying it by pants size for years
but some women's underwear is listed by this sort of secret code
that doesn't match anything else it's like 4,5,6,7,8,9,10
and i knew i didn't wear 10
but i wasn't sure if i was 8 or 9
and i'm not sure which one i bought
but
i could not wear it

now
i can
and it's ok comfortable for standing or walking
but it's pretty uncomfortable for sitting

so
i have lost weight
but i've no idea how much
all my clothes seem fine
they're just too long
and they're extra drapey

so
i'm guessing maybe fifteen to twenty pounds
over the last four to five months
maybe