ramblings

ok
stuff
i feel like i'm on this quest to find
the stuff i really like
and i feel like i've been on it for several years

and
i can't really understand how that's possible
i mean
haven't i known what i like
haven't i been with me all along
but, no, not exactly

i've changed a good deal in the last few years

now
there's skin care
and that's a false flag operation
i'm not sure there's an end to that
because i've thought i had the perfect routine
countless times
and i keep changing it
and
i just have again, sort of

there's a cleanser that i really really liked
but i decided it was too expensive at the rate i was going through it
but i just recently decided to order the beauty water
with the incentive of a small travel size cleanser
because you're supposed to be able to mix them together to make a mask

i need exfoliation and my skin isn't exactly sensitive
but it becomes over-stimulated easily
and then it breaks out more
but
if i mix the pa'akai and the beauty water and use that as a cleanser
about three times a week
my skin looks pretty good--  smaller pores, firmer, just good

i'm sure i've already mentioned the manyo factory galactomy niacin essence
i tried out a couple of cheaper options but they just don't give the same glow
and besides it takes months to use up that bottle
so not expensive really

well
everybody's doing black friday early sales
so i'm breaking down and buying some stuff i've been looking at for several years
niod sdsm the ordinary EUK 134
i thought i was going to be choosing between them
but
i think maybe it's both
sdsm is like marine hyaluronics, but more, better, lighter
and i got manyo factory bifida
i've used the missha and the estee lauder (although i was too young when i tried that to see a benefit as it's an anti-aging serum and i used one my mom got a sample of when i was a teenager, maybe or early twenties at the latest)
i wanted the ingredient
and i kept looking a cheaper brands:  kranicell, elizavecca
but i decided it would be the same as the galactomy (not as good)
and manyo is a fuck ton cheaper than even missha

and then soko glam sent me a 30% off email
and i got really crazy

for years and years and years i have wanted to try swanicoco brand
i wanted a fermented snail serum
but that has proven to be
elusive

soko glam doesn't have it either
but they have this
swanicoco is a clean beauty brand (as is manyo factory)
niod and the ordinary are maybe clean-ish
but very science-y and, anyway, not dirty
[that's what i'm telling myself, anyway--  PEGs are fine, really]

and i still wanted snail
so i found a missha snail serum
but
that wasn't even pretend clean
and it was pricey
and it has heavy perfume and i said:  enough, no, just no

and i wanted a seaweed serum
and osea has one, but it's too expensive, even at 20% off

and then i saw this
and i've been interested in klavuu for a while
but didn't see anything that looked right for me
and whatever--  it's ewg green level
even though it's not like green beauty
but it's got silt, man, silt
and seaweed [which i'm hoping isn't radioactive]
and hydrolyzed collagen to plump me up

idk
i just felt a vibe, ya know
sometimes it's like that


i've also got data about food
and clothing
but
i'm apparently obsessed with the skin care


and
maybe you

goodnight sweetheart
i love you very much