this is less of a thing than a ramble

today i slept until noon-thirty
this is gettin to be a thing on off days
i brushed my teeth
then
i skipped the shower and quested coffee
which i drank with eggnog in it
i'm kinda missing the soy
but i was trying to get into the holiday spirit
plus
we're gonna find out if dairy is behind my improved skin
at least in part
it's been better
and i'm sure part is product

well
i have had the eggnog for several days
and i had cheese for dinner (with fruit and bread) last night
and i have a huge cystic thing on my chin
so
dairy may be a thing
or
i may be about to have a period
i haven't been keeping track like i was
like i planned to
so, i'm not sure
but i think i've had four this year
i always get a big cystic thing on my chin or my cheek, always
and
i rarely get them any other time
and this is huge
but it doesn't hurt
and it isn't red
so
idk

i checked my bank balance on the phone
and i only had $7. in the account
i think all the auto withdrawls have come out
but i usually like to keep a $50. buffer
and i can't remember when the bank fee comes out
i'm pretty sure it's the beginning of the month
but inexplicably i couldn't find my statement

so
i did something i never do
i didn't shower
i just got dressed
and went to the bank
i have some money i keep for road trips
because it makes me think i'm gonna be able to afford to do them
which makes me less depressed
plus, like, emergencies and stuff, ya know

i stopped in whole foods, which is right next door to the bank
i'm going to a new branch down on voss
the one by my apartment just closed down
voss isn't far
but i feel like it's an enormous inconvenience

i spent, at whole foods $5.98
which has got to be a sign of the apocalypse
i wanted sunflower sprouts
they only had one package $2.99
i wanted organic soy milk $2.99

i used to couldn't get out of there for less than $60.
now there's just nothing that looks appealing or fun
it's just a sad sad place now

i stopped at HEB on the way home
i stopped at the station where they are sampling sushi rolls
they are almost always sampling
but i mostly don't stop
because i think it's somehow rude
if you know you aren't going to buy it
but today
i hadn't eaten and i was looking at the sushi rolls
crunchy california rolls
and they were on wednesday special $7
reminded me of the convenience store woman
they were good
i got a pacage
they were like regular california rolls, but
with those really crunchy bits they put on sushi rolls
and drizzled with sriracha mayo

i bought witch hazel even though i'm not out because HEB is the cheapest
i almost bought some at CVS the other day
i had a 32% off coupon
but i'm like naw
i think HEB is still cheaper
and it is
i used to always get cotton rounds there too
but now i've started getting them from the grove collective
becuase they are about the same price but they are organic cotton
and they kinda remind me of the shisheido cotton pads
but round
i've also started getting these, which i really like
i got them as a free gift with my grove order
and they smell good and feel good and take makeup off pretty good
and it's got all those nice root extracts
i've never liked makeup wipes-- i use these
but they don't really take makeup off
they just clean off the stuff you use to take the makeup off

i also got this to celebrate having clear enough skin
to get by with a non-coverage foundation
also
i had a tinted primer that i liked
although i kinda decided it was maybe too dark
or oxidizing or something
and it was really expensive because i had bought a supersize
but my asshole cat
decided i wasn't feeding him fast enough
and he's off hurting me
now that he realizes that it hurts me
so he bit through the huge and at least three months left supply
and even though i put packing tape over it
so air won't get in
it still has cat tooth/mouth germ contamination
and
i can't bring myself to use it

i used to use biotherm eye cream
back when i was in my twenties
one time the lid cracked
and i said:  oh well no big deal
and kept using it
and one day
my eye skin was all fucked up when i woke up
red and peeling
and swollen
and ruined
and i'm positive something grew in the no longer sealing container
and since then
i won't risk it
it took me a really long time to cure that


anyway
whew, long aside there

when i left the grocery store
something liquid came from the sky
though it didn't seem to be raining
and splattered my glasses
and the top of my head
and
i was walking under a semi covered place where a bunch of birds were
and my first thought was
did a bird seriously just shit on me
but
it didn't seem to be shit
it was sort of but not entirely clear
so
i'm going with--  a bird peed on me

is that good luck
i'm sure i heard something like that, somewhere


goodnight sweetheart
i love you very much