more ungood dreams

I dreamed
I was trying to manage my dept
which I can't remember
what that was exactly
but it was coffee, somehow
tasting room maybe
because I needed three sleeves of cups
so I ordered them


but then
the new manager
I guess saw I had been the last one
to order cups
and left a message
that I didn't get until late
be sure you order cups


now
they were pretty much outta cups
that had been borrowing
from other stores
but nobody knew how many they owed
I couldn't find out pars
or sales units
or
even
how often cups could be ordered
so
did I mention it was Christmas time
really all I could do
was order the maximum
which was ten boxes of each
but they didn't have room
for that
and it was 5:05pm
and maybe cutoff was 5:00pm
so maybe they wouldn't get anything
and I was appalled and super stressed
because
I know how to order
but you need to know
something
to get it right
and I wanted to order all these
beautiful packages
of Christmas cookies
because I knew I could sell them
but
I thought I probably wasn't allowed to
and that stressed me out too




then
there was Lloyd
he was an older than me guy
not like old
he was sweet
but a huge downer
he was a widower
and he talked about his wife
constantly
and he wasn't my friend
but like a long-standing acquaintance
I think he was a customer
and I was standing outside
in the country, somewhere
introducing him to some other
male acquaintance
they were talking
and
it suddenly became clear to me
that he resented me
for never wanting to
I'm not sure
sleep with him
date him
marry him and take care of him
and
I had never had any attraction to him
what he inspired was pity
more than anything
but
there had never been one inch of room
for me to develop feelings
how could he resent me for that
and then
he says to the other guy
Myrna and I
were always meant to be Memphis
we were always just a little too
St. Louis some how
and then he split and divided
and became a crowd of men
pushing up on me
crowding me
passively aggressively
demanding things of me




then I woke up