so, i'm at work

I'm starting to wonder
am I officially depressed
should I be seeking meds
am I a difficult person?
how much of the trappedness that I feel
is just in my head
how am I going to get over it
what's going on with you
are you ok
how close do you actually want me


I don't feel like myself
I don't feel happy
but
if I felt happy
would I feel like myself


I want to run away
I want to live away from people
that desire
it's not getting weaker
as I age


and
probably
a lot of things