very strange dreams the last few days

they have been
more like story outlines
than anything that seems related to me

but
maybe not
maybe they are related to me
they seemed to use me as a referent
but it seemed more like a short hand

in one
there was a woman
and there were paintings

i'm a little sketchy about her details
she might have been in the military
or she might have been a warrior
or
she could have been each of those things
in different times

she was in a relationship
but there was something weird about it
she had come back to him after many years or something
maybe she had known him in each of these lives, i'm not sure

she had the paintings
which were not particularly good
nor did she paint them
or even buy them, really
she didn't seem to care for them
she was hanging them in a large room
but it became a big open outdoor space
and the paintings were aligning with the landscape
like she was recreating the primal environment
from the earlier life

but more like
that was a metaphor
for aligning the two lives
or aspects
or whatever

but then
she told the guy she had to leave
he said:
you came back to leave

i remember that
what is that about

i found it disturbing



the other one
was
(i think apocalyptic)
but
at least
it was running and hiding
and survival

that one was last night
and
i had the distinct impression
that it was meant to be a story
but
i had to go to breakfast with my mom
and now
it is totally gone
damn it


i'm trying to be there
but sometimes you really have to have the whole thing
and you can't just have one bit of it
so i'm trying to figure out
if i can put myself in the place
is that going to help
because the whole thing
as a big picture
is lost to me
and
i'd really like to tell this story


anyway
i love you