ok, so i fell asleep in the tub and i'm not sure how coherent this will be...

although i have technically been with a lanky man
i have never ridden one
and i find myself wondering
am i gonna get poked
i am pretty careful
not to lose control of my balance
so
i'm not worried about damaging you
but
will i be aware of bones
i am intrigued


i saw this golden cowhide rug today
and i picture that rug
in front of a fire
in a cabin
by a lake

it's been so long
i can't really remember
but
you're configured differently enough
i'd have to relearn anyway
and
maybe
in reality
i'd get drunk
or stoned
so that i wouldn't be afraid
or worried about performance
but in my fantasy now
you're just a lot of fun
bucking
and
playful
with the candles and fireplace
making the lights flicker and jump

i get to imagine squeezing from the inside
and if those muscles have weakened
then
i'll just need more practice
cause it needs to be
just about
intake-of-breath
eyes-rolling-back
strength
to make me happy
it's weird
i need certain reactions
and i'll just have to play with you
until i learn what makes you tick

i worry
of course
that you're just like that
which
i'd bet a fair sum you are
and i've had to work myself around to it
it may surprise you to know
i'm a little afraid you'll want to eat me up

i've never been too into that
it's kinda gentle
and maybe i've never had anybody competent
or maybe i just wanted to be the top
but it's like seriously i've almost never

and
i just wonder
will it be scary and awkward the first time
or will it be
the total floodgate i feel in my bones that it will be
and i've already told you so much
it might be amazing
but what if it isn't
will that break some spell
or will it even matter

i mean
if it were about body parts
we'd have gotten bored long before now

this isn't very romantic
when i was naked in the tub
it was all very artful grinding and rolling and laughing and playing
down by the fire
and then star gazing
through the big skylight in the sleep loft of the cabin
snuggled under a blanket
falling asleep touching

drinking coffee
watching the fog rise off the lake
the next morning
with the blanket wrapped around us for warmth

i love you
i gotta sleep a little bit more