food thoughts

i know i said that i just want to eat peanut butter and refried beans

i told you that i didn't eat peanut butter
but i didn't tell you about beans
now, refried beans i would eat
but only in small quantities on or in things
never by themselves
i have
in general
disliked beans

my charming stepmother knew this
and we had power struggles around beans
so
far from being trigger foods
these were like
anti-trigger foods

roasted salted almonds (especially smoked almonds)
those would be a trigger food for me
meaning something like chips for most people
like, once you start
you have real trouble stopping
and they would have protein
but i have no desire for them

doesn't it seem odd to crave foods you never liked
i mean
i ate an entire can of chipotle beans the other day
and i didn't want to adulterate them with rice or tortillas
i just wanted them straight
maybe i've been taken over by something

the problem is
i've never really gotten good at making beans
or hummus, even
because it's so easy to buy them ready made
which i am trying not to do
and
i've almost got a hummus i like
next time i'm using roasted garlic and i think i'll be there
but
today
today i made beans

anasazi beans
cooked with onions and ,ok, a can of smokey roasted chipotles
but i'm not there yet i'll figure it out
i also cooked it with kombu
until the kombu dissolved into the beans
increases absorption and renegades in minerals
anyway
i cooked em for about six hours
and used a submersion blender on em
and i used spices too (they have nice heat)
and i think they'll be great refried
but i'm also thinking chili
what would i need to add
i'm quite excited
and
i'm thinking mole black beans

i made some banana bread bars
with oat bran, salba, brazil nuts and cardamon
(they just finished)
super healthy
could be sweeter
but i made them for breakfasts with peanut butter

hold on
let me try them that way

i am quite pleased

i made some bars when i was last on the road
with pear pulp and oat bran
and just a little of that with peanut butter
and a bunch of water
will hold you for hours and hours
but they weren't this tasty

i don't know if this stuff is interesting to you
but it's pretty exciting to me

but
i still think it's weird
that i really love foods
that are lifelong nuh uh foods