SO
irritating
I DO remind myself
that she is
BROKEN
BUT
I just find the
attempts
at getting me to
BEHAVE in a certain way
by prodding me a certain way
AND THEN
I say
are you SURE you are not behaving
SOME KINDA way
& I'm LIKE
I ABSOLUTELY AM behaving SOME kinda WAY
I'm following
to the BEST of my
ABILITY
that CHASE guy
HOW
to MAINTAIN
I'm NOT reacting to ANYTHING
I'm LETTING there
BE SILENCE
I used to
TALK to ENTERTAIN her
BUT
it EXHAUSTED me
& SHE
made it
CLEAR
I WASN'T
entertaining
for years
SO
I talk if I have something to say
BUT
often I don't really
if she talks to ME I always answer
I'm --
however I AM --
EXCEPT
as much as possible
MAINTAINING
when she
irritates me
I'm not trying to be an as*h*le
BUT
I'm
NOT
treating her like I would
USUALLY in the
PAST
ANY
of the WAYS from the PAST
I WAS KINDA trying to FOLLOW the EXAMPLE of
HOW SHE treated ME
THAT got PROBLEMATICAL
because it FOCUSED me
in a WAY I thought
REINFORCED
some of my
PROBLEMS
SO
I'm just
KINDA
over
a LOT of the behavior that she may or may not be AWARE of
I'm trying to be
"normal"
OR
SUPER
but it is possible that I'm only doing
BETTER
BUT
for SURE
I'm doing better
I don't UNDERSTAND the question
WHY
in the world would I be
OFFENDED
to be called a good daughter
BUT
WHEN
did she care about offending me
it SEEMS like
a trick question
LIKE
EVERYTHING offends ME
would it be
OK
miss HIGH and mighty
can you TAKE a COMPLIMENT
it doesn't make SENSE and I'm not looking to
CONTRIBUTE to whatever
AND THEN I'm LIKE
are you just being
MEAN
and grievance-y
YOU
started over with her
ALL this STUFF
is CURRENT
STUFF
I MEAN not 💯 because
TRIGGERs
BUT
I'm not looking for vengeance
I'm looking for
CLOSURE
