I am with c*nty again today
BUT
studio instead of
DOCTOR
I will say
the mouth noises approach is helpful
BUT
she doesn't make any sense
I hope you are having
ADVENTURES
I hope you are
ENJOYING
your interactions with
your travel
COMPANION
close proximity to other humans can be
a rollercoaster
I'm having to
accept all these negative emotions
as being how I really feel
& I'm not really
LIKING it
I looked up
WHY does my mother
DISGUST me
& it VERY helpfully listed OUT
LIKE a whole list of things
ALL of which applied
SO
I guess it does make SENSE but the thing is
I don't WANT to be all
SOAKING in
my negative thoughts about her
I just want to get away from her
& I'm thinking that
this need to be
AWAY from
my family of origin
it's not
GREAT
BUT
I'm not sure the level of detachment necessary to not be disturbed by it would be good either
I JUST
KEEP thinking
HOW do I FIX
ME
where I can just
DEAL with it
without
having to work myself all up to
I DON'T CARE
because EVEN if I HATE her
which I'm NOT saying I do
I STILL
CARE about her
SOMEHOW
I just don't want to SEE her or HEAR her
OR
WHATEVER
it's a WHOLE process
BUT
I'm uncertain
WHAT
I'm AIMING
FOR
