on multiple
LEVELS
&
it's DIFFICULT not to become OVERWHELMED
thinking about
STUFF
I'm not going through that stuff
AGAIN
AM I gonna
THROW
her paintings
AWAY
I don't WANT to get into that RIGHT NOW
there are some varrying ideas
in the hopper
I didn't go to work club today
I guess
I needed to process emotions
PROCESSING
FEAR
of uncertainty
is not as
HARD
HARD
as
AVOIDING feeling that FEAR
THAT is ALWAYS
FELT like
SOME
SORT
of
ONCOMING
painful
OBLITERATION
I'm not sure I said all that
in the right configuration to make sense
EVEN
the WORST
THINGS
that are likely to happen to me
aren't
THAT bad
I ALSO
didn't used to have the
CONCEPT of
the OVERWHELM
I KINDA just
PUSHED
I didn't acknowledge
I'm still figuring it all out
& I'm still not sure
I'm totally
FEELING
my feelings
& I want to be
ALTHOUGH
another part of me
thinks ALL of this is
JUST
DRAMA
because that is what
EVERYONE
has said my whole life
& I internalized it
BUT
🌊
