it was very distracting 

the squeaky toy

interesting talk

about

the dodgers

it was KINDA 

a WEIRD 

day

I need to sleep 

I LOVE you 

MOONS

💋🫶👾🫚🍀☁️☕🐦🎯

I was thinking about

my saying

yelling at the TV 

is just something I do

& I REMEMBERED 

& WONDERED

whether

I've ALREADY 

TOLD you 

ABOUT 

my LETTER to NIXON 

I dictated to my gran gran

as I could not

TYPE 

or WRITE 

I'm UNCERTAIN 

WHY I FELT 

CALLED

I almost don't write this

because, I MEAN, surely 

it's not interesting 

BUT 

it made me happy 

SO

I'm going to tell you 

my MAKEUP is all

that kind of

NEW hybrid skincare

COVERGIRL 

simply ageless

SKIN perfector ESSENCE

it's very light hydrating SERUM 

with bakuchiol

& shimmer

PIGMENT

&

KOPARI

bright as day

zinc oxide tinted sunscreen

it's got that little bits of brightness

and this KINDA peachy

COLOR 

and this is NEW

this COMBO

ulta does these sales

stuff is fifty percent off

SO

I usually end up 

GETTING 

something 

the KOPARI is from that

they discontinued an 

OIL of theirs

I was in love with

AND

THIS sunscreen seemed promising 

zinc oxide clears my skin

USUALLY 

but it's usually kinda claggy

THIS 

is liquid

light as air

& somehow 

a color match

I looked in the visor mirror 

driving home from the studio 

I was pretty happy with it 

I'm trying to 

FOCUS

on the

JOY

of the 

what I would tend to call the perfect thing

BUT 

THAT places 

the EMPHASIS 

in the WRONG place 

the THING 

that WORKS-- 

SATISFYINGLY 

SERIOUSLY though 

it FEELS 

LIKE 

the

SHAPE 

OR

proportions 

of my LEGS

are

SOMEHOW 

LESS

in need of voluminous 

COVER

AND

I am LESS

in NEED

of ARMOR 

OK

I WANT to know 

ABOUT the

EXCITING news

what I have to talk about is less exciting 

I bought these pants

I saw them

& cuddl duds is a brand

I am currently 

positively 

BIASED

towards

what REALLY sold me on them

they have this print

it's like houndstooth or something 

& I'm LIKE 

come on

SERIOUSLY 

they are 

JOGGERS

I'm LIKE 

REMEMBER those pants 

I USED to have 

I had some similar pants

LONG TIME AGO

they should NOT have looked good on me

BUT 

they LOOKED amazing 

&

I was convinced it was the 

PRINT

SO

I GOT them

& I put them on

& it was LIKE 

I wasn't wearing pants

in terms

of there being 

NO RESISTANCE 

no discomfort, nothing to make me THINK about PANTS

BUT 

after I wore them all day

OUT 

when I got HOME and LOOKED in the MIRROR 

I was LIKE 

WAIT, WHAT

these pants are technically french terry

BUT very fine gauge

HOW 

had I not FELT 

VULNERABLE 

THAT awareness 

was WEIRD 

I even think

they might be a little tighter

than is perhaps 

OPTIMAL

BUT 

I'm LIKE 

THIS 

all the time, please

it's quite a sporty look

I seem to be

DEVELOPING 

BESS greenberg!

YOU 

ARE

CLASS

that whole interaction was 

a CLASS ACT

❤️

I'm listening to 

TK today 

BOOGER 

always teaches me something 

it's thunderstorms here

all day today 

I LOVE you VERY much sweetheart 💋 

I hope you are having a beautiful day 🫶

goodnight sweetheart 💋 

I LOVE you 

MOONS

🫶🫶🫶

👾🫚🍀

☁️☕🐦

OK

I am not sure

if the dandelion is done 

I was going to 

layer more

make it

MORE 

coming 

OUT AT ya

BUT 

THEN 

I thought it seemed like 

I was underneath 

the flower

looking 

UP

THRU

I'm NOT sure 

if it looks finished 

to OTHERS 

BUT 

I'm LIKE 

LIKING it 

I been thinking about you 

all day

❤️

I went with this one for this spot although I like the other one better

have FUN out there!

I LOVE you VERY much sweetheart 💋

🤪🧲🛸🧲🧠🧲☕

had a hard time 

articulating

BUT 

I got

SOME 

goodnight sweetheart 💋 

I LOVE you 

MOONS

🫶🫶🫶

👾🫚🍀☁️☕🧠💋

🧲🛸

you remember when

I was giving

you

playlists 

LIKE 

some kind of heist cast of characters

well

THAT

I was realizing 

is pretty much the WAY I do things

or maybe 

HOW 

I think about things

LIKE 

in ancient egyptian art

they represented the human body 

in this WEIRD way 

BECAUSE 

they were trying to 

SHOW 

ALL

THE

BEAUTY 

different angles 

at once

SOMETHING 

about my body

OR

the way

I SEE

my body 

&

I WISH I 

KNEW 

which of those it was

BECAUSE 

I'd like to

KNOW 

which stuff I'm doing is working 

therapy was cancelled 

his mother is 

worse

& he was going to louisiana 

I went back to sleep 

for

my plan was

another hour

BUT 

I didn't get up

till two or so

I am

not freaking out 

although there is plenty to freak out about

I hope you are doing well 

& that your

resistance to freak out

is strong

I unsubscribed 

from a bunch of media

idk

it's 11:11 again

I LOVE you VERY much sweetheart 💋🫶

please take good care of yourself 

it's 

STRANGE DAYS 

out there

crap

I should already 

LONG 

been asleep 

goodnight sweetheart 💋

I LOVE you 

🫶MOONS🫶

👾🫚🍀

☁️☕🧠

OK

as part of

MAINTAINING contact

with america 

I'm going to 

listen to

TK

BUT 

I'm not going to be 

LIKE 

MUST listen to 

EVERY show

& if I'm not 

feeling 

SOLID 

I'll suspend listening until I do

WAIT 

WHAT 

did I miss 

SOMETHING 

or is this

NEW

news

I just saw

that one thing

I LOVE that he

SANG along

❤️

you ARE pretty

EPIC 

🧠💋

THAT

WAS

GREAT

I'm so happy you got

to sit at the table

the whole 

time

🎯💎

ALSO 

mailbag

he REALLY likes you

ps van by the river

❤️

CONGRATULATIONS 

on having something to 

WRITE about 

FOR YEARS 

AND

it isn't horrible 

that's NOT a CROW 🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛ 

DRESSED UP

as an 🦅🦅🦅 

EAGLE

THIS 

is a fabulous 

BINGHAMTON 

DAY for me

these two are more or less finished and might be good here although the dandelion one might be better when it's done, not sure

I LOVE you 

🫶MOONS🫶

I'm gonna try to sleep 

I predict 

I will either 

pass out

or

have to

MEDITATE

have I told you

I used to live

near

TWO

TRAIN TRACKS

it was close ENOUGH to 

be a regular AMBIENT noise

tell time-ish by it SOMETIMES 

BUT 

NOT 

right on top of me

I LOVED the 

TRAIN SOUNDS 

goodnight sweetheart 💋

I LOVE you VERY much 🫶 

👾🫚🍀☁️☕☁️

🧲🛸

I've got

morning in los angeles 

STUCK in my HEAD 

BUT 

it's like a film score

it's BIG

LIKE 

ORCHESTRA big

& it's keeps

going off

on these little COMBO 

flourish/solo improv

with ADDED 

flamenco 

it's 

FILLING 

me UP

I HOPE 

you are having

ADVENTURES

& FUN

& meeting cool people 

I hope the weather 

is an enjoyable 

EXPERIENCE 

or at least

neutral 

ya know 

I want 

GOOD 

STUFF 

the temperature here

is more normal 

RAINY ⛈️ 

I didn't do my laundry 

I don't know how to 

DESCRIBE 

I am KINDA spaced out

I AM able to FOCUS 

on the way my artwork looks

& I'm pretty happy 

SO far--

I just keep trying to think

WHAT GOES

BETWEEN 

those two paintings 

what have I got

I've GOT 

a bunch of red stuff

that won't look good there

& that I'm not that happy with 

I've got 

a bunch of unfinished stuff 

well, maybe "a bunch" is a stretch 

I've got some

older stuff

BUT 

I want that spot to be

NEW, new

& I'm NOT SURE any of the NEW new stuff 

WORKS 

I've got all my mom's stuff 

moved and hung

I still have to 

PACK up all my PAPERS 

BUT 

I can't do THAT 

if I'm still 

PAINTING 

SO

I'm going to 

PAINT

tomorrow 

I AM able to FOCUS 

on the WAY

my clothes 

FEEL

&

to SOME degree 

the WAY

my body 

FEELS

I haven't been able to 

MAKE myself 

take

my "vitamins"

NORMALLY 

I KINDA 

enjoy 

that

BUT 

it STARTED 

a few days ago

some sh*t about

NOT having to do stuff 

on account of it being a 

SNOW ❄️ DAY

I took them

on all the days

it didn't ACTUALLY 

SNOW ❄️🌨️ 

BUT 

it was

KINDA a battle

& APPARENTLY the battle continues 

I'm NOT saying 

ANY of that

makes

SENSE 

I am falling asleep 

I have a desire 

to talk to you

BUT 

I don't seem to be talking 

THAT 

is one

I'd really like to see 

you know 

it's gonna be seventeen degrees 

goodnight sweetheart 💋 

I LOVE you 

MOONS 🫶

👾🫚🍀

☁️☕☁️

❤️

I am worn out

it's not done

I'm probably not going tomorrow 

that painting 

that I renamed

MORNING in LOS ANGELES 

it always WAS

KINDA

a fantasy LA

BUT 

I called it 

FLOATING world 1

or SOMETHING 

LIKE 

BUT 

THAT SONG 

has been running round my HEAD

& when I was typing the email 

to donna 

I changed it

ALSO

RED DAY GLO

with the fireflies one

it was just fireflies 

BUT 

again, while typing I had a thought

fireflies just says

HEY here's some fireflies, see

it only asks you to look

I thought ASKING 

HEY

REMEMBER 

seemed a little more

ENGAGING/confrontational

the other one

didn't 

previously

have a name

& I'm not hundo about this name

I'm HAPPIER than 

LAST time 

with

HOW it

LOOKS 

BUT 

I don't feel like it's 

FINISHED 

my hallway wall

just needs

ONE

MORE 

& I REALLY WANT it to be

a 12"x16" framed

which I'm pretty 

CONFIDENT

wii fit

my studio walls

NEED WORK 

I have a BUNCH 

of UNFINISHED 

STUFF 

we'll 

SEE

OK

I'm NOT gonna

LOOK at

ELIE 

BC--mainer 

was already MORE 

than I can ACTUALLY handle 

andras

isn't making enough sense to me

to even

COMMENT 

I just see your smile

AND 

a flash of green

AND

the twister

shifts

AWAY 

I LOVE you sweetheart 💋 

I gotta go to sleep 

let's DREAM 

some

good 

stuff

...🔥...

...🫶...

...❤️...

👾🫚🍀

☁️☁️☁️

☕☕☕

☁️☁️☁️

that's a dangling participle 

OK

YEAH

I forgot 

CARVEL said

he didn't think the

ELECTION 

was gonna be close

I was sure

I thought he meant

KAMALA wins by a larger margin than you think 

I trusted that as

LEGIT

because of just this skill 

CARVEL's got good

INSTINCT

and

I think he might be 

SOME type of

GENIUS

I can't remember 

EXACTLY what 

I KNOW 

SO

was he fooled

OR 

did I read him 

WRONG 

he DIGGED it

😁😁😁😁😁😁

OH

I got a heating 

STORY

OK

REMEMBER 

a few years

AGO

TEXAS

had the grid go down 

SO

the POWER has

OFFERED

people this cool new way to "save" money

they can go on a VARIABLE rate

NOW 

I say this is a scam, been saying that

I have a five year contract

BECAUSE 

THAT

sh*t

NEVER 

goes DOWN 

BUT 

the VARIABLES 

lot of them

GOT

LIKE 

three thousand dollar electric bills

I'm pretty sure 

there were lawsuits

okay, going back 

OK

listening now 

RETURN of the 

MOUSE

I'm putting these in the show

CONTROL/ALT/REPEAT

16"x20" mixed media 

MORNING in LOS ANGELES 

20"x20" acrylic 

REMEMBER fireflies???

30"x40" acrylic 

I renamed them

does this seem good?

MAYBE 

they aren't new enough 

BUT 

I thought I'd do the newer stuff in the studio 

I didn't have a chance 

BEFORE 

I left to do all the things 

SO

it may be 

TONIGHT-ish

BUT 

I'm looking forward to 

TK

I have STUFF to do 

TOMORROW 

it's supposed to be up in the fifties, maybe

you

can't 

WAKE

UP

unless you go to

SLEEP 

is true

&

it SOUNDED 

for a second there

LIKE 

it was also going to be deep

I'm not seeing it though

goodnight sweetheart 💋 

🫶MOONS🫶

❤️👾🫚🍀

☁️☕☁️

🧲⚾💤

.....🔥.....

.....🫶.......

p.s. I love you very much 

p.p.s. I think I enjoy emojis 

the MOON in

it's SOCKET

OH NO

I'm afraid so

MOON SOCK-IT to ME

do you feel better

because I do not 

moon socket moon socket

STOP

OH

HA

that video ended up

being an ad

for a webinar

or something 

I'm not buying all of that

BUT 

there are

BITS of it that

DANCE to the

QUANTUM music

I like those edges, up in there

I found him 

UNnecessarily HOMOsapien-ist

& I didn't like the

USE of the word

WORTHY 

PARTS

of it though

FIT some quadrant

ACTIVATED

by sh*t david Lynch said 

in his closing remarks 

I just saw

this guy

& he's 

TALKing

ABOUT 

meditation and centering and whatnot

AND

he says I ask myself three questions 

WHO AM I

WHERE AM I

AND

his third one didn't quite match

what my daddy and I 

CHANTED

I forgot until JUST now 

the guy in the video 

WHAT am I doing 

BUT

we said

WHAT am I DOING HERE

who am I

where am I

what am I doing here

who am I

where am I

what am I doing here 

HUH 

in fact

THIS MIGHT be 

FUNNY 

it's funny to me

my mom didn't change her name

when she married 

BOB 

BUT 

he put her with his name

in all the STUFF 

AND

it has caused her some large amount of trouble 

she b*tCHes about it 

FREQUENTLY 

& I just KINDA mumble, something 

SOMETIMES more like

yeah, I KNOW, you've 

MENTIONED it

SOMETIMES more like

you NEVER SAW any

PAPERWORK 

BUT 

we were driving around the other day

& she was LIKE 

WHO could have

KNOWN 

AND

I was LIKE 

WHEN you TOLD me

YOU were GONNA

MARRY him

I ASKED 

you if you were gonna change your name

and you said NO,

OF COURSE 

NOT 

&

I SAID

THAT is a CONVERSATION 

you NEED to HAVE 

BEFORE 

you get

MARRIED 

DID you HAVE that CONVERSATION 

NO

well, THAT is HOW you'd KNOW 

edited

I still haven't put

TOGETHER 

what

I was trying to say 

ABOUT 

FILM

BUT 

I want to tell you

ABOUT 

my eleven year old* 

*possibly twelve, I'm not sure

OSCARS theory

I don't remember 

the films

& the people SPECIFICALLY involved 

BUT 

I became 

CONVINCED that 

JUDGES

were CONSIDERING THINGS people did in previous years that they MAYBE deserved to WIN for that OTHER TIME 

SO

TO ME

THIS INVALIDATED

the ENTIRE thing

if it wasn't 

ABOUT 

WHO

DID

BEST

what were we EVEN DOING here

I think 

I'm not sure 

HOW 

I feel about it 

NOW 

I THINK 

I currently believe 

that although I can't say I was 

WRONG exactly 

I THINK 

it's easier to believe in an

OBJECTIVE 

WINNER 

when you're LOOKing

from ONE perspective 

my ONE TAKE at the time--

it's ALL POLITICS 

I was QUITE dramatic about it

I considered it a disillusionment 

THAT'S HOW I 

THOUGHT 

of them*

*I was making a list

WARNING--

[I'm sorry, I think this is really funny now, but it might not sound that way]

LATER 

I ADDED 

--HEY, I THOUGHT 

you were SUPPOSED to 

be able to TRUST 

PARENTAL 

ADVICE--

BUT 

one hundred percent 

if I JUST 

DID what I 

THOUGHT 

DIDN'T 

ASK

BETTER 

this was ALL an adolescent 

THING-- 

the LIST of 

DISILLUSIONMENT 

SHOUT OUT 

to map sh*t

I can't 

follow

AWW that was sweet 

telling his son

he was a much better 

PARENT 

KOUFAX 

UECKER

SOUP drops

soup you can suck on

marblehead not Revere

GLUCK

to be clear 

is he saying that he likes AI GLUCK 

BETTER than 

ACTUAL GLUCK

or that it's 

SCARY 

HOW 

close AI gets

I haven't had that experience 

& I should probably 

LISTEN again 

hang on

well

I mean

it rhymes nice

BUT 

it doesn't seem to have

MUCH GLUCK

although I'm FAR from an expert on GLUCK 

I hope you're having a beautiful day sweetheart 🫶 🫶 🫶 

BARRY!

I am first and foremost 

a WISE GUY 

& I CAN appreciate THAT 

my screaming at the television 

is a thing I do

I'm not trying to 

be disruptive 

to ya'll's 

relationship 

DARIUS 

SINGS

the mailbag

Rocky Raccoon 

MY DAUGHTER wants

to see the

SUPER BOWL 

BECAUSE 

of taylor swift 

I'm sorry 

YOU'RE WELCOME 

OK

I know it's 

PROBABLY 

OBJECTIVELY 

something to mention 

if a public official

mis-spells the team name

in a chant

BUT 

I hear

WOMAN

& it's TONE DEAF for the

HAND MAID MOMENT

ALSO 

WTF

can't pick Caitlyn Clark 

OUT of a LINE UP 

DUDE?!

I think this is yesterday's show

BUT 

I'm listening to it

ANYWAY 

mathew macconnehey*

*way too many letters, but it makes me laugh so I'm leaving it for you to see what I'm working with here

SHOUT OUT 

SNOW ❄️❄️❄️🌨️🌨️🌨️ 

in HOT

places

Did I say

goodnight 

I think I did 

I'm thinking 

SCATTER shot

🔥

🫶

I am looking forward 

to listening to TK

& I usually 

enjoy

the show anyway 

JUST 

a very strong world

BUT 

I have been thinking about it 

ALSO 

completely unrelated to that 

DO you think

ABRAHAM hicks

is really 

CHANNELING 

I MEAN 

it KINDA doesn't matter 

BUT 

I'm CURIOUS 

I LOVE you 

VERY 

MANY 

MOONS

💋🫶

👾🫚🍀

⚾☁️☕🔥❄️

🧲🧿💤💤

I had this 

WHOLE thing 

ABOUT 

how I loved movies

&

then I had this WHOLE thing 

I FIGURED out

ABOUT 

the OSCARS

BUT 

I somehow 

LOST the THREAD

that TIED me to WHAT I was

TRYING to 

ACTUALLY 

SAY

BUT 

MAYBE 

it ties in with

DAVID LYNCH 

& how important he is

she doesn't seem to exist 

I saw her last time I was there

I thought she seemed

KINDA

LIKE 

destined for great things

I can't NOW remember 

any songs

she sang

& I probably didn't talk about her

I THINK 

I got very caught up with 

ANOTHER girl

who was more the

VIBE

I was ON at the time

BUT 

it would have been 

GREAT to

SEE 

THAT 

BUT 

I AM

HAPPY 

you got to connect with good people 

that is a good good thing 

OH

I almost forgot 

the semi-motivating

impetus

she LOOKED a lot

LIKE 

a girl I used to go to school with

who MIGHT be

LIKE 

OBJECTIVELY 

the COOLest person I ever knew

LINDLEY STORM

f*CK

now I have to Google her

well

I guess I'd been

DRIVING 

four years

SO

NOT 

like new new driver

OH

I thought of a STORY 

it wasn't SNOW 

there was an

ICE storm

MAYBE 

whatever it was

the STREET conditions were

DON'T DRIVE

&

CHARLOTTE 

had called to tell me

because she knew

I was driving to 

WORK

BUT 

she didn't get me

she got my mom, because I had already left

& my mom is like 

oh no

she had to go OPEN the CART for me

it was pretty scary

I hadn't been 

DRIVING 

all that

LONG

I saw some reel 

SOMEWHERE 

& it's like 

HOUSTON 

POUNDED

with this idealic nice snow

"driving"

cause

WIND

this beautiful 

what is, I MEAN, I can tell

it's NICE snow

BUT 

I ALWAYS say

if three snowflakes fall from the sky

the ENTIRE city

SHUTS DOWN 

METRO closed

on Monday

I am

LIMITING 

what I watch

BC--mainer

Elie

B-mo is like cultural correspondent

other stuff gets in

BUT 

I cannot let myself 

ABSORB

ya KNOW 

I am NOT 

HELPING ANYONE 

by FREAKING out 

SURREAL

I don't know 

HOW much you 

KNOW about 

TEXAS

I don't have any real sense of what 

might be general knowledge 

I think THIS might be 

if I owned HELL

& TEXAS

I'd LIVE in HELL 

AND

RENT texas OUT 

for SOME reason 

I keep thinking about that 

& HELL freezing over

AND

the surreal nature of the country

right now 

&

it was GOOD to be

TOGETHER 

I guess METRO 

thinks

WEATHERPOCALYPSE

will be over

regular public transportation 

RESUMES

tomorrow 

❄️❄️❄️

I LOVE you VERY much sweetheart 💋 

it's COLD here❄️❄️❄️

I hope you are having a beautiful day 🫶

I wish I had something 

GENIUS

to say

BUT 

I'm still absorbing 

I guess 

I am looking forward to 

being TOGETHER 

❤️❤️❤️

goodnight sweetheart 💋 

I LOVE you 

MOONS

❄️❄️❄️🫶👾🫚🍀☕⚾☁️🫶❄️❄️❄️

🧲🧿💤

I don't 

enjoy

estrogen 

🤪🤣😆

I feel BETTER today 

I hope you are having a beautiful day sweetheart 💋💋💋 

goodnight sweetheart 💋 

I LOVE you VERY much 🫶

👾🫚🍀☕⚾☁️

🧲🧿💤

❤️

I was standing 

OUTSIDE 

in shirt sleeves

&

it was thirty five degrees

AREN'T you COLD 

the OUTSIDE of me IS

BUT 

it's not getting 

IN

ANYWAY

my skin just

DRANK

that STUFF 

and I was VERY happy with the results 

but, I mean, I wasn't buying it AGAIN 

because it was HELLA expensive 

it had been a SPLURGE 

BUT 

korean skincare

opened up

affordable growth factors 

I have had good luck with the ordinary 

& I got it as soon as I could 

I decided to pair it with

EUK 134

& I like the cocktail 

every bit as much as I thought I would 

the two together

are about the same price

BUT 

SO MUCH MORE 

&

such a nice TEXTURE 

I'm REALLY enjoying them

the ordinary 

is a canadian company 

I just fell asleep and deleted my next thing 

NENA OIL*

*I'm paraphrasing in an edit-y way

TEXTURE=that oil I was missing 

I'm SO happy 

it SMELLS different 

BUT 

surprisingly adjacent 

NENA is also a canadian company 

ALSO 

the neck cream

is MAGIC 

OH

I almost forgot 

there was this STUFF I wanted to TRY

it's by a company 

I have one of those BIASES against 

I was NOT going to buy it

BUT 

I get a free birthday gift 

with my membership 

& THAT was

ONE

of the choices, I mean, travel size

I REALLY like it

I MIGHT buy it

good

month

for skincare

OK

I guess NOW I'm GONNA stop stopping myself 

from telling you 

my EXCITING 

SKINCARE

NEWS

I FIGURE 

you have like ZERO interest

in skincare

BUT 

if I'm GONNA be positive 

I think 

SKINCARE 

is what we're 

WORKing

WITH 

I ran out of my egf serum

& the ordinary 

came out

with one

it is definitely not the same

it is possibly 

a stronger

concentration 

BUT 

I'm not sure 

they kinda just say

plant derived grow factors

rather than

LIKE 

sh-1 ogliopeptide

I FIRST got into

GROWTH factors 

I went to probably 

NIEMAN'S 

in the galleria 

which I didn't do frequently 

& I saw

REVIVE

which was a new product

this was maybe 

two thousand two 

I got this OIL FREE moisturizer 

the sales lady said it had

HIGHER percentage of 

GROWTH factors 

BUT 

OIL FREE 

FELT 

GOOD 

&

I went to a conference 

for work

it was

at keystone Colorado

THAT

was when I

UNDERSTOOD 

about 

DRY

(continuing)

my phone

says it's snowing 

BUT 

I can HEAR it

I looked out the door

& I'm calling it

MIXED

SLEET/freezing rain

the WIND is 

HOWLING 

pretty

good

BUT 

I haven't had ANY

interruptions 

in POWER 

or WATER

it has been 

a WEIRD 

DAY

I KNOW 

they say

don't look at your phone first thing 

BUT 

I usually do 

& it's a beautiful song

BUT 

I just saw

puppyfish

& I can't get past it

I KNOW it isn't 

puppyfish 

& you 

PROBABLY aren't trying to 

make me think about 

him

because 

WHY

I have no reason to think 

you're trying to make me 

UNTHINKABLY 

SAD

BUT 

I'm having trouble with that

which, I mean 

MAYBE 

is distracting me from the world 

BUT 

I'm not sure how talk-y 

I can make myself 

BE

I LOVE you VERY much sweetheart 🫶

goodnight sweetheart 💋 

I LOVE you 

MOONS

👾🫚🍀☕⚾☁️❄️❄️❄️

🧲🧿💤🫶

I DROVE my car 

WINTER ❄️ STORM❄️ WARNING 

I'm KINDA 

SCARED

🧲🧿

I'm FEELING like

it's hard to describe 

I'm getting 

CLOSE 

to another level

BUT 

I GOTTA 

NOT MISS

some

DOORWAY 

I FEEL like 

that DREAM was a GOOD

SIGN

I don't know exactly what it is trying to tell me 

BUT 

I FEEL like 

the MESSAGE has to be

SOMEWHERE in 

the you CAN do 

MORE than you THINK you can

I FELL once

years ago

DOWN some STAIRS

when I was living in the attic 

it wasn't that far to fall, I guess 

BUT 

I had just woken up

my LIFE 

FLASHED*

*I swear to God

& when I STARTED 

back AWARE 

I ran some kind of reboot protocol 

SYSTEMS check

POSSIBLY 

I LEFT my 

BODY

THAT 

didn't happen in the dream 

I was WALKING 

THEN

I was walking IN AIR

FREEWAY beneath 

ME 

& HIGH ENOUGH UP

the fall would 

PROBABLY 

KILL

ME

OK

I can't remember all of it

I was waiting for 

someone

in a car

THEN

ended up driving 

SOMEWHERE 

ALONE

there was a problem with the car

I got 

OUT 

I walked 

OFF the ROAD

I'm not sure exactly how this happened 

I FEEL like 

I didn't SEE that I was in 

DANGER of doing THIS 

BUT 

THEN

I was

FALLING 

& I THOUGHT 

well, THAT'S IT THEN

BUT 

even though I 

MUST

have been falling with my body facing the direction I was walking

I WAS FACING the

OVERPASS*

*or bridge or whatever it was with no railing at all 

AND

I GRABBED it

well, I CAN'T POSSIBLY HOLD my WEIGHT 

by my FINGERS 

BUT 

I DID

I WALKED myself 

from the middle to the side

HANGING 

& moving my hands

LIKE 

hanging hand crab walking 

which there is probably a term for

& it 

DIDN'T EVEN SEEM

DIFFICULT 

THEN

I climbed down the side of the freeway 

THIS 

SEEMED

AMAZING 

LIKE 

I couldn't believe it 

& I wasn't 

AWARE-- hey you're in a DREAM 

I'm pretty sure 

there continued to be MORE 

BUT 

THAT 

is all I remember 

goodnight sweetheart 💋 

I LOVE you VERY very much 🫶

👾🫚🍀☕⚾☁️

🧲🧿💤

KENT STATE 

was drawing a complete blank for her

she started asking questions 

about REAGAN 

I'm LIKE 

well

REAGAN 

he's really the beginning

of the REPUBLICAN 

coalition with

FUNDAMENTALIST christians

& I THINK 

some kind of white supremacist

DOG WHISTLE 

which I wasn't really 

AWARE of at the time 

BUT 

REMEMBER 

all those 

DIXIECRATS 

changed party

AND

of course 

he opened the WAY

for the CONSOLIDATION of POWER

with the TRICKLE DOWN

DEREGULATION 

UNION busting

all the MERGERmania

I feel like 

ALL of THAT 

the END of the FAIRNESS doctrine

AND

I'm not SURE 

EXACTLY WHEN 

MONEY = FREE SPEECH 

HAPPENED 

& I'm not sure how I missed it 

BUT 

THAT

MAYBE MORE than ANYTHING 

has led to

the OLIGARCHY situation 

we are dealing with 

NOW 

I feel like

that's ALL

REAGAN'S LEGACY

OH

I say

YES I SEE

what you MEAN now

the PROBLEM is that 

COMMUNISM

is a UTOPIAN philosophy 

it says

what gives a thing

VALUE 

is the LABOR that you put into it

SO

the products we are working to make

are given their value by 

OUR LABOR 

WHY

are we letting a few people get rich off our backs

what we SHOULD do 

is just do the whole labor thing

WITHOUT 

that oppressive FALSE STRUCTURE 

EVERYBODY does

WHAT they are GOOD at

& GETS whatever they NEED

the problem with 

UTOPIAN philosophy 

is

that it doesn't come with a governmental STRUCTURE 

& the governmental structure 

the communist countries 

have tended to get

have been

AUTHORITARIAN 

free speech oppressive 

full of fascist elements 

AND

I MEAN

we have had fascist elements as well

think about

KENT STATE & McCARTHYism

just off the top of my head

I don't think most of this makes it into the story-- cutting room floor-- below the surface of the iceberg

my mother

WOULD 

have been valedictorian

EXCEPT 

she took her last semester off

to take classes

in junior college 

SO

some guy ended up

BEATING her

by a few decimal points 

she ended up

salutatorian 

she has a double major degree

from RICE

in MATH & GERMAN

she was a computer programmer 

before they had programs 

for that

when it was punch cards

& ROOM sized computers

she's NOT stupid 

SO

when she asked me

WHAT IS FASCISM 

I'm LIKE 

wtf is she playing at

& I had JUST had

this SHOCKing bit of brain fog

where I couldn't remember 

the governor's name

I'm LIKE 

I'm having SHOCKing brain fog

I can't quite definitions

right this moment 

USE the GOOGLE 

PHONE's in

your HAND

BUT 

since she had her cataract surgery 

she can't SEE close up

without her glasses

which she didn't want to dig out of her purse

PLUS 

we've been TRYING 

to get this CONCEPT 

ASKING the RIGHT 

QUESTION 

WHAT I REALLY MEAN 

WHAT is the

DIFFERENCE 

REALLY 

between fascism and communism 

they don't SEEM different 

I slept a long time 

I just woke up

I guess I turned the 

NOON alarm

OFF

I dreamed about you

BUT 

it was

NOT 

what I would have wanted to dream

& I don't know how to

INTERPRET it

we were seeing a movie

in a big room

NOT really 

designed for that purpose 

I think it turned out to be 

at a college 

BUT 

I'm not one hundred percent sure 

so we're in this room

NO CHAIRS

we're sitting 

on the FLOOR 

they start

SHOWING the movie

BUT 

they won't 

TURN OFF the lights

SO

you can't see the 

MOVIE

very well

BUT 

EVERYONE ELSE

can SEE US just fine

&

in THIS particular movie experience 

I was really more interested in being in the

DARK with YOU 

AND 

THEN 

you were GONE 

&

I couldn't figure out 

WHERE you WENT 

or

WHY you LEFT

if you were okay, even

I went to a table

at the side of the room

& a Prof TOLD me 

SOMETHING 

I THINK it was 

IMPORTANT 

BUT 

I can't remember what it was 

they were like 

EVACUATING though

& I went to

CHECK in

with some guy running something 

to which I was attached

work or volunteer or something-wise

& he told me to go to some office 

& tell them SOMETHING 

I can't remember 

BUT 

it sounded like 

TERMINATION 

to me

AM I being FIRED 

I asked

OH NO he said

SORRY if I made it sound like that 

this period just needs to be

CLOSED OUT

differently

because of the 

EVACUATION 

I THINK 

I've got a 

STORY

BUT 

MAYBE not

I wanna THINK about it 

before I tell you

mom asks

WHAT is the DIFFERENCE 

REALLY 

between fascism & communism

goodnight sweetheart 💋 

I LOVE you VERY very MUCH 🫶

👾🫚🍀☕⚾☁️

edited

this is a photograph of one of my favorite fountains in Houston 

THIS 

will come as a 

COMPLETE SHOCK

BUT 

HORMONES 

is what does it

first thing said

PREGNANCY 

and I'm 

LIKE 

NOPE 

THAT is 

NOT it

TRY AGAIN 

🤪😂😅😆🤣😹🤪

view from waiting room 

I was just at lunch

I might be having something 

where my senses 

are idk HIGHTENED

there was a high pitched noise

I felt like it was 

gonna make my head explode

I said something about it 

BUT 

they were like 

NOPE 

don't hear anything 

I went to the

bathroom 

& I almost couldn't hear the 

NOISE 

BUT 

the SMELL of the 

air freshener 

which they probably always have 

BUT 

which I've 

NEVER

noticed before 

almost made me 

HURL

SERIOUSLY 

I don't NEED

NEW sh*t

I'm fixin to 

LOOK it UP

taking mom

to the doctor today 

I hope you have a beautiful day sweetheart 💋

I haven't done that

seeing things

in the clouds 

for a while

it was a favorite thing to do when I was a kid

I LOVE you VERY much sweetheart 🫶

☁️☁️☁️☕☁️☁️☁️⚾☁️☁️☁️🐑🐑🐑

my brother 

sent me a photo

of an adult bookstore sign

LIKE 

he slipped into my

DMs

& sent me a picture of an adult bookstore 

I'm LIKE 

thinking to myself 

I've been low key

AVOIDING 

his posts

telling myself 

he's NOT directing

WEIRD sh*t

AT YOU

you're just taking it personally 

NOW 

he posts

MORE pictures 

of the same adult bookstore 

WITH CONTEXT

& 

I WONDER 

WHY

NO CONTEXT for me

was I supposed to recognize dad's style

in the adult bookstore sign?!

goodnight sweetheart 💋 

I LOVE you VERY much 🫶

👾🫚🍀

I did that

NO DAMAGE 

FACE thing

UNTIL

I was KINDA damage-y

& THEN I KINDA 

FELL OFF

the WAGON 

I've had GYPSY 

by Fleetwood Mac 

in my HEAD 

& I can't 

THINK

of ANY CONTEXT for that

I've got these

PANTS

I had KINDA

FORGOTTEN I had

found em at the bottom of the drawer

they are narrow and tapered and the look

SIMILAR to leggings 

when I wore them before 

I used a shaper 

BUT 

I don't remember WHY I decided to do THAT 

I tried em on

& I like the way they look

SO

I'm LOOKING at MYSELF 

and saying 

YOU 

ARE SURE that you are FATTER now

BUT 

YOU LIKE the WAY you LOOK 

NOW 

without a SHAPER

I don't know 

HOW 

to make THAT 

MAKE SENSE 

yeah

today has been

WEIRD

I feel like

I maybe 

OVERdid the

LAYERS

I've had a whole conversation 

in small bite-y bits

why I could 

think

what I THINK 

politically

I guess is the best way to put it

& HOW

NOT in a cult my thinking is

& am I just completely 

CHECKED out

of the artist group EMOTIONALLY 

if I'm not

WRESTLING the

email list from her and getting it DONE 

I don't THINK it does

BUT 

ALSO

I was going to say

these old broads

BUT 

I don't LIKE 

THAT vibe for THIS 

maybe I told you ALREADY 

and it's not that interesting 

it's just

TWO

of them

my MOM 

was well behaved 

I took her a bag of popcorn 

told her the sodium

some grapes

and 

a chocolate truffle*

*helene throws a meeting

& she HAD all the good 

STUFF 

PLUS

she got to

BASK

in being WAITED on

BUT 

LIKE 

nothing BAD happened 

I just guess it turns out

I think 

one of them

is KINDA a 

bitch

& I guess I needed to

PROCESS

ALL this STUFF 

under the influence 

of some 

UNKNOWN 

cocktail of hormones 

david lynch 

andras

gets ANOTHER 

PUNCH in the FACE 

from me

VIRTUALLY 

I'm still 

feeling kinda bad

I hope you are having a beautiful day 💋

I just got done with therapy 

I'm in the bathroom 

I don't think I made much sense 

last night

I also have

BREAKOUTS 

& the old woman energy 

was in the meeting 

I was NOT 

in a be amongst the humans

kind of mood 

I hung on

BUT 

I wasn't friendly and effervescent 

BUT 

there was a certain amount of 

DEAR GOD 

I'm old too

I mean 

I don't FEEL 

EMOTIONALLY old

OR 

INTERESTS old

SO

I guess 

there was some 

CONSIDERATION of my own

MORTALITY 

BUT 

MOSTLY 

I was just like

F*CK

I don't enjoy old women 

as a group 

any more than I enjoyed young women 

as a group 

the one I used to work for

who I was working to

get her a day off 

MOSTLY 

she's 

in charge of the artists group now

& she's LIKE 

none of the guest list emails have been entered 

Bob sent out emails

BALL DROPPED 

well the thing isn't happening for a couple weeks 

the last three open studios

takes it back to BEFORE PORTLAND 

I'm sure it wouldn't take

MORE than 

an hour or two

to enter ALL of it

JUST DO IT

there's plenty of TIME 

maybe it makes a difference 

MAYBE not

BUT 

why PLAN to FAIL 

I seem not to have drawn any

CHORES

& I thought about

VOLUNTEERing to do it

BUT 

the IDEA of having to 

coordinate

a computer thing 

with her

I don't care enough to deal with THAT 

I really hope

my judging thoughts were

NOT visible 

I get TWO feedbacks typically

I can read everything on your face

I can't read anything on your face

& I'm NOT sure 

if that's 

SITUATIONAL

or WHAT

HORMONES are 

WEIRD 

if they don't resolve

into BLOOD 

WTF is even going on 

I hope you are having a beautiful day sweetheart 🫶 I LOVE you VERY much 🫶

mystery solved 

with the 

GUT

distress 

HORMONES 

old woman energy 

HIT badly

I had lots of processing 

SORRY 

I didn't talk

goodnight sweetheart 💋 

I LOVE you VERY very MUCH 🫶

👾🫚🍀

this photographs nicer than it will look (probably) the reflection will be less (although there is silver paint)

so far

mom

studio 

artist meeting 

it's COLD

& rainy

🫶

I gotta go to sleep 

I LOVE you VERY very MUCH 

goodnight sweetheart 💋 

🫶🧠☕☁️⚾

👾🫚🍀

I was

GONNA 

WRITE 

something 

BUT 

I have been

MISTing 

my MIND 

OR

should I have gone with 

TENDRILing

I was SEEing it

as KINDA 

a ghostly sort of MIST

that KINDA tendrils 

at the edges

BUT 

it doesn't seem to

YIELD 

it's REALLY GOOD 

for ME though

I FEEL like 

that TIME when I'm THINKING that way

HEELS my BRAIN 

when I'm SAYING SOMETHING 

it CONSTRUCTS

a REALITY 

when I'm doing the WHATSIT

I can sorta

FLOAT

in the place 

where all the perspectives 

INTER-MINGLE

THAT 

MAKES it SOUND 

like a multiple 

thing

BUT 

I don't specifically mean

INTERNAL

it's LIKE 

I don't KNOW what it's like 

I LOVE YOU 

there is NO BRAIN like

🧠🧠🧠

I didn't get enough sleep 

& my guts

FEEL 

like I don't want to leave the house 

SO

I texted my therapist 

& he's like

YEAH 

my new car battery is dead

let's do thursday 

SO

I went back to bed

BUT 

I'm UP

having COFFEE ☕ ☁️ ☁️ ☁️ 

NOW 

I LOVE you VERY much sweetheart 🫶 

F*CK

I gotta go to sleep 

I LOVE you 

VERY much 

🫶💋👾🫚⚾

AND

I am 

OK with an *

BUT I think the

HALL of FAME is

WELL 

they are

CONSISTENT 

BUT 

it's KINDA 

sh*tty to say the least

BUT 

I THINK it's 

I MEAN

it's not like

they used AI to 

MAKE it LOOK like they did those things 

the F*CKING DID THEM

WITH the BODIES 

that they

RISKED

to DO

them

it's all like

they're CHEATING 

I MEAN 

MAYBE 

BUT 

MAYBE an * could take care of that

BECAUSE 

is it more

UNFAIR to the other players

than TY COBB's 

CLEATS

SOVIET 

OLYMPIC athletes

in my childhood 

I just don't 

THINK 

THAT'S CONSISTENT 

with a world

where professional athletes

compete in the 

OLYMPICS

THAT 

SEEMS to me

to SAY

WE VALUE 

EXCELLENCE

OVER

LEVEL PLAYING FIELD

SO

THEN

HOW 

are STEROIDS

CHEATING 

HA

AND

the FOULing BACK

I GET

that it is

FIGHTING 

to get a piece of it

BUT 

it's ALSO 

a particular skill

which WEARS out

the pitcher's 

ARM

& does NOT make 

the GAME 

BETTER 

in any

WAY

imo

😁

AND

I don't specifically know 

how

I feel about 

the pitch clock

BUT 

I HATE 

the designated 

HITTER 

& EVERYBODY 

PLAYS

EVERYBODY 

I KINDA 

HATE too

AND

I'll TELL you WHY

I thought you'd 

NEVER ask

FOR ME

the FACT of the

PITCHER at bat is a MUCH 

MORE 

real world

strategic

HUMAN

statistically interesting 

SKILL focused 

GAME

the designated hitter

is like a CHEAT CODE on a computer game

it is more

FUN

if 

you don't 

CARE 

about the

SKILL

I SEE the VALUE of 

EVERYBODY 

PLAYS

EVERYBODY 

I SEE it

BUT 

DEPTH

is BETTER 

RIVALRIES 

are SWEET and 

ya play em more

you KNOW 

THOSE teams TOO 

I GET that there's 

MORE exposure 

BUT 

it's a QUANTITY 

vs. QUALITY 

issue

the PITCH clock 

I cannot HEAR the WORDS

without I see

my past 

FRUSTRATION

with 

american league 

FOULing BACK

&

THAT

ISN'T the PITCH clock

BUT 

MAYBE 

it's NOT THAT different 

SO

I'm NOT SURE 

philosophically

&

I haven't been to a game

to NOTICE if

it FEELS different 

THAT

was FUN 

I am ALSO 

ALWAYS interested 

at the 

QUESTIONS

people ask

BUT 

of course, sometimes 

they know things differently 

THAT 

isn't CLEAR at all

if you heard or saw

OR whatever, ya know 

THE THING 

in the

original CONTEXT 

MAYBE 

it wouldn't occur to you to ask

a particular question 

because 

you think you know, ya know 

& SO when somebody 

ASKS 

sometimes it SEEMS somewhat

OUT of CONTEXT

BUT 

THEN 

somebody asks

from a DIFFERENT CONTEXT 

& THEN

MAYBE it isn't 

MAYBE ya don't know, ya know

BUT 

THEN 

it's NICE when the

ANSWER 

VINDICATES

I'm listening now 

I'm about half way

I ❤️ the 

IDEA

of 

BASEBALL 

& secular 

BASEBALL 

is KINDA

it sounds 

WEIRD 

to say a religion 

or HOLY

BUT 

BASEBALL v. SECULAR 

seems right 

YOU 

SOUND

GREAT 

❤️

when she was telling me 

she needed to go to

URGENT care 

she was like

it REALLY 

HURTS

when we were at the urgent care 

talking to the doctor and nurses

it didn't REALLY hurt

it was

UNCOMFORTABLE 

IRRITATING 

NOW 

I'm not trying to say

we should not have gone

I'm saying 

I NEVER 

KNOW what is TRUE 

with her

she must not want pain killers

because that was

WHY

they were asking 

BUT I have no sense that she understands that 

they took 

BLOOD 

& did a chest x-ray 

because her blood pressure was high

& she was retaining fluids

SO

MAYBE 

she WANTED to go to the hospital 

letting them do all THAT extra

BUT 

she was putting weight on her arm

while they were trying to take her pressure 

I THINK that

messed up the result 

because it was 

NORMAL 

when they took it again at the end

AND

ALL her tests came back

NOT like NORMAL 

BUT 

consistent with her normal results 

this URGENT care 

is the same system as 

her other medical

so they have

her charts

at hand

I have

SOMETHING 

going on 

with

my

GUTS

MIGHT be hormonal 

might just be

I ate cheese

quite a bit

for a few weeks 

&

then STOPPED again

OR

ONE of the DETOX THINGS 

has CHANGED what it's doing 

I was NOT super happy to leave the house

BUT 

I just ate

& it is making 

SCARY noises 

it WAS a SHINGLES outbreak 

I was ASKING 

QUESTIONS

she was supposed to have

an IN PERSON 

training today and her trainer is a registered 

NURSE, as well as being a trainer 

I'm LIKE 

did you HAVE training?

did you show it to her?

BECAUSE 

she was giving me this

gobble-di-goop

which included her morning hygiene 

her sleeping patterns 

&

how I needed to be

IMMEDIATELY 

AVAILABLE 

WHAT apparently happened 

after tooth pulling

when she bothered to run a wash cloth

over her stinky bits

IMMEDIATELY 

BEFORE 

her training 

she went

EWWW

she SHOWED her trainer

WHO SAID 

NO WAY 

you NEED to get THAT 

LOOKED at

have YOUR DAUGHTER 

take you to see a

DOCTOR 

she NOTICED it today 

BUT 

WHO KNOWS 

I have a hard time guessing which is the entrance 

from WEST PARK 

SO

I went down the 

FEEDER

& when we finally SEEMED to be there 

I'm LIKE 

which street is this

CROSSING

EDLOE

she says with all the conviction of

someone who ACTUALLY 

READ the sign

BUT 

as I drove under the lights 

I LOOKED 

BUFFALO SPEEDWAY

you didn't LOOK 

you just KINDA THOUGHT it was 

EDLOE 

& you knew I was trying to 

KNOW exactly 

BUT 

you said it like you were sure

YES

BUT 

when there were

QUESTIONS

about whether she had gone to get the

VACCINE 

which I am

SURE 

she DIDN'T 

because I didn't drive her

& MORE importantly 

I didn't hear

ANY

B*TCHing about 

POOR SERVICE 

or incompetence 

OR

a NEED

to be PRAISED for having done it at all

she told the doctor 

she was PRETTY SURE she had 

gotten the FIRST one 

BUT 

I'm PRETTY SURE 

when she says 

PRETTY SURE 

it's LIKE 

SIR