ok, here's a start: SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE A HUMAN TIME MACHINE

the other day i dreamt that i was moving to a small town, and before i had even found a place to live or anything i bought a refrigerator and washing machine online from a local vintage shop.  they were pretty cool but i realized that it was an impulse purchase that was ill-advised.  i went to the store and asked about exchanging them.  the owner of the shop was great.  we hit it off right away.  she invited me to stay with her and her husband while i was in town and offered to help me find a place.

she was, in addition to being a shop owner, a quilter--  or a sewing artist, maybe.  the things she made weren't exactly quilts.  they were more like pictures you might hang on the wall, but sewed.  tapestry?

anyway, there was this one i was obsessed with. i was having lucid dreaming telling me i had to remember the details to tell you.  after i woke up though, they didn't seem interesting or important.  so i didn't tell you.  until now.

it was a good sized piece, maybe three by four, and it had a smiling, waving, cartoon fish.  i could not look away.  i was gonna buy this thing.  there was a dr. seuss one fish two fish red fish blue fish quality about it, but the smile was slightly demented.  it reminded me of bloo from foster's home for imaginary friends--  that's not right, it didn't remind me of it, i'm just now putting that together, hmmm.

ok, well.  and underneath, like a slogan, i really felt in the dream that this was a banner from some company function: do you need more friends.  and then vpr.  and i was so into figuring out what that stood for--  i asked her husband, he didn't know, but i was asking her as soon as she got back--  vice presidential retreat, maybe.

see, it doesn't make much sense.  and i thought it was so important that i've embedded it into my brain well enough to remember almost a week later.  also i can't usually read in dreams.  i mean i can see signs and know what they say, but actually reading is not a dream thing.  like i'm pretty sure nobody really can read in dreams, as a rule.  so the vpr is a sign that i'm supposed to notice--  like the yellow school.  and, in fairness, it might be vrp.  i transpose things quite readily.  my father was dyslexic and my brother was/is too, although he also says he's eidetic--  that combination doesn't seem right to me, but whatever.

i don't.  need more friends.  i don't really have friends.  i mean, maybe i do.  i don't really like to go places and do things with other people.  i told my tarot teacher years ago.  other people rarely contribute much to me.  and i've gotten worse.  when i have conversations with others, which i don't seem to be able to escape, i often feel like i don't want to be talking and they aren't really interested--  and why do i have to go through the motions of this.  i mean, there's bita.  i could happily talk to her for five hours.  but probably not very frequently.  but mostly, strong hermit vibes.