and when i woke up
i both had a headache
and
felt the need to cry, lightly
not hard body wracking sobs
just kind of water leaking from the eyes
but
it has continued throughout the day today
i don't know
somehow
my spelling all that out
made me feel a loss
i don't know
if i didn't want you to know that stuff
or
if i wanted you to know it
and now
admitting to myself
that you probably don't
somehow means
that, again, no one understands me
or
if it's just the poetry is diminished for me, somehow
but
i do feel
that it's somehow related to what i wrote yesterday
i just feel, sad
i'm going to bed
i thought about not telling you
but
i don't know whether that's the right or wrong thing to do now
and
i'm crying again, fuck
