i asked for help with my story in my dreams, i don't think i got it, but i got this weirdness

you and i were together
not exactly together together
more like having a vacation together
but it wasn't really a vacation because
you had some really big and exciting work
some project you were working on
there were flip-charts at strategic locations
around the room
or maybe suite is a better way to put it
but it is entirely possible
that it was on a boat

and
i wondered about that
because i have always been sorry
that i couldn't meet you on that cruise
around the statue of liberty
but i couldn't get away

also
i think it unlikely that you actually
use a lot of flip charts in your work
unless maybe you are giving a presentation
i mean, do you do your idea work on flip charts
but this was a really strange and different kind of project
so maybe it was necessary to keep
the different sections separate
and yet
still
instantly visible
for cross reference

the bed
was out on a deck
it didn't seem to be visible to anyone else
but it was definitely out in the air
and the stars would be visible at night

sadly
in the dream i never got to actually
sleep with you
i guess that wasn't information my subconscious mind thought i needed help with
but i did have some closer contact
and this is maybe one of my new favorite things
it was like hugging
but with kind of a torquing action
so it became

ok
i could say intimate
that that's kind of obvious and doesn't covey anything
and i could say sexual but that isn't quite right either
it was less about sex and more about comfort
it was about physical need
and emotional need
and being physically together, finally
but in the [god forgive me i'm gonna say head space]
where we were not making love
we were doing things together
getting things accomplished
and not being distracted from that
not wanted to be distracted from that at that moment
but still wanting some form of intense closeness
does that make any sense

also
and this is maybe the weirdest part
the part i'm not sure how to interpret
[actually there are a couple of add on sections to the dream that are really weirder but i haven't decided at this point if i'm even mentioning them]

you had a daughter who was a tween
and she was with us, visiting

and i started off with the kind of thing
that anyone who comes from a fucked up broken home
slash blended family whatever would know
was the right foot to start out on:

i know you might have reasons not to like me
to resent me and my presence here
of course i want you to like me
and i want to like you
but i'm not gonna be so insensitive to your situation
to expect you to give me the benefit of the doubt
just feel how you feel
and we'll see where it goes

she had this bottle
it looked like a small coke bottle
smaller than the smallest actual coke
like maybe three or four inches high
it had liquid in it
but it wasn't coke
so it just had a light green kind of luminous quality
with these lightning-like shapes coming down from the top
it was a fascinating little bottle
and i'd be all tempted to interpret it as a symbol
except that she could zap herself into it
like
i don't know, a genie or something
and she had her own satellite radio inside
it was like having a room that no one could walk in on you
only, apparently, you didn't know about it

so at first you thought that i
had somehow magic-ed her into a bottle
or taught her how to do it
or encouraged her in some way
and i'm all like:
no it freaked me out just as much as it did you
i have no magic shutting-people-up-in-bottles skills

and i'm not sure if she could get out on her own
or if you had to call her out or what
maybe it was a test for you
anyway
i wasn't sure if it was good or bad
but i didn't think she was in danger either way

i just kinda kept looking longingly at the bed


ok
since i mentioned them
i'll try to describe the other sections

in one
i was staying in a different part of the hotel
or whatever
i was trying to get work with this woman
because i needed something to do while you were working
and i'm not sure what it was i was going to be doing
but i had a room i was going to be working in
and i was concerned about her getting a key
i went into the bathroom
because i really really had to pee
probably because i really did have to pee
but when i went into the bathroom
the toilet and the tub were both filled
with large river rocks

in another one
i was working with someone
i'm not sure exactly
some sort of event planning maybe
and someone walked up wanting to buy flowers
and we didn't sell flowers
but we were working with a big bunch of flowers
because we were making arrangements for something
and i made some comment about the person asking for flowers
being all confused about us having a whole lot of flowers
and yet not having any for sale
and my friend told me
that i was something
i just can't remember the word she used
and i said:
when i think of that i think of spoiled little rich girls
and i've definitely not been a spoiled little rich girl
and she said:
really
i don't think of spoiled little rich girls at all
but it had not been a good thing she had called me
i feel confident
and i don't know if my subconscious mind
is trying to say i'm bad in some way or what
maybe i'm saying i'm selfish or something
what would spoiled little rich girls be
unaware of the importance of anyone else
disdainful
snobbish
i've got my disdainful and snobbish moments
you've seen them i'm sure
but i don't think they are overwhelming personality traits
so i only see one place i could be going with that


the third
i know i said it was a couple
but i thought of some more i had forgotten
i was at the hospital
i think my father was there but i'm not sure
and i went to the bathroom
and it was just this one big room
no stalls
and the way it worked was
you couldn't sit anywhere
you just had to hover
of this trough-like thing
and i am not very good at hovering
i know there are some girls who never do anything else
but i'm not one of those
so i ended up getting pee on myself
and there was more
but i don't remember it


then there was a fourth part

you were being cute
and you really were really very cute
where you were kissing me
like we were an old married couple
so it was this sort of
dramatically puckered smack
but there was this whole
facial expression
and stuff
that went with it
and it was just funny
but at the same time
it was sweet, ya know
not like mocking funny
not like sarcastic commentary funny
i'm not sure how to explain it


anyway
weird, huh