I slept in today

Had this whole list of things I was going to do

But then I just decided I didn't want to do any of it

And when I finally got up

I had this sense

Like nothing was too bad

But I had all these little things

And I just had this sense that any one of them could blow at any minute

I thought that was awfully overly dramatic

And then

I had this idea

I was going to start writing it

She went to the window and looked out

Today what she saw looked like the surface of the moon

Blah blah

And this idea

About being completely enclosed in nacre

And the inability to move that would cause

But the beautiful glistening

But then I didn't write any of that

I watched videos

About book recommendations for Japanese literature

And here are the 60 books I read in my English major program

And my 50 favorite books

And I don't know what all else

Also I'm not sure how

But I've gotten pulled into watching some show

It's kind of dumb

And it's kind of a soap opera

But I don't seem to be able to look away

It's called Virgin River

And it said in some little town

Close to eureka

And eureka had crossed my consciousness at some point and I was like I know something about eureka what do I know about eureka well it's Northern California and it's close to the Oregon border

But the temperature is awesome

It's like maritime temperature

And there's a very small margin between what the average temperature is in the hottest month and the cold this month like the average temperature in the summer is 68 maybe and the average temperature in the winter is 58 or something like that The hottest temperature recorded is 87 degrees and the coldest temperature recorded is 20°, and I was like oh my god it's sweater weather all year although you know you'd wear a coat if it was 20

Course I guess you probably have to worry about forest fires and state income tax and all sorts of other California things

I think when I started watching it I thought it was going to be more like northern exposure

But it's not much like that

The characters that are the predominant love interest are both having like dueling flashbacks because they have all this personal trauma

But they're really making the flashbacks

Draw out the information more than is necessary because they're trying to build the tension but it's just not that dramatic of a story

And so I keep going

Really?!

And pretty much

When I'm guessing what's going to happen

I'm guessing right

Which is usually what happens with TV shows

But there was something that I watched recently that I was like oh man I didn't see that coming at all

So I knew it was really well written but I can't remember what that was

Anyway I'm not really recommending it

But the sweeping shots of landscape with mountains and river are really nice

And there are log cabins and lodges and

The doctor's house is amazing

So I think I must be watching it more for the visuals

Some of the people who are talking about Japanese literature

When they get to murakami

They don't like the magic realism

And then I'm like okay well now I don't really want to know anything else you have to say

Because if what you like is his more realist stuff that isn't full of magic realism

Then I don't want your recommendations

Because what I want

Is like magical realism

Surrealism

Metaphor

I don't need

Somebody talking about their real life in realistic terms that's just not that interesting

The thing is is that for me

there are a lot of things that I'm just talking about my life the way it is and they seem like magic realism but they're not

Like all that stuff with Mr sluggo in the night kitchen

That was not magic realism

I think that my view of the world

The way I see things

Is weird

Anyway I needed to go to sleep a while ago

Because I'm getting up earlier

My mother has a doctor's appointment before she goes to the studio so I'm driving myself so I thought I would use the opportunity to go in earlier

Because she's had all this stuff for me to do and I haven't really gotten to paint

But at this point I don't think I'm going to be able to get up at 6:30

I really thought I was starting my period

I had blood tinge

I had cramps

But it hasn't started so probably it's not going to

The sleeping

The being awake

The relationship with my body

I just haven't got a handle on any of the stuff yet

But I've got an area where I can set up my easel if I want to paint with acrylics or oils again although oil isn't really practical in an apartment

And I'm pretty close to having my well

Not super close I've still got to find homes for things that are on the table but I'm pretty close to having the table where I can do larger watercolors

So

Then the fact that she doesn't really want me to paint or maybe she wants me to paint but she just wants me to do all these other things but I don't know

It's weird

She's weird

I'm weird

I'm going to go to sleep now though

Goodnight sweetheart I love you very much 💋