this is somehow fundamentally who i am

i bought some spoons

now
i should never buy anything
i don't make enough money to buy anything, ever
but
i do
i've been wanting a present
really badly
recently
and
i've been shopping and shopping for it

i thought i wanted a vintage fountain pen
and i found a bunch of them i like
but
i figured
this present couldn't afford to be over $80
including shipping
and
i couldn't find one i liked for that amount

and
the cheap ones i bought are fine
i enjoy the bobby nib pens
actually more than the other cheap pen from amazon
and that made me realize that
it's how the pen writes that i enjoy
not so much how it looks
so
i should probably go to a pen show
not try to buy things on ebay

then
i thought i wanted a new leather notebook
and i found some i liked
but
again
too expensive
and really
i don't want them to be soft and floppy
i like the traveler's notebook i have better
i just wish it had more pockets and stuff
so
i'm sticking with that
but
i have this craving for craftsmanship
and beauty
and then
i saw the tasmanian spoons

beautiful, right

but then i started looking at them
and thinking about their utility
i know
i mean
exactly
what kind of spoon i need for cooking
and none of those spoons is the right shape
so
i was like well yeah, that's pretty close
but
with the shipping
one spoon
was gonna be just slightly over $80
and
i balked

then
in one of the pictures i liked
they referenced another spoon-maker
because apparently there is a whole SPOON community
and i looked him up
and there, staring back at me
was like my DREAM SPOON
long graceful handle
squared off
beautiful rich brown
simple clean lines
half the price

and then i was like
well, hey, ya know what i also need--  a ladle
i have like three ladles
one metal and two plastic-y ones
and i hate them all
so
maybe i don't need one
but whatever

so i look around
and i find a beautiful beautiful ladle
it may not work perfectly
it's hard for me to tell the exact angles from the picture
but
it's beautiful, regardless

so then i'm all like
how much is shipping gonna be
and i put my zip code in
and free

now
they don't have that tasmanian mojo
and i'm sorry about that
i kinda wanted that
but
they have got a great story
and they are
like
exactly my style of thing, ya know

and then i saw
his kid is makin spoons too
and i'm like
i want a kid apprentice spoon!

so i had to narrow it down
there was a beautiful rice paddle type spoon
or a graceful oval cooking spoon
or some jaunty chop sticks
or
the one i ended up getting
which was a sort of "utility player" spoon

it's kinda small for a cooking spoon
but you could
if it was something thin or small
it's alittle big for an eating spoon
unless maybe soup
but
it would be great for getting things out of jars
olives
sliced pickles or jalapenos
condiments
jam
or
i mean
honey or sugar
or tasting spoon
so
i think it'll be fun

so
i didn't need any of it really
but
emotionally
i did need it
and

i got three spoons for less than the price of one