that attraction thing

so
awhile back i was gonna write something about this

i was working on a wednesday, which i don't usually do
wednesday is when the beer comes in, mostly

a friend of mine at work
she thinks one of the delivery guys is hot
apparently that's the consensus

she's all telling me to ask him this or that
and he will lean over me to look at the manifest

no thanks
i'm really not interested, i say
he might be good looking
i don't know

karl was saying something the other day about people that
when you look at them they make you quiver

i can't remember the last time anyone had that effect on me, i say

really, he answers, incredulously

i was recently attracted to someone, i say
let me describe that situation for you


we got our first delivery from a new beer company
the delivery guy came in to tell me he was there
and we walked to the hallway where i take deliveries, together
what i immediately noticed
was he kinda stunk
but it was hot out, and whatever

we get to the hallway
and he introduces himself, properly
he is the founder and ceo of the company

and they've got you out making deliveries, i ask

i like to meet with the new accounts, he says
i like to make sure we have the proper procedures
and i like to meet the people

ok
i am attracted to this guy


so you're attracted to power?  karl asks

no, i say
it didn't have anything to do with power
it had to do with a shared value
work ethic or responsibility
whatever
that going out yourself to make deliveries, who does that

i talked to him about beer
and that was really nice, too
and he shook my hand like four times
and i'm a sucker for a good handshake

i went home and googled him
he went to rice
he has an mba from harvard

he's not real tall
and he has a beard, which wouldn't be my preference
but he seems very real, ya know

he is the first person, in recent memory
that i actually thought:
i would like to know him better

but
even if i wasn't already all tied up in you
i would not be getting involved with him

i'm at least ten years older than him

and
there's a big difference
between how i was attracted to him vs. how i was attracted to you

with him
i would be interested in dating him

with you
i felt like i already knew you
that you were my destiny, somehow

so
when i was a twelve year old girl reading romances
i would have been screaming at the heroine
to go for the practical stable one
and
i'm afraid
railing against
you

because i didn't understand romance at all, then