joshua tree national park may 2014 (unfinished)

the water at 29 palms inn was deep desert well water
delicious right out of the tap
i couldn't get enough of it
i had trouble choosing the place to stay and this was the right decision
always trust your gut

i almost stayed at the joshua tree inn
but it seemed too funky
and the haunting angle was sub optimal
i can't recall ever using that word before
but the last few days
it was like my new word or something

the harmony inn
not only had a great name going for it
it was where U2 stayed when they wrote joshua tree
[which, i mean, they must have stayed multiple places]
but it wasn't maybe funky enough

there was the pioneer town
which seemed like a cool concept
but the pictures of the rooms online
looked like country threw up
it reminded me of every arts and crafts show we ever did

there was an america's best value inn in yucca valley
that had a room that looked like a cave
which seemed kinda neat
but also kitchy
with spa tub
but
i was going to the desert
it seemed wrong to subvert that theme
besides
yucca valley wasn't funky enough

what i wanted was someplace that felt natural
the video pretty much sold me
but the room photos pretty much sealed it
she should have mentioned the tap water

anyway
enough about the room
it was located actually conjoining the park, i think
at the oasis of mara
which sounded like something i'd want to do but i did not

i went instead to explore the town
and though the health food & beer and wine store in joshua tree
was hysterical and appealing
it was the used book store raven's bookshop in 29 palms
that pulled me in
it's funny that i always find book shops on vacation

i bought a tiny little emerson
[selections from self-reliance, friendship, compensation
and other great writings]
a book of kenneth rosen poems
[new to rosen
the cover called
a quick flip through brought some raw
but at the same time
borderline pretentiously academic
images
and the forward note included the word psychopomp]
south america of the poets
discussing the culture and politics of the countries
through the poet as metaphor
[i think that made sense]
ink line drawing illustration
cooking fish and shellfish
with pretty blue pencil illustrations
of fish butchery
but not one picture of a completed dish
and
seven arrows
[which i don't think i ever owned
but meant to buy many times]

insert section/s later

so
the second day
i went to the park
at the visitor center
the ranger was asking a young couple
[late twenties early thirties]
if they wanted to camp in the park
the woman struggled to conceal shock
no, they both almost shuddered, in unison
he was circling their map
speaking with the kind of practiced patter that the brain won't absorb well
i tried to listen

if i just have a day or two, i asked
where should i go to just, ya know, get a general feeling for the park

he directed me to the inner loop
about thirty five miles starting in 29 palms [there]
ending in joshua tree
circling the same things as he talked to me that he had for them
i was dubious

i drove to the entry/pay
the woman told me my fifteen dollar pass was good for 7 days
[i think that's kind of genius
i mean when you think about it
that's like a movie, almost
but
i could see people grumbling
i'm just driving through it, i don't want to pay so much
after all i won't really be using the place at all
to which they can smile and say
yes, but it's good for a full week

ok, i said to her
i have the world's worst map skills
is there any way i can get lost

if you stay on the main road it will take you out at joshua tree

i have enough gas for about 200 miles
there is no way that isn't enough, right

well, you won't get good mileage driving that slow
would be at the low range
but it's thirty-eight miles
so, i'd say, yeah, you should be good

awesome, thanks



i would like to tell you that i was in a convertible just like the one in fear and loathing
that at thirty-five miles an hour my hair was whipping behind me
like it did when my father had the convertible tomato red beetle
where i might have stood up or who knows what
because seat belts what are those
but i cannot tell you that

as a child, even
go outside and play
was not such a good idea
about two hours playing outside in the summer
and i'd be vomiting with mild heat stroke
i got a bad sunburn, every year

i am using sun damage reversal products
[no whammies on the skin cancer, please]
i coated my exposed body with spf fifty
my face i finally found the perfect bb cream
it's untinted
you may laugh
i'm pale

in college
i was at a tracy chapman show
great local small venue
and she had a band-aid on her arm
she was talking about what bullshit it was that that was flesh colored
it was like a revelation to me
i had always thought it was weird that they were brown

anyway
sunscreen, check
windows up, check
air conditioner cranked, check
water at the ready, check

my chemical romance cover of desolation row, playing
on repeat

i was driving
but i was trying not to zone out to numbness
i was
i don't know what i was

a car turned off on a road to the left

should i turn there

is there any way you could call that staying on the main road

no

so there you go

ok, not turning


i got to the first really good stand of joshua trees
and i was thinking that i really wanted to get out, take some pictures
but
it was so so bright

when, suddenly it wasn't

well, it was
but it wasn't
it took me a few seconds to figure out what was going on

there was a cloud, immediately above me, blocking the sun

wait, what
there's a black cloud over my head

but it wasn't really
it was beautiful

that's gotta be a sign

i got out of the car
i took pictures

i started to cry
just alligator tears, my family used to call them
rising up and dropping over
running down my face
i guess
without the drama they weren't real enough

you've always been so good to me, i said
looking up at the cloud again



so, if we aren't using the map, how will we decide when to get out and walk around

how do you think

right, just checking

i checked my arms for sunburn
which was pointless anyway
my sunburn never develops till hours after the fact
by the time i'm pink
it'll be like a third degree burn
blistering
chills

why is it, you think, that you love the desert so much

don't know
don't think i could explain it with words

didn't want to listen to desolation row
searched around on the tracks
don't wanna change discs
just like a woman
too whiny, self-involved
dylan's dream
bryan ferry, no
man of peace
not quite
times they are a changin
flogging molly, ok

drink some water
start driving again

the road
i could say it twisted and turned
but
i think meandered would be more accurate
the sun was high in the sky
everything was bright, and beautiful, and waiting

here

no

how about here

no

wait, is that one even on the map

ooooo hall of horrors

seriously

yes, seriously
look at how pretty that is
doesn't look very horrifying to me
why do you think they call it that

insert section/s


normally when i go on a road trip i put more thought into music
i never really listen to cds anymore except when i'm on the road
and i keep the road cds in a basket
but
this time
i didn't grab the music till i was walking out the door
and the only one that was in the basket was
chimes of freedom
it's three discs
and it's pretty good
i did some road trip to california where that was pretty much all i played anyway
so i thought, what the hell, ya know

the last time
the songs that stuck out to me the most
that i played over and over on repeat were
you're gonna make me lonesome when you go
make you feel my love
just like a woman
baby let me follow you down
i want you
i'll remember you
and most especially
don't think, twice it's alright

this time
those were good songs, sure
but i didn't connect with them, really
it was a completely different set on the way in
blind willie mctell
love sick
quinn the eskimo
one too many mornings
mama you been on my mind
outlaw blues
and most especially
bob dylan's 115th dream
and
one more cup of coffee for the road

the ride home was different songs
not dark yet
love minus zero/no limit
this wheel's on fire
all alone the watchtower
changing of the guard
but when i finally settled into
tryin to get to heaven before they close the door
i had to buy new cds