why this? why now? i'm totally freaked out!

i dreamed i was travelling with
it kept changing
sometimes it was my mother, sometimes my aunt
sometimes.maybe, it was someone else
and there was grocery shopping for food
i remember a big discussion about
some food that came in, they almost looked like
giant test tubes, sitting in racks on the shelf
maybe there's more to that, something
that makes it make sense
there was something about cleaning clothes
predominantly by shaking them out
and a cell phone charger played an important role

i mention all these things, not because
they are interesting or important, but because
they set up one the most terrifying dream i've ever had

there was a concert in the hotel
and this person i was with was suddenly a classical musician
but rather than play her own instrument, she was
borrowing this presumably one-of-a-kind creation
it was large, she had to stand up to play it
she was wearing a gown with applique spirals on the bodice
that made her look like she had three breasts
she fell in love with the look and feel of it
and we had a big discussion with the hotel about its acquisition
should she decide she really loved it after playing
i said that someone had probably left the damn thing there
why would a hotel own something like that
i thought they would try to get her in a unreasonable
contractual obligation, i was very worried

then it gets complicated again

i went to see the concert where she was playing
but my mother or aunt or somebody was with me
and we lay down on the floor to watch
and it seemed like it was upside down
but then everything was right-side up again
and the person with me was my son who was a toddler
he wanted to get closer to see the performance
and there was an open seat in front of us
so he climbed down a row
at first i tried to stop him, but he was too quick
and i could still see him, still reach him
so what was the big deal, let him see better
but when people got up
somehow he disappeared and i couldn't find him
i searched everywhere
i walked through the hotel and the adjacent mall
describing him:
he's this tall
he's wearing a t-shirt with a 3 on it
i couldn't believe someone had stolen him
someone must have grabbed him accidentally
or he just got swept up in the crowd
i was frantic
everyone i asked seemed totally apathetic
it was really frightening

then it went right into another dream
where i was a tween and i had a kid sister
and we'd been dumped at this "creative play" day
only it had like a registered trademark name i can't remember
i climbed up this ramp between two buildings
i was hiding because i didn't want to participate
but after a while i came out
i think to keep an eye on sis
and the woman running the program
had hidden something that made this horrible whining noise
inside one of these big collections of junk
and i kept going from one to another
trying to find what was making the noise
trying to shut it off
and my sister kept asking the woman why she was torturing me
and the woman said i deserved it because i'd been rude
hiding and not wanting to play the game
and now i had to suffer
and there was this guy that was her partner
he laughed at me and said something
he was attractive and somehow that made me angrier
and i pushed him and punched him in the chest/shoulder
and i started screaming at him:
my father abandoned me eight years ago and then he comes back
and what does he do, he gets me for a weekend and he dumps me
dumps me here at this bullshit
i don't need this crap
i don't need crap from you
fuck you
as i'm backing away, about to run

i don't know what that meant
the whole thing was upsetting
it was like a range of upsetting
and i have a huge headache