not buying a gun today

i'm sorry, but i'm going to be graphic
but for just a sec, to preface the dream

i don't know if you do this, but when something
changes in bodily functions
i run a check list
and last night, before bed, i was bleeding
it's not happy happy blood time, so
WTF
hysterical miscarriage seems unlikely in the absence of hysterical pregnancy

i couldn't figure it out
so i'm like: work it out girls
but just know, if happy happy blood time is coming every two weeks
gun purchase will be high on tomorrow's to do list

i dreamed i was crawling along a cement barrier on the side of the highway
it wasn't comfortable
it wasn't fast
until i saw a place where there was a grassy slope
then i just got off the freeway and started to walk
it was really beautiful
there were these flowering bushes
like an azalea trail
i followed them
at some point i found myself inside
i was having pain in my abdomen so i went to the restroom
it seemed distended, and upon inspection
i seemed to be pregnant, sort of
but it wasn't inside my body
it had formed in a balloon extending outward
which was hyper-sensitive to touch
and i was like: OMG i must have been abducted by aliens
because there's no other explanation for this shit

but then i can't remember what happens next