this is a dream not a movie pitch

there were parts
where it seemed like the main character was me
like an alternate universe version of me
i was in my twenties
i had different problems, issues
but the upshot was that i couldn't
find a place that felt like home

i lived with my father, well, sort of
a mad men version of my father
in a studio apartment that was almost completely
filled with his desk and easel
and i was continually doing things to service his needs

i lived with my step father, well, sort of
a less internally inconsistent version
one who didn't take classes at the esoteric philosophy center
one who wasn't also a rabid NRA member
who woke up at night with nightmares from the nam
who i was alway sure in the back of my head
would half wake be confused about where he was and kill us all
not that guy
the guy who watched television
the guy who was supposed to be from los angeles, but sounded
like he was from arkansas, ag major from chico state, part of him
and the apartment was small, but it had good bones
and i was so bored that i just kept moving the furniture around
moving the ficus from beside the tv to between the windows
watching the patterns of light and shadow in the room change

then i'm not sure where i was
there was a movie on the tv
and the early bits i'm not sure i knew were on the tv
but later i stopped paying attention
but then people kept asking me:
did you see that? did you see the scene with x,y,z?

the early part of the movie there was a girl
extremely similar to the one i was in the dream
except that she would live in other people's homes
she'd break in to their apartments while they were out of town
or go from one to another to match work schedules
but people started to realize she was doing it
they would leave her threatening notes, first
then they would get fancy locks and alarm systems
she didn't steal anything, well, maybe from the refrigerator
but she was violating their space, egregiously
i don't know if it was clear in the movie why
she was homeless
but was there more to that story?
in the film she seemed to be kind of a grifter
but not like a "the gifters" grifter, more like
a "housesitter" grifter

and there is a scene where she takes this woman
this woman who is older and more sophisticated
she takes her "back to her place"
and there's a chain on the door and people start screaming
how she better leave and they are calling the police
and she and the woman kiss

and i stopped watching it
i don't know
there was something very douglas sirk about it
i figured it would end badly for the anti-heroine
and i just had other things to do

but then the person who was my brother in the dream
who i guess i was living with now
said: wow, did you see the love scene did you see the ending
and i hadn't, so i found those scenes and i watched them

the love scene isn't that one outside the locked house
the older woman apparently misunderstood the significance
didn't realize girl was homeless and thought, i'm not sure what
she went away and didn't see the main character anymore
some amount of time passes in which they are both
a la sirk miserable but suffering nobly
and they see each other again at a party
and when i say older, i should maybe qualify, not old
but maybe thirteen years older than the girl, which is not anymore
than my father was than his third wife, so not biggie, right
and the scene was just mesmerizing
i'm not sure i could write dialog to do it justice
it was almost more about the color and the framing
but something about how
whatever it was that had been keeping them apart
she didn't care couldn't care because it was only with her
that she had any real chance for her soul to know peace
but like with frank langella eyes
high melodrama but done so well that you let it take you there

and in the end the older woman, it turns out, has been
living with the widower of her dead sister
because this is the 50s and what else was she supposed to do
he begs her not to go he loves her he needs her
he already lost her sister and she's all he has left
and he looks at her in a way that makes it clear that she sleeps with him
that it started with this need to comfort each other after her sister's
tragic death years ago and they've been using each other ever since
and she looks at him and says:
you had to know
that our arrangement couldn't last forever
and she turns and walks away
he reaches out a hand but it touches nothing

and then the camera pans away
and focuses on this old wooden bench
which is in the lower right of the shot, kind of a down shot
the bench has writing carved into it, it says:

REYNARD PARISH
SURFACED PLAYGROUND

which might be the name of the movie, surfaced playground

and i was thinking surfaced was like cement but
that's actually what they call that rubber stuff
that they use for kid's play areas now
so they can't hurt themselves when they fall

and then i'm walking into a mall or something
starting a new job
in the crowd i pass this guy
he is good looking and he has these beautiful dreds
and i notice all that, but i'm trying to read his t-shirt
which is gray on gray and i think it might say:
REYNARD PARISH
SURFACED PLAYGROUND
but it doesn't, it says something about a sports dept. at some school
but i looked at him too long
and one of the guys with him walks up and around me
looking at me and chuckling at me
and i'm like: dude, i was reading his shirt, that's all
and he's like: uh huh, sure
and he's in front of me now, but he's going the same way i need to go
so it seems like i'm following him
and i'm going to the bathroom before work
so i'm going into the movie theater
climbing three flights of stairs
and everything is this pattern in red and blue
florescent red and blue and then red and blue foils
in this explosive firework design

and as i'm climbing i think
this cannot possibly be the nearest bathroom