do you ever have dreams like this?

i wrote you something, but i don't want to post it until
i check it to make sure it's ok, until it's finished
i think the angels game might be important
and the story, if it's a story, might get longer, depending
i'm set up to listen on mlb.com
and i'm not sure whether it's important that they get to the WS
or if the game gets rained out or what, game 6 i mean
maybe this all seems outta left field
i can't really explain it better
i don't know everything yet

i've been trying to decide whether to tell you my dream, from last night
i don't want to tell you and have you think it's bad
i don't think it's bad
but it was different
it seemed different
there were common
elements
as well

oh well

i was in college
i don't know why, again
i thought i was done with school dreams
but i was really doing some major stuff
i was doing these constructed pieces which i guess i'll call sculpture, but
they were houses scaled down like a children's play house
and what looked more like sets
there was this one that was a bedroom
and i was halving it
creating completely different environments on each side
with color and texture only
while shape and form remained mirror identical

there were a bunch of other things too, all in-the-works
but i didn't have a way to transport them back to campus

my stepfather was just in a wreck
and he's ok, but he totaled his truck

and i didn't see how i was going to finish them
also i had a gillion, ok, several papers in-the-works
which i thought i could finish, except that i also had
two other subjects which had final projects due
everything i was doing was good, potentially really really good
but i needed more time to finish everything i'd started

i didn't want to try to rush them and turn in crap
just so i wouldn't fail

i started trying to negotiate with professors
turn things in late
get an incomplete for the semester and finish later
things i never once did in real life college
not one of them would work with me at all
and i sat down on the stairs
and i was talking to another student

and i actually said:
i think i might drop out of college
i've already got a degree
what do i think this is really doing for me

because it seemed like the grade thing was
just getting in the way of my doing my work

and that might sound crazy
but that's kinda the place i always wanted to get to in college
where what i was doing was more important to me than the grade
but it never was, really
i still cringe to myself
that i didn't take that one class that i got the "C" (college algebra)
at community college because i still think that 0.05 grade point
that would have pushed me over into summa cum laude
that it matters
not to anyone in the world, just to me
and it pisses me off that that matters at all
it shouldn't matter at all
not then, especially not now
and i didn't even do the math, haha
maybe that one class wouldn't even have done it, probably not

so i think it's good that way
but i worry about the degree to which i seem over-extended
it feels very ten of staves, like i'm overwhelmed
like i need somebody to help me put it all together and make it work
i don't feel comfortable with that
not that aspect of the dream

it's like
wow
now i'm not ariving at the end of the semester to take
a bunch of finals i'm not prepared for
now i need the school to get out of my way

but i still don't seem to have it under control, quite