So I guess I should have said happy Halloween at some point but I wasn't really thinking about Halloween exactly

And I guess I was at some point but then I wasn't

So hopefully you're doing well

And hopefully I haven't done anything upset you

I guess I'm feeling kind of paranoid and it's cold here like really really cold

But I'm afraid to turn on the heater because I'm having this premonition that if I turn on the heater it's going to do that thing where it's got dust in it that catches on fire and it's reminding me about that time my house burned down

well technically it was the neighbor's house that burned down I just had structural damage and really bad electrical smoke but it was still very traumatic and I had to move and I did lose almost everything in my bathroom

So I just have like five blankets on the bed and the kitty wasn't very happy but the insulation is pretty good here so it's not nearly as cold inside as it was outside

Anyway I hope you're having lots of excitement and I love you very much

ok, i have to remember not to mention baseball tomorrow

i don't think i've watched a baseball game in years
that whole time i was a giants fan
i might have seen a couple games
in a sports bar
but
i'm not even sure about that

mostly i just listened on the radio
[on the internet]
or followed on twitter

youtube tv fox sports
was like a really fancy technological advancement for me
4D mapping of the swings
strike zone indicators
all that shit with this is where the ball goes with different pitches
that was so so so much fun

and
i thought initially
oh, this'll be fun because i don't know either team
but
i quickly fell for the nats
but
it was so good
back and forth
so well matched, really
i know houston is sad
they are looking for the "reason" they didn't win
but they didn't fuck anything up
they played well
it just wasn't their year, ya know

i'm never gonna be an astros fan again
but will i stay a nats fan?
i seem to have a certain type of team
a certain set of circumstances
or an ethos
so
i mean
realistically
maybe not

maybe every few years it'll change
or
maybe one of the teams
rendon's new team
strasburg's new team
will catch my heartstrings
or
maybe i'll stay and watch soto develop

i've missed baseball


goodnight sweetheart
i love you very much

schedule is off today

slept late

went downstairs to feed the cat

without phone

to rush myself

*

note to self

didn't work

*

got some stuff

I gotta leave the house for

still gotta shower and etc

reading will be very very late

but

is coming I promise

oh

but important

I don't like the white fluffy goo

it's too sweet

way too sweet

and

actually

I don't really like jelly either

but

I do like cake donuts

😁🍚🥠🎳

goodnight sweetheart

i almost didn't see it
but i did
just in time

fun times

i gotta go to bed now
so so tired
bad headache all day

but

i love you very much sweetheart

I wish I was routing for the Astros

but

I've been routing for the nats

I hope you're doing well

stay away from fires

goodnight sweetheart

I love you very much

i fell asleep in the chair again

i think the ws is gonna go to 7 games

goodnight sweetheart

i love you very much

goodnight sweetheart

I love you very much

goodnight sweetheart

sorry I didn't have much to say today

I slept late

and that sorta threw me off

and

I'm rewatching Ken burns baseball

there are new innings

hope your day was good

I love you very much

goodnight sweetheart
i love you very much

goodnight sweetheart

I love you very much

I fell asleep in the chair again

goodnight sweetheart

if you want to see someone I work with

Paulina is someone I work with

we give each other reviews

of the food

and beverages

I like her because she's her own person

and all genuine like

although

her social media thing is

a little freaky to me

she's about 21-22 somewhere in there

she was home schooled

she didn't and isn't going to college

she's also, yes, really pretty

I might

in my previous life

have had a whole big unrequited love thing with her

but

I seem to have either outgrown that

or

I'm still too much under your spell

all this in case you're interested

I'm never sure

if this kind of thing interests you

she is btw straight and Christian

I love you very much

I'm sorry, I'm not getting anything

I'm pretty tired

I'm going to bed

hopefully I'm open tomorrow

but

in fairness

I was trying to read for me

and that's harder

hope you had a really good day

goodnight sweetheart

I love you very much

goodnight sweetheart

I love you very much

i am a little disappointed that that coral is too big
too strong too
takes over the read
i have some rocks coming
the big sur jade i think is 1"x 1 1/2"
so it might work
then i have what looked like 3 little stones
chrysochlla
they may work
or they may not
then i have a "golden healer" coming
that is a palm sized rock of quartz
not crystal, just rock
with a little citrine or something
just barely yellow
but it's from joshua tree
there's no way it will work in readings
but
i'm hoping it's an energy generator
and i know it'd be better if i found the rocks myself
but
i want them from energy centers
where i have connected
i have a heart shaped rock that comes from big bend
i've had for years
(sadly i didn't find it)
i need a large red jasper
but i really need to find that i think
not order it on line

i'm really figuring this stuff out
somehow

we'll see how it goes

goodnight sweetheart
i love you very much

so
i know that some of these items
are too big
some of them will just go back to doing what they were doing
some of them will be involved
on the board
or used for yes or no
etc
the mechanics of my throwing the bones
are in no way
a code for anything
i'm talking about this freely
because i'm excited about it
don't be looking for trouble

Quetz'l thoughts

so
i've told you that i don't really understand how i got involved with Q'z'l
and that's true
the coin i found
was just some coin bill probably gave me from mexico
and
i didn't know that coin had any relation
or indeed that i had the coin until when i did the research
and when i found it, respectively

when i first started thinking about
what was my totem animal
my first thought
oh it's some kind of dragon
which i then admonished
no
a dragon is not a totem animal
it is a fantasy creature
this is like a native american thing
which is when i came up with bear
because they hibernate
and i had always had this thing with sleeping

like
hard to wake up
like i went to far away and had trouble getting back
that was my thinking

but
i don't think that's what people usually mean by bear

and
today i did some searches
and i can't believe i never tried this before

Quetzalcoatl Shamanism
and
there's stuff
a lot of stuff
i haven't waded through all of it yet
i had dinner with my mom

so
maybe
he picked me a long time ago
and maybe that's tied in with everything
somehow

So

I hope there wasn't anything bad in that

mine says

I've totally changed the farm

now it's totally filled with magic

and other planets are visible in the sky

and there's that same line underneath

like

with

yours

that in yours

was all about the artist perspective

and

it said

it wasn't telling me all that again

that last one

is supposed to be about us

but

I get farm

I don't understand what that means

remember that time

we did extasy on the farm

somethin kind snapped in you head

and it never snapped back

it's been haunting me

like maybe you just like me

for something I wrote once

when I was a person

I don't think I even am anymore

I don't know whether that's true

or crazy

I'd like to think

you know me

and love me

for who I am

but

sometimes I am not sure

and

I'm not sure

how much of you I make up

so

maybe

I shouldn't ask questions

maybe

maybe I can't handle the answers

goodnight sweetheart

I love you very much