So when I woke up at 10:30 I had a really bad headache so I was like okay I will take a time and all and I will go back to bed for an hour and then I will get up and when that alarm went off it said at 4:00 12:30 and then I said it for 1:30 and then I didn't set it anymore and I didn't wake up until 6:00 so I don't really know how I slept that long
And I was going to go to sleep I don't know I had a couple of different plans One of my plans was to just stay up for 24 hours until 6:00 p.m. and then sleep 12 hours and get up at 6:00 a.m. the next day because that 24 and 12 thing seemed like it worked for a while but then I thought well no I'll go to bed and I'll just sleep for 4 hours or so and then I'll get up and drive the car around early in the morning but you know now it's 4:30 so my choices are I can stay up and go drive the car but it's not going to be late until like 7:30 or I could sleep for a few hours and get up and do it but I don't know if I trust myself to get up and do it
But and I'm not really sleepy but I am kind of I don't know tired maybe isn't the right word exactly slightly disoriented I feel like I've been awake for a really long time and I'm not terribly coherent but I really haven't been awake for that long
I'm really not sure what I've been doing for the last 4 hours
So I think what I'm going to do is I'm going to go lay down and listen to book tape
I'm really enjoying the moonstone but I have not gotten very far at all
And normally I would take some melatonin because if I don't take melatonin then when I wake up in a few hours I won't be able to go back to sleep but since what I want is to not be able to go back to sleep because I want to get up but then again I don't know if I'll be able to go to sleep
But I guess if I can't go to sleep then when it's 7:30 I'll just get up and go drive around I don't know
I have several different thoughts
Maybe I will go and have breakfast
I probably need to go to the grocery store because I'm almost completely out of soy milk
And I'm getting low on grapefruit juice
And those are both things that I require for my day-to-day
And I could absolutely have them delivered but if I need to go out and drive I could also while I'm out pick that up
But I can't just drive to pick that up because that isn't far enough driving
I don't know about the breakfast though
I mean I guess early breakfast on a Sunday could work and not be too crowded
Because the people who go to church will be out of church yet and the people don't go to church won't be awake yet maybe
When I went to the was going to go I should say to the museum the other day that might not have worked anyway because I've looked it up now and they have timed entry so I don't know you know so they don't get too many people in there I don't know what they do if you just show up maybe they save a certain number of timed entries for people who just show up
I could go to the zoo
I feel like if I'm trying to get myself over the fear I should probably go somewhere since just driving around in my car doesn't really change anything although I seem to have trouble getting myself to do that too but I feel like at some point I should move beyond just driving around in my car
Anyway I don't know
One thing that's interesting about the moonstone is I'm listening to this narration piece that's by the Steward I think I told you about that maybe not but what I didn't mention was the sky he has maybe read it so maybe you know this but he has Robinson Crusoe as kind of like his Bible and that struck me it's kind of interesting because I mean of course Robinson Crusoe is you know classic literature and I'm sure I've read excerpts out of it but I've not read the whole thing for sure it never really interested me to read the whole thing it's been used for tropes so much for just everything but I was like huh
Because Collins is character who's narrating her well who's writing the story he writes the he writes a story and his daughter looks over his shoulder and is like that's not what you're supposed to do you're just writing about you and he says I wonder if writers ever get distracted by themselves right and I thought that was a very like you know third wall winky winky kind of moment and so I wondered if having Robinson Crusoe was a kind of a humor thing as well that I just wasn't really getting and so I looked it up and it was written quite a bit earlier was written in 1719 whereas the moonstone is written in 1868 I think maybe 1865 1866 somewhere in there but I think it's 1868
But Robinson Crusoe is credited by some as being the first novel maybe the first modern novel I'm uncertain because I thought Don Quixote was credited as being the first novel and possibly something else but maybe what they mean is the first English language novel
And of course the moonstone is credited with being the first mystery and so maybe it's like a wink and a nudge you know a cam doing a new thing here but maybe not maybe there's something else completely that if I read Robinson Crusoe I would get the joke because I'm pretty sure there is a joke there I'm just not sure if it's worth 10 hours of listening to Robinson Crusoe to get the joke
But I looked and there was a free version so I may maybe we'll see
Also I got interested in the Wilkie Collins guy and I looked him up and he seems like he was kind of an interesting auntie establishment cat really really auntie really and ty no
Anti-establishment there we go knew you'd get there in the end
Anyway
Off to maybe sleep for a few hours
I love you very much sweetheart 💋
