hey, guess what

you know how i said
that the texture of my hair had changed
well, as it turns out, that's not all--  it's getting thicker

like
the thinning that bothered me so much
well, i don't know how much it can have changed
in just a few months
but
i don't notice it anymore
seriously

also
i've had this furrow between my brows
my thinky wrinkle--  which never ever bothered me at all
i've had it since i was like 30--  it's almost completely gone

but
i'm back on the gotu kola for a while now
but, i've got the dreams down to failing tests
and i'm crying at every movie or tv show i watch
and i want to punch people at work
but i'm not sorry to be alive
so not too bad


however
i was having this pain in my back
which might have been from lifting
but i was afraid it was my kidneys wanting to rupture or something
so i decided not to take the msm for 24 hours
to let it wash out of my system
just in case
because i'm taking megadoses
and it's supposed to be nontoxic but blah blah didn't trust
and now my right calf is hard and hot

i'm kinda pissed
because i'm a listen to your body kind of person
and i was pretty sure that was what my body told me to do
but i was doing great
and now i'm kinda backslid


and it took me so long to get to that point

also
i'm pretty sure i've lost some weight
not sure
but i could barely eat for a couple months
all my cloths seem loose
stuff that looked good on me looks kinda baggy/sloppy
my face looks more right
so i'm going with lost weight
my scale is broken so i can't weigh myself
but i don't know what i weighed, so that wouldn't help anyway


also
what i seem to want to eat has changed dramatically
i want bananas
fruit smoothies
tomato and mozzarella

so i probably need potassium and calcium and iron

but it turns out
that mozzarella is pretty high protein low fat
and bananas are cheap
so, baller