i do worry about you

so
of course
i worry that you
i don't know, didn't feel supported i guess
by that last post
and that wasn't my intention, not at all
i'm not sure why i worry

anyway
i love you
you're a pain in the ass
but i love you
and
the fact that i let you read that
shouldn't be
i don't know, just shrugged off, ya know

whatever

my detox has gone kinda weird
i really wanted to get up to 20,000mg of msm a day
but
i can't safely leave the house at 15,000mg
so
i've stabilized at about 12,000mg for now
i'm doing some cayenne
i've had some meals
including some heavy meals
like veggie pizza or pasta
but i've been at it a while
and i'm mostly raw
i had stepped up the physical exercise a bit
so i had to up my carbs
so i'm eating mostly fruit
avocado, bananas, grapefruit
and i started this new protocol
coconut oil in orange juice for breakfast
the coconut oil is supposed to stimulate thyroid
and a bunch of other stuff
i'm down to only 2 emergen-c packets a day
and lemon water the rest of the time
and
i added in cayenne a few days ago
only three or four times a day
and only one pill not two
but
i think the cayenne is noticeable

i really recommend cayenne [100,000 heat units]
if you're only going to do one thing

so
i've lost 10 pounds
but i had pretty much gained 10 pounds
so it's kinda a wash
but i look good
and i feel pretty good
and this is a weight i haven't been for a while
and 10 pounds for me is not a big fluctuation

and i'm just going to keep doing this
i know it might be a better detox if i didn't eat
or if i ate completely raw
but i'm not doing that
it's vegetarian
and mostly
i manage to avoid dairy and eggs and bread
but i am not mandating that
and i am specifically adding in fish a few times a week
because of the nutrients

and the last few weeks
i'm really focusing on the organic
rather than just here and there

my next goal is thirty pounds away
and i have to find an exercise for the "bye-bye arm"
i got big ole biceps and deltoids
but then "bye-bye arm"
and i can't tell that the msm is doing anything for that at all
though
face and jawline and hair shedding all seem improved significantly


anyway
i hope everything is good with you
that i didn't freak you out
that you are taking good care of yourself

stardust-y bones baby