I WAS gonna take

TOMORROW off 

BUT 

I'm going to the studio 

at least for a little while 

they did a great job

everything seems 

a little too 

HIGH 

but they're TALLER than me 

something weird 

happened 

in therapy, I forgot to tell you 

we were in LIKE 

OVERTIME 

lightning round

& I SAID something 

AND 

he's like HAha

YOU said-- I want to be POWERFUL

WITHOUT being powerful 

and I STARTED to argue

because I don't think I did say that 

he wasn't 

paraphrasing

BUT 

it didn't have the kind of AHha

of a Freudian SLIP 

BUT 

arguing just makes it STICK probably 

& idk, might be right 

I don't think 

SO, though 

PAIN

in the back left lower quadrant

if my BODY

KIDNEY stone 

CAR RACING 

gospel of moto sports

Ruby Tuesday is closing a bunch of stores

Pizza Hut too

my friend 

sent me

MOVING PICTURES on the phone

a gif?

NO a video 

this is what I'm doing in the studio, not sure it's great, but it's good enough I guess

I'm NOT sure I'm happy with this, but I think this is what it's gonna be

I arranged all the art

for the hallway

I got Donna to hang

she had these paper works

hanging with thumb tacks

which I'm actually into

BUT 

I thought it was BETTER if she did it

& THEN I wanted to move her

BIG painting 

from the back stairwell*

*that was Lucy's idea, I didn't even know it was there-- I never use that staircase

it was fun working with Donna

Lucy has this thing she does

that's like

MEANT to be validating

BUT 

I don't feel it that way

ANYWAY 

it was WORK

BUT ALSO fun

& THEN 

I left the stuff & notes

for them to HANG 

I didn't stay

OR stay for a debrief

I texted riaz 

gave him my number 

I'm all LIKE 

HEY 

I worked really hard on this 

PLEASE don't re-arrange stuff

AND

then I said to myself 

if they change it 

then they can JUST DO IT next time

& I'll do something else 

BUT 

why would they MOVE it 

THIS was the JOB 

NOBODY else WANTED 

AND 

I WALKED 

to the bus stop

I had an awareness 

I'm a third of the way

*two thirds of the way, also

it was MUCH shorter of a walk

it did look a little like rain

so I didn't stop to take

PICTURES

I got a little less cautious 

at the crosswalks 

walked 

a little 

FASTER

PRETTY GOOD day

I need to go to bed

I LOVE you VERY much sweetheart 

💋💌👾🫚

I'm inadvertently 

TRYING something with my brother 

the other day 

he sent me an Insta message 

as follows 

there was that time when I was five years old...

I STARED into the VOID...

& I ASKED 

WHAT is the MEANING of LIFE

AND

the ANSWER came BACK

in my OWN voice

the meaning of life is to 

REMEMBER 

that time when you were a kid 

& LOOKED into the VOID --2024

AND 

I'm like f*CK the f*CK I'm saying to THAT man

& I closed the tab

BUT 

then I remembered 

I had liked a bunch of his stuff 

it was his birthday 

BUT 

I decided it was a violation of his privacy

POTENTIALLY 

it out him as a birthday boy

to post on Facebook 

if the birthday doesn't come up

& it was weird sh*t

I liked

BECAUSE it's pretty much generally weird 

BUT ALSO 

not gonna lie

hoped you'd see them

BUT 

I figured 

I just say what I was gonna say

HAPPY BIRTHDAY 

BUT 

then TODAY 

in the spirit of 

NOT being afraid of him

I JUST sort of

on the fly

DECIDED 

what was called for was

SOME sort of 

psycho - linguistic non sequitur

SO

I USED a beloved fridge magnet quote

edo samurai poet

masahide

I don't remember where I BOUGHT it 

it's like SIMULTANEOUSLY encapsulating

LIKE 

stand on one foot and recite

DO NOT that which is hateful to yourself to others

ZEN arrow POEM

that actor guy from the 70s

who was happy 

when his house burned down

I can't remember what he said to me 

I don't KNOW 

if that was a good idea 

I gotta go to bed

goodnight sweetheart 💋 

I LOVE you VERY much 

👾🫚

there doesn't seem to be any 

TK this week

so far

idk what

FUN means

I MEAN 

I DO 

BUT I don't 

if I answered something 

that was

up in the air

waiting for an answer

I didn't know what it was

& I am unaware 

that I answered it

just in case

because I have

a vague feeling 

something happened 

if NOT 

then, nevermind that disclaimer 

I just thought of a bad way you could take 

OR maybe 

NOT sure 

DON'T do THAT 

💋❤️💌⚡🫶🎈

it's 

BOARDWALK 

hmmmmmm

WHAT does THAT mean 

I'm senile

OR

I WANTED to 

I SAW a Monopoly game image

within the last few days

SO

probably doesn't mean

anything deep

BUT 

that was FUN

I don't hate it

I LOVE you VERY much sweetheart 💋

WAIT 

NOW I have 

give my regards to broadway 

playing in my HEAD

I have no IDEA 

WHERE to even START 

with THAT one 

I can't see any way

that I'm being overly 

DRAMATIC 

I'm supposed to write a PLAY

MONOPOLY 

I USUALLY played 

the THIMBLE

& I felt like

I ALWAYS wanted the

BROADWAY/PARK PLACE

& that ST JAMES PLACE orange three

SOMETIMES I favored 

YELLOW

SOMETIMES GREEN

but I had very definite feelings

BASED in play

I need to go to bed

goodnight sweetheart 

I LOVE you VERY much 

👾🫚💋

I'm NOT sure 

that I can BELIEVE that 

I am the OPPOSITE of CRAZY 

not for the least reason 

that I have used

the Google machine

LIKE 

seventeen times

LOOKING up

what is the opposite of crazy

various different ways

well

idk

I don't feel like 

I got much out of therapy 

TODAY 

I maybe threw him for a little bit of a loop

he has the same option as me

about the digging out the root

only his counts as professional 

mine doesn't 

doesn't help

just stirs stuff up

&

I'm LIKE 

OK

but can you give me

like some grounding exercise 

or SOMETHING 

so I don't feel like I'm going CRAZY 

& he didn't HAVE one

which SURPRISED me 

actually 

BUT 

he SAID 

& it didn't SEEM like 

he was just blowing smoke up my ASS

YOU are LIKE 

the OPPOSITE of CRAZY 

SO

there's THAT

&

it really did mean something 

to have him say that to me

ALSO

I forgot 

I was playing around with 

this one, but THINKING 

it would be 

BETTER 

if I had a vertical one

I think I like it BETTER 

this direction 

🤠

goodnight sweetheart 

I LOVE you VERY much 

🤠👾🫚🫶

ALSO

I have had

the 

LEAVE it to BEAVER 

theme song in my HEAD 

multiple times 

& I'm STUMPED 

I watched the show 

it wasn't LIKE a FAVORITE 

I remember one episode*

*although it's possible I've conflated elements 

BEAVER finds a wallet

his father EXPLAINS 

why we turn the wallet in to the police 

or whatever it was we do do

& then LATER 

the father gives him a radio 

which was a thank you

FROM the wallet guy

or whatever 

EXCEPT it wasn't 

WARD explained it to (?)JUNE(?) later

SOMETHING about 

the VIEW of the WORLD 

BUT 

then there's that OLD JOKE 

WARD you were a little 

HARD

on the BEAVER tonight

f*CK I cannot have just HEARD it OUT someplace 

I've been trying to THINK 

HOW am I gonna 

EXPLAIN 

what happened 

my meltdown 

to my therapist 

& I think it's important to have a FOCUS 

I want ONE session resolution*

*which is, realistically, unrealistic 

I want to give out

as little EXTRANEOUS information 

NOT even because I'm unwilling to share info

JUST too much ground

MONTAGE?

BUT 

THEN 

I THINK 

am I looking for ROOT cause

OR am I just

looking to 

REBOOT 

I REALLY wish

I could come to THAT 

it LOOKS really FUN 

not finished hanging my walls

of my things

BUT 

this is the start of it