OK

full disclosure 

I have not

been

watching the news

SO

probably all this stuff 

is less important 

in SOME way 

I don't think the world revolves around me

BUT 

I AM RESPONSIBLE 

for KEEPING me

FUNCTIONAL 

I have

had some thoughts about 

HOW sane

OR not 

I MIGHT have been 

at various points 

THEN

I remembered 

I NEVER ever ever represented myself as SANE 

and I feel like it fills in unevenly

I've fallen off my

SUPPLEMENTS 

it's HARD to

KEEP stuff GOING 

I keep trying to FIND a WAY to make it a

WALK

it's TOO far

& it's not a nice walk 

SO

I keep going back and forth 

WILL 

I do it

DO 

I even want to 

it SEEMS to be 

SYNCHRONICITY 

I MEAN 

why not try it

it's month to month

& IF I GO

I thought about 

how there was a WAY

in which 

this work club thing is obviously 

the right thing to do

it's 

that

OH yeah WAIT 

ALSO

BRAIN feels compelled to create HYPOTHESIS 

AUD = INFJ 

ADHD = ESTP

WHAT do we call THIS 

the consortium 

WE PROTEST

this is an alternative temple

which is NOT an advancement of knowledge 

BEYOND 

the LEFT brain RIGHT brain

PARADIGM that WE prefer

SO

when I woke up late

KINDA 

bleary-eyed 

we hadn't decided, really 

on the furniture arrangement 

I don't want to 

START

& then just have everything all 

TORN UP

chaotic 

AND

I had ALSO watched 

this great

CLUTTER influencer 

I MEAN 

she was breaking it down 

BUT 

DIFFERENT 

from how I broke it down 

which was helpful 

PLUS

she's LIKE still on the journey 

SO

ANYWAY 

I figured I had quite a BIT to process there

let's just take it easy

I watched a series of videos last night 

I saw this guy

BREAK DOWN the STUFF thing

you ATTACH to 

THINGS

as

a trauma response 

which tracks

& is not

a COMPLETE 

SURPRISE 

it INVOKES

LOSS

when you THROW 

THINGS away

which ALSO tracks

because remember that WEIRD response 

I had to the greek doll

I STILL feel kinda 

BAD about

SO

shouldn't have been a surprise 

BUT 

KINDA was, somehow

ANTHROPOMORPHISM 

ANIMISM

MAGIC

ANYWAY 

I don't know if I'm making sense 

SLEEP 😴 

I LOVE you VERY much sweetheart 💋 

👾🫚🍀🔥🫶🫶🫶☄️ goodnight ❤️

ALSO 

I was thinking:  ya KNOW what I need 

LIKE 

a coffee shop where I could write 

& a PLACE to go 

OUT 

for RANDOM 

EVENT generation 

THEN

TODAY 

there's some notice

about a

WORK CLUB 

it's ACROSS the street 

from the old ALABAMA theater

where I WORKED so all those overlapping realities 

OH

AND

it's 0.3 miles around the corner from 

WEST ALABAMA ice house

I just drove by there, noticed it was still there

I always SAY I'm gonna GO there

& I NEVER have 

& I lived around the corner 

for a year

I've been doing the facial massage 

& I'm KINDA 

ROLLING 

the sebums out of my pores

to cut down on the

PICKING 

BUT 

I KINDA 

overdid it or something 

& my skin tag 

HURT

to where it couldn't be touched 

& I was LIKE 

F*CK

I did myself a mischief 

BUT 

then in a couple days 

it didn't HURT anymore and I looked at it

& it SEEMED SMALLER 

& LOOKED 

BLACK

& I'm LIKE 

I THINK 

at least partially 

it's coming 

OFF

& it DID 

COMPLETELY 

& the FUNNY thing is 

I had been thinking 

because I had read about different oils

"healing" skin tags

& I thought 

I WONDER if castor oil is one of those 

therapy was cancelled again 

I had a headache 

SO

I lay back down 

& fell back

ASLEEP 

I LOVE you VERY much sweetheart 💋 

I HOPE you are having 

SO MUCH 

FUN

🫶🫶🫶

☁️☕☁️

I LOVE you VERY much sweetheart 💋

I gotta sleep now 

I'm thinking about you 

❤️❤️❤️

I'm not leaving the house ENOUGH 

EXERCISE 

don't sit down 

MOVE around 

THAT

helps with the

HIP thing

I'm STILL trying to 

FIGURE out 

WHAT

I can SIT on

that will STRETCH my hips

I don't want to SIT on the FLOOR 

I did laundry too

& ACTUALLY 

I'm doing this

THING

I THINK of something 

I WRITE it DOWN 

on this pad

THEN

I'm LIKE 

I got STUFF I want to DO

I been working on 

THAT today TOO 

& trying to 

FORMULATE the

FURNITURE 

arrangement 

I've ALWAYS had 

TROUBLE 

with THAT I suspect 

it's got SOMETHING to do with SOMETHING 

it's SO much STUFF 

& it's perfectly 

NORMAL 

to not be 

GOOD 

at furniture arrangement 

BUT 

it just SEEMS like 

I AUGHT

to be

GOOD at it

I SUSPECT I'm FAVORING 

AESTHETIC 

& ALSO

NOT 

editing 

because the STUFF is stuffing

FIXED

these are the original 

light bulbs

they're going to come back 

PATCH

AND

I guess I passed out

without saying 

goodnight 

SORRY 

about 

that

I LOVE you VERY much sweetheart 💋 

the maintenance guys

are trying to fix 

my upstairs 

TOILET 

that is leaking water through the 

CEILING 

of my downstairs 

TOILET 

whenever it's 

FLUSHED 

the downstairs 

TOILET 

you can't really put 

TOILET PAPER 

into because 

ROOTS 

under the building 

I THINK 

they took the toilet completely off

SNAKED IT 

put it all back together 

BUT 

it only remained 

CLEAR

for a while 

THAT 

was all before pandemic 

BUT 

I'm worried if they can't fix the upstairs 

the downstairs might

QUICKLY 

become a problem 

SO

FINGERS CROSSED 

I KNOW 

THAT

was

TMI, but that's what's happening 

HERE

I hope you are having a beautiful day sweetheart 🫶 🫶 🫶 

it's SOMEHOW 

ABOUT 

the balance

BUT 

it's an

ACTIVE balance 

not a STATIC 

BALANCE

AND

there's this THING that HAPPENS 

when you

BECOME 

the MANAGER 

you SUDDENLY have the ABILITY to do

I MEAN -- whatever, ya KNOW 

& there's SOME ways 

OR WAY

that

I NEVER really 

MADE myself the MANAGER 

MAYBE 

THAT doesn't make SENSE 

I can't explain it 

BETTER 

it's the KIND of thing 

that tenuous 

KINDA

BLINDSPOT adjacent 

& MAYBE 

I'm extrapolating too far

BUT 

I have this feeling that I'm making good progress 

I FEEL 

BETTER in 

merino wool

it SOUNDS 

EXTRA 

BUT 

I am discovering that

it's NOTICEABLE 

& I feel like there is always some

group

I'm somehow involved in

I'm reading about

women's adventures 

dyeing woolx 

that turned out not to be a color that WORKED 

I'm not spending a LOT of time on that 

BUT it CONNECTED 

I'm not going to START 

dyeing my clothes 

but it connected 

& MAYBE I'm a member 

of the group

because 

I really INTO wool 

I'm HAPPY about WOOL

that's WEIRD huh

there's a LOT that's difficult to MAKE sensible 

BUT 

there's this playful thing

going on in the

BACKGROUND 

LIKE 

we're dancing 

we're darting

AROUND 

a 

corner 

OK

THIS

SOUNDS crazy 

BUT 

it's LIKE 

I've been in a

BUBBLE 

where I was an ACTION FIGURE 

to KINDA get a

SENSE

& then it's been

TRYING 

to ADAPT 

MAYHAW

is FUN 

to

SAY

when I was at *$ my

alter ego

was

Ebola

I can't remember whether it was

keelee or susanne 

who came up

with it

& I don't know how DEEP it was, ya know, it was FUNNY 

BUT 

MEEHAW

is LIKE 

EVIL backwoods MEEMAW

THIS 

is SILLY 

& I don't know if you enjoy this kind of thing or not

my cat's nickname 

has morphed

AGAIN 

he's 

STILL 

intermittently 

VIOLENT

SO

I started calling him

PROJECT MAYHEM 

BUT 

then I decided 

I didn't WANT to glorify the VIOLENCE 

SO

I took OFF the PROJECT 

& THOUGHT 

about mayhem 

& HEM and HAW

SO

NOW

it's 

MAYHAW

PAIRED

with himself LEAST favorite nickname 

ROLF LAP 

MAYHAW ROLF-LAP

OR

just MAYHAW 

if I'm going easy on him

I just got up

BUT 

I think it's evening there

I hope you are having a beautiful day sweetheart 🫶 🫶 🫶 

I LOVE you VERY much sweetheart 💋 

I THINK we are DANCING 🫶

👾🫚🍀🔥☄️

❤️🌊🍥

MOSTLY 

animated with your

CARTOON of you

I'm imagining you

having 

FUN

❤️

I've had a lot of coffee

BUT 

I'm gonna try to sleep now

I hope you are 

having

SO MUCH 

FUN

I LOVE you VERY much sweetheart 💋

🫶🫶🫶👾🫚🍀🔥🫶🫶🫶 

goodnight ☄️

❤️

my mom

GOT to me

a little 

I'm trying to figure out 

HOW to 

STRETCH 

or maybe POP

my HIPS 

& lower back are tight

I've been 

OBSESSIVELY 

trying to figure out 

HOW to 

rearrange my furniture 

to clear AWAY whatever it is 

that sees a thing 

NOT as it is 

EMBRACE 

function 

WHAT am I trying to DO

REDUCE clutter

reduce VISUAL CLUTTER 

BUT 

I'm ALSO 

figuring OUT 

MEDITATION 

AREA

worked on this today 

goodnight sweetheart 💋 

I LOVE you VERY much 🫶🫶🫶

👾🫚🍀🔥❤️☄️

I'm STILL working with 

ESTP INFJ stuff 

I have some kind of jumbled SENSE of 

STARTED estp BUT got SIDETRACKED 

OR

S'POSED to end up ESTP

OR

MULTIPLE 

I don't know 

I just RECOGNIZE it

& HOW 

does that even make ANY sense 

berlin 

believe it or not 

my FIRST thought was 

DID you SEE

berlin alexanderplatz

OR did you just

WANT to 

THEN

I thought about

CABARET 

THEN

I thought about

WATCHING 

the wall

FALL 

tried to remember 

der mauerspringer

& finally ended up

the name

of this old movie

SET

in cold war

BERLIN 

while

KRAFTWERK 

& nina hagen 

SWIRL

I think the movie is

ONE, TWO, THREE

through the atmosphere 

I was going in to work 

LATER

not at FIVE

& I STILL at that point

had a TV 

I was getting ready for work 

& I had something on TV 

SOME news type THING 

a PLANE had

HIT 

the world trade center 

TOWER

& THEN

ANOTHER 

& I'm LIKE 

WELL 

THAT one 

WASN'T 

an ACCIDENT 

i added more

I started this

im not SURE how it's going 

I had this picture of an EAR

in my HEAD 

& maybe 

a HAMMER 

I don't KNOW 

I LOVE you VERY much sweetheart 💋

I'm not very talkative today 

BUT 

stuff is a percolating 

🫶🫶🫶👾🫚🍀🔥🫶🫶🫶

☄️🌊💓

the first thing 

I thought of

the

little prince

the snake eating an elephant 

THEN

I had

you can keep your hat on STUCK in my HEAD 

I have a 

STRANGE relationship with PARIS

it's LIKE 

a MULTI verse 

I have watched videos

apartment hunting 

in paris 

BECAUSE, I guess 

I am KINDA 

STRANGE 

I am fascinated by 

a sort of imaginary paris 

& I've never 

BEEN

I've never been certain 

I could HANDLE 

PARIS 

I've watched videos 

of people 

walking around french pharmacies

I sleep now

I LOVE you VERY much sweetheart 💋

🫶🫶🫶👾🫚🍀🔥🫶🫶🫶

goodnight ☄️

,❤️❤️❤️🌊

JUST DO it

is working pretty well

there's a bunch of stuff 

that I haven't been doing 

& it's always LIKE 

HOW 

am I gonna 

MAKE me

DO it

NOW 

I'm LIKE 

HEY

whatcha doin right now 

LET'S

DO

THAT

BUT 

RANDOM street murals

REALLY good 

COFFEE 

maybe not even

in the morning 

copenhagen 

I have always thought 

would be

BEAUTIFUL 

SCANDINAVIA 

has always been 

INTERESTING 

to me

I got exposed to trolls

& CLOGS

pretty 

young

in high school

I had a collection of clogs

from the SWEDISH shop

in the village

that was ALL I WORE for shoes

I probably had kind of sneakers

AND

I had this Japanese happi coat

it was polyester 

I'm SURE 

it had the GREAT WAVE on the back

& SOME portion of the 

REST of the jacket

was RED,

black

BUT 

a LOT of it 

was that

BLUE

and white

MAN

I was thinking about that jacket

the other day

I got it at the renaissance festival 

they had a japanese village

SHOGUN had entered

the zeitgeist 

&

EVEN though my mom

didn't really 

LET ME

watch

TV

I

had managed to 

CONVINCE 

HER

it was an important enough 

CULTURAL 

EVENT

she let me watch it on the

LIKE 

twelve inch black & white television set

& SOME of it

I watched in COLOR at my gran Gran's house

I can't remember 

EXACTLY 

WHAT

I thought of it

I THINK I had

SOME 

problems with stuff that happened 

I remember the guy

who threw away

the bird

he had to

and then they had to

KILL him

& he was proud to have done it

& NOT bitter that they were

KILLING him for DOING 

the THING that

HAD 

to be done

that they were grateful for him to have done

it upset me

BUT 

the guy BELIEVED in rules

I think there was some other stuff 

I don't think it was the STORY 

that grabbed me

so much as

the place

OR culture OR art OR whatever 

SO

I MEAN

I guess I was one of the people

who wanted the

SHOGUN 

village

OR whatever it was called

BUT 

that GREAT WAVE

was important to me

it's VERY exciting

🫶🫶🫶

there are

SO

MANY

possible ways

for MAGIC 

to

MANIFEST

I MEAN

SURFING 🌊 with the UNIVERSE 

& the situation in the world right now 

is WEIRD enough 

people will

WANT

to TELL you 

HOW worried they ARE

FOR or ABOUT US

OR

HOW it's affecting 

THEM

OR

IDEAS they HAVE 

OR

THINGS they've

SEEN

OR

MAYBE 

the people 

WON'T want to TALK about it 

MAYBE 

they will just

WATCH and LISTEN 

RESONATING -- ONENESS

BUT 

even without the people 

SO

MUCH

❤️

I need a little sleep 

probably therapy tomorrow 

I LOVE you VERY much sweetheart 💋

🫶🫶🫶👾🫚🍀🔥🫶🫶🫶 goodnight ☄️

is THAT 

SOME 

old 

person 

SAYING 

don't ever say that again 

THAT is 

WHAT I am

TALKING 

ABOUT 

YES

BRILLIANT!

I LOVE you VERY MUCH 💓

is THAT a TREND

women's sports are popular 

OR

is it

JUST tennis & basketball 

WHICH, I MEAN 

is NOT nothing 

I really FEEL like 

THIS approach 

EMBRACE

my inner

ESTP

there is

SOMETHING 

THERE

I'm fixin to listen to TK

vet's working hypothesis on kitty

is

ARTHRITIS 

& she gave him

monoclonal antibodies 

THREAT level

ORANGE 

the FIRST rule

of project

MAYHEM 

is

don't ASK

QUESTIONS

about project mayhem

LEVEL UP

I shoulda

BEEN 

SLEEP 

thank you

for

I'm not 

CONFIDENT 

that I'm TRANSLATING this correctly

POSSIBLY 

I will think of a 

BETTER 

translation at some 

LATER time 

thank you for SEEING me 

I LOVE you VERY much sweetheart 💋 

🫶🫶🫶👾🫚🍀🔥🫶🫶🫶

goodnight ☄️

I thought about 

GRAVITY DAY

which was this phenomenon 

if you are

WORKING with COFFEE 

if you

SPILL something 

it f*CKs the

VIBE

& THEN there is this 

PHYSICAL FORCE of the UNIVERSE

that LIKE 

ATTRACTS 

more SPILLAGE 

THAT

is JUST gonna 

HAPPEN

BUT 

if you acknowledge it 

JUST ROLL 

with the 

GRAVITY 

LAUGH

you loosen up 

& it gets

BETTER 

I thought I had

FIGURED out 

HOW 

to

articulate 

BUT 

I have LOST the THREAD

THIS 

is HELPFUL 

OH

WAIT 

JUST DO IT

I THINK 

THAT 

was 

PART of the THREAD

BUT 

I KINDA think

my MASK

there's a LOT I haven't figured out yet 

THIS 

FEELS

jumbled

there are multiple points

I DID this THING 

I had a THOUGHT about something 

& I JUST got UP

& WENT

& DID it 

WELL 

I'm spontaneously 

NOT 

going to hamilton 

BECAUSE 

my cat is acting like he has something wrong with his leg, and even though there doesn't 

SEEM

to actually 

BE

anything wrong with his leg

I'm not going to enjoy myself sitting in a movie 

WORRYING 

VET

tomorrow 

I hope you are having a beautiful day sweetheart 🫶 🫶 🫶 I love you very much 🫶🫶🫶

I'm gonna go see

HAMILTON 

on the 

BIG 

screen

TOMORROW 

I hope you are having a beautiful evening 

I LOVE you VERY much sweetheart 💋 

🫶🫶🫶👾🫚🍀🔥🫶🫶🫶

goodnight ☄️

OK

the FIGHT CLUB rabbit 🕳️ was GREAT 

I don't think I would have 

ENJOYED that movie

nearly that well

if I hadn't 

RESEARCHED it

FIRST 

WHICH 

might demonstrate 

BETTER 

than anything else just

HOW MUCH 

I am 

NOT 

an 

ESTP

BUT 

I can 
SEE

HOW 

maybe my whole life has been

TRAINING for 

ESTP

in one WAY or another 

& I watched a video of sixteen personalities as

THERAPISTS

& the ESTP 

was LIKE 

DO jujitsu 

EAT protein 

& I GET it 

& I came up with 

FOUR directives

SPONTANEOUS events

MANIPULATE a situation in your favor

go OUTSIDE your COMFORT zone

RANDOM event generation

FOCUS on sensualist

MOVE MORE*

THIS is SUPER important 

BUT 

DIFFICULT 

I don't have 

CLEAR direction 

EXTROVERTED 

SENSING

I NEED to find an exercise 

that I find

ENJOY-able

I need to 

STORE

JOY

in my muscles

I LOVE you VERY much sweetheart 💋 

I'm gonna lie down 

& I might 

FALL 

ASLEEP 

SO

🫶🫶🫶👾🫚🍀🔥🫶🫶🫶

goodnight sweetheart ☄️

I had this IDEA

that my IDEAL personality 

the one I 

KINDA

imagine I am

OR

the one I AM when I'm in sync with the universe 

is ESTP

which is LIKE my

opposite type 

BUT

has the SAME functions

in the opposite order

IDK

I had the IDEA

BUT 

when I found a video about it 

it was all about 

FIGHT CLUB 

which I haven't seen 

my mother

is weird

this

DERM

filling in

DOING 

another biopsy 

SHE

injected my mom herself 

& I'm LIKE 

she's on warfarin 

& doctor baldree put an 

EXTRA STITCH

because she was STILL bleeding 

AFTER the one

I felt like 

THAT was a worthwhile 

PRE-FRAME

& she stitched the f*CK out of her

I was thinking about 

KINDERGARTEN 

LIKE 

the FIRST day

or something 

the FIRST grade SINGING this LAND is 

YOUR land

this land is MY land

& HOW MUCH I loved THAT SONG 

& going home

telling them

I GOTTA 

LEARN that song

I NEED to KNOW it

"for next year"

BUT 

I THINK 

I MIGHT not have ever HEARD 

the BEATLES 

YET 

MAYBE 

I had heard them on the RADIO or TV 

BUT 

I FOR SURE 

had not had access to

the TAPES

I THINK 

there was SOMETHING ABOUT 

that SONG

that just

CONNECTED

HARD 

I thought about you all day

it's hard not to be 

romantic about 

baseball 

I LOVE you VERY very MUCH

I shoulda 

BEEN SLEEP

goodnight sweetheart 💋 ☄️

🫶🫶🫶👾🫚🍀🔥🫶🫶🫶

❤️

we went to the studio 

I had an idea

I tried it

it didn't work out 

I didn't photograph it 

my mom did a new thing

hers worked out

we're back to

the DERM

tomorrow 

her tests came back

NOT skin cancer

GOOD 

NOT vasculitis 

which is what her primary though it was

FUNGUS 

BUT 

they need another sample 

to get a culture 

to decide 

HOW to 

TREAT it

SO

it SEEMS 

highly likely to ME 

the NOT BATHING 

caught up with her

off & on

all day

I've had this clear image

of a child

taking a plate from the cupboard 

taking it outside 

carefully 

eating side down

tucking it into

the dirt

I LOVE you VERY much sweetheart 💋 

I'm gonna try to sleep 

🫶🫶🫶👾🫚🍀🔥🫶🫶🫶

goodnight ☄️

I don't know 

how much I care about 

HOW I LOOK 

I KNOW 

I have spent 

ENERGY 

thinking about my

HAIR 

& SKIN 

& wrinkles

& bags

BUT 

MAYBE I have AVOIDED 

focusing attention 

on the parts of myself that I cover up

I have NOTICED but I don't 

FOCUS THERE 

& THAT

is part of the issue 

I guess, but I also just don't know 

WHAT I WANT from myself 

I THINK 

I mainly WANT 

FUNCTION 

BUT 

when I look in the mirror NOW I don't really think 

THAT'S ME

& SOME of that

is FAT

& probably some of it is AGE

BUT 

I THINK 

SOME of it is SOMETHING else 

& I'm not sure how I WANT to FEEL when I look

at myself 

I have all these

INTERNALIZED judgements

& my inner critic is not a sweetie pie

I saw polz grew a mustache 

& it made me feel like 

I owe you an

EXPLANATION 

there was a character in a TV show 

who looked a lot like you

he had a mustache 

& it looked

good on

HIM

yours probably looked good on you too

BUT 

in combination of

my dad had a mustache 

my step dad had a mustache 

robert had a mustache 

I just don't FEEL good AROUND them

MAYBE 

BUT 

SOMEHOW 

on you

it was disruptive 

I have this

IMAGE 

of you in my HEAD or something 

& the MUSTACHE 

gave you this completely different 

VIBE

I guess it made you LOOK 

DANGEROUS 

and porn star-y

which made me

UNCOMFORTABLE 

it KINDA 

disrupted something I found beautiful 

& introduced

the spectre

of

UNTRUSTWORTHY 

that sounds 

CRAZY 

maybe 

I just tried to 

EXPLAIN 

my issues with 

my BODY 

& I guess he generally 

understood 

BUT 

I still don't think 

I understand 

I LOVE you VERY much sweetheart 💋 

I've got therapy tomorrow 

SO I'm gonna sleep 

I am thinking 

about you

🫶🫶🫶

👾🫚🍀🔥

goodnight ☄️

☕☔☁️

❤️

there's this weird way

my BODY is 

ABSTRACT 

there's ANOTHER way

that it's CONCRETE 

I can't 

EXPLAIN it 

YET

BUT 

I'm not sure 

WHAT

I LOOK 

LIKE 

it's WEIRD 

therapy was cancelled today

he had a doctor's appointment 

I'm not completely sure 

& it was

KINDA

last minute 

I had been late getting into the shower 

OR

I'm not sure exactly 

but I saw it

at like

ELEVEN fifteen

& I ONLY 

had my bra on

I was thinking about 

MARCHING yesterday and the 

HEAT

I love the sun

more as a 

METAPHOR 

I KNOW 

I come from the locked outside all day generation 

BUT 

I would get mild heat stroke 

if I was out in the

SUN 

too 

long 

I've always had a problem with 

HEAT

but I'm also LIKE -- it is TOO BRIGHT out here

I LOVE you VERY much sweetheart 💋 

🫶🫶🫶👾🫚🍀🔥🫶🫶🫶

goodnight ☄️

I HOPE 

with the gerrymandering 

they have diluted 

the vote

ENOUGH 

&

that people will be 

MAD

enough 

&

that they've 

LOST

the hispanic vote that they are counting on 

I talked to a woman who handed me a flyer

about the november protest in DC

& I'm LIKE 

HOW 

does that work

STAYING in the STREET 

until the administration 

"is gone"

& she couldn't tell me

she said she's been

PROTESTING

since nineteen seventy one

& she shares my 

HOPE 

about the gerrymandering 

EVEN though 

I didn't SEE

MUCH 

about this PROTEST 

they filed it all properly, or whatever 

WESTHEIMER 

WAS

blocked off

& we had

POLICE 

escort 

CARS

HORSES

ATVs

I didn't make it all the way

I was overheated

& maybe a little 

DEHYDRATED 

so I stopped a couple blocks short

at a whataburger 

I wasn't 

drinking water

because 

there were no bathrooms 

& THEN 

in whataburger 

SOME old guy

was trying to engage 

he thinks "both sides" are LYING 

BUT 

he's perfectly 

HAPPY 

to have the national guard come

& DEAL WITH 

"the crime"

MAYBE someday

I will be LIKE 

JUST 

F*CK OFF

BUT 

that doesn't 

FEEL SAFE 

even though he was using a wheelie walker

*sigh*

I wasn't home long

before it started

RAINING ☔ ⛈️ 

I just keep 

thinking

how exciting it is

that you get to

GO

be out in the world

I'm VERY excited for you 

& your ADVENTURES

I LOVE you VERY much sweetheart 💋 

I hope you are having a beautiful day 🦋 

🫶🫶🫶☔☕🫶🫶🫶

WELL 

it WAS a MARCH

& it WAS

ENOUGH people 

that it was

NOTICABLE 

I HOPE it gets on the NEWS

it was not

as many people as the 

NO KINGS

BUT 

it WAS on westheimer 

SO not LIKE 

walking through 

EMPTY 

downtown 

it's 

HOT

this is not gonna be

fifty thousand people 

BUT 

there are more than fifty

gotta sleep 

gonna try to go to

PROTEST 

tomorrow 

I LOVE you VERY much sweetheart 💋 

🫶🫶🫶👾🫚🍀🔥☕🫶🫶🫶

goodnight ☄️

❤️

this bra

it's seriously 

I can't feel it 

I don't think 

I took into

ACCOUNT 

HOW 

distracting clothing is

I've been 

working on all this stuff 

that's hard to SAY anything about 

& I keep thinking 

& APPARENTLY 

NOT writing 

ANYTHING 

AND

PART of it

is I don't want to write things like 

AM I FATTER 

than I think I am 

OR

AM I THINNER

than I think I am

& WHY

do we care so much about it

& inner

sensation 

RELATED to the TAPPING stuff 

it's not super 

coherent 

I JUST 

REALIZED 

I go PLACES in my MIND 

& ART farm

I'm walking around in there

it's LIKE 

HAPPY spot

I shoulda BEEN SLEEP 

goodnight sweetheart 💋 

I LOVE you VERY much 🫶🫶🫶

👾🫚🍀🔥☄️

OK

I just saw a video 

about louisiana coffee

& it made me

REMEMBER 

a time I had FUN with my mom

we were going to work an art show in Louisiana

& my aunt joan & gran gran

EACH

INDIVIDUALLY 

told me

NOT 

to DRINK the coffee 

in louisiana 

because it was possible to stand a spoon up in it

would put hair on my chest

at FIRST I'm all LIKE 

I don't drink coffee 

I was in tenth grade 

BUT 

AFTER 

ALL the TALK 

I told my mom

the FIRST thing

we gotta DO

is STOP 

for

COFFEE ☕ ☕ ☕ 

& it was COMMUNITY coffee

& I LOVED it 

COULD I be WRONG 

could she JUST 

mean FOREIGN 

YES

I could be 

ALTHOUGH 

if her primary doctor 

who she LOVES 

recommended 

THIS 

PARTICULAR 

DERM 

group

as ALL being EXCELLENT 

so not to worry about it 

FIRST AVAILABLE 

which she 

DID 

I don't 

EVEN

GET it 

we went to the studio 

we went in through 

art supply 

SO

she can say 

HI

to everybody 

& vikki asked if we'd done anything fun

& I was LIKE 

well, yesterday 

DERM

BIOPSY 

& then my mom started filling in

& I got distracted by 

SOME NEW

watercolor

PAINTS

AND

when I tuned back in

AND

EVERYONE 

has a FOREIGN NAME

WAIT, what 

I THINK she's czechoslovakian 

WAIT, what makes you think 

the DERM 

was named baldry or baudry or something 

BALDREE

I went & looked at the card

OK

her doctor TOLD her to go to THIS place 

& she had a hard time 

FIGURING out 

which one 

was her SAFE* choice

*WHITE 

HOW 

do you FIGURE 

I was being 

AGGRESSIVE 

WELL, 

*I RE-INACT*

pretty much JUST like that

I THINK 

you'd

HAVE 

to call that aggressive 

well, I don't remember THAT 

do you THINK 

you MIGHT 

have

MULTIPLE personalities 

MAYBE 

we're pulling out of the JOYCE'S parking lot 

the NEXT day

this GUY walks in front of us

HE'S interesting

KINDA ambiguous 

AND

SHIRTLESS 

muscled

TATTOO 

shirt

WHY

my mother asks 

do people 

GET

tattoos 

I'm LIKE 

I MEAN 

THAT varies by person

it HURTS 

it's EXPENSIVE 

& it's difficult to REMOVE 

I'm LIKE 

well people have KIDS 

THAT HURTS 

it's EXPENSIVE 

and KIDS are 

ALSO 

difficult to REMOVE 

I'm LIKE 

& the hurt is relative

people I've known with tattoos 

a GOOD percentage 

ENJOYED 

the tattoo experience 

& a statistically 

RELEVANT 

number

we're KINDA addicted to it

SOME 

to the point where

it wasn't EVEN 

THAT 

important 

WHAT 

they just WANTED ANOTHER tattoo 

BUT 

it's an age thing

almost everyone below a certain age

has tattoos 

she said 

WELL, no, it maybe SEEMS that way to you 

BUT 

LOTS of people DON'T have tattoos 

BUT 

it USED to be

ONLY a 

CERTAIN type 

of person 

got tattoos

when I was at starbucks they had rules

you couldn't have visible tattoos 

no facial piercings 

except two ear

BECAUSE it SCARED the YUPPIES

but even then that was spottily enforced 

the number of people who 

WANTED to be

a CERTAIN kind of person

INCREASED

& RELAXED into a BROADER group

AND THEN

there was a reality TV show, at least one

LA INK

SO

THEN 

it was a TREND

it's pretty mainstreamed

WHY

were you SO aggressive 

with the TECH yesterday 

my FIRST thought 

when she said the exorcist thing

was YEAH

my second thought was 

WTF!?

the tech*

let's just call her that 

she was SUPER nice

from the JUMP

there was NO REASON to think

she deserved ANY KIND 

of ABUSE 

I had ASKED if it was gonna HURT 

the answer was YES

she had told my mom to take my hand

& SQUEEZE it if it HURTS 

I don't know what my face looked 

when I GAVE my mom

my HAND

BUT 

I have an AVERSION to holding her hand

& she HAS noticed

she TOOK my hand

BUT 

she DIDN'T squeeze it 

she did the WEIRD THING 

instead

SO

WAS it

EXCRUCIATINGLY

PAINFUL

!?

the TECH & I

just KINDA looked at each other 

WHERE did

THAT 

come from 

I slept late again 

I did the tapping stuff 

I fell back

ASLEEP 

I dreamed a bunch of stuff that I don't remember 

BUT 

I dreamed about 

YOU 

MOST

of THAT was 

TOO hazy

to recount 

BUT 

there was a LOT of it

talking, riding around in cars, silent hanging

& there was this one part

SPOONING 

❤️

I LOVE you VERY much sweetheart 💋 

I'm going to try to sleep 

I'm thinking about you 

🫶🫶🫶

👾🫚🍀🔥☄️☄️☄️

at the DERM when they were NUMBING her

the tech or medical assistant or nurse

I didn't catch it

or she didn't 

SAY

she was injecting

ACROSS 

the area

SO

inject, pull out, inject a different spot, repeat 

which HURTS I guess 

BUT 

my mom

SCREWED UP her face

& she SAID 

in this 

"the exorcist" 

voice

if I 

CATCH YOU

I'm gonna 

STICK 

MY NEEDLE

in YOU 

I slept late 

& then

I spent more time 

in bed

doing that tapping stuff 

I FEEL 

BETTER 

I had dreams 

I don't remember 

I'm FOCUSING on BEING in my BODY 

I'm having a LOT of thoughts 

about STUFF including 

my mom

BUT 

I don't really want to talk about her

I WANT to HUG you 

that picture of the kid

is adorable 

I'm sorry 

I'm STILL not talking 

I'm working on it 

I have a bunch 

I want to 

TALK 

about 

I don't SEEM to be saying much 

I gotta sleep 

YOU 

are

AWESOME 

goodnight sweetheart 💋

I LOVE you VERY much 🫶🫶🫶

👾🫚🍀🔥☄️☄️☄️

it's getting harder to talk to people 

or at least that's how it SEEMED to me at the STUDIO 

my mom

is WEIRD 

she's not senile 

she remembers the names of

ALL her medication 

I can't 

BUT 

the things she

SAYS

they almost have a RANDOM feel

AND

she doesn't SEEM 

CONNECTED

to WHAT

she says

I think the reason she hates t*ump

is that everyone she's 

AROUND hates him

I think that

I hate everything 

I don't hate anything MORE was designed to 

SHUT me UP

BUT 

when she's got no idea what she needs to say

it's like she's picking it out of a hat

I might be WRONG 

I JUST saw

that there was something 

I usually get it in email 

BUT 

I JUST saw

I NEVER 

thought about it 

like that

I never 

THOUGHT 

those things were

CONNECTED

except 

that

they were 

BOTH 

things YOU LIKE 

I LOVE the ANALYSIS 

I was with my mom today 

& I've been KINDA 

ENGROSSED 

in thought 

ABOUT 

THAT

& I've been HEARING in my HEAD 

ALL day

I WANT to see YOU 

theme for new open studio is COSMO/S

like the flowers 

OR

LIKE 

SPACE

new today ∆

the already in progress ones below

I'm gonna try to sleep 

I LOVE you VERY much sweetheart 💋

🫶🫶🫶👾🫚🍀🔥🫶🫶🫶

goodnight ☄️☄️☄️

WHEN we 

were IN the

DERM

I ASKED if 

it was going to HURT 

she SAID 

the

NUMBING 

HURTS 

the 

WORST 

WHEN I was a KID 

the kid's MOVIES 

ran END to

END

THEY 

didn't CLEAR

the theater 

you bought your 

TICKET 

you went in

AND

throughout my ENTIRE childhood 

I NEVER 

SAW

the BEGINNING 

of ANY movie my MOTHER took me to 

until AFTER I'd 

WATCHED

the ENTIRE 

MOVIE 

THAT is an EXAMPLE*

*not the full list

TODAY 

was KINDA weird 

I took my mom to the dermatologist 

she had these spots

we went to her

PRIMARY 

she

wanted a dermatologist to biopsy 

when I talked to her yesterday 

she wanted to leave at

ELEVEN for a 1pm

appointment 

I'm LIKE 

it's TEN minutes AWAY 

we AGREED on NOON 

at SOME point*

*I didn't hear the text alert

she TEXTED me --

-- pretend I'm picking you up at 11:45 --

I can't describe what happened 

in my HEAD 

TODAY 

I had a pretty good day 

I'm not sure what is going on with me

in terms of 

SELF

my NEW favorite 

COLOR 

to wear is

LIKE -- ROSE

I have this dress

WAIT, back UP

I got this french roast brown hoodie 

& I LOVED it 

I WANTED to get a DRESS 

BUT 

I wasn't sure 

& the sale one was MESA ROSE and I wasn't sure 

THEN

they had a mystery box

& I was pretty sure 

I'd get that dress

& I DID get it

I wore it for ALL the driving days

on the ROAD 

I wasn't sure about it 

BUT 

I REALLY LIKE it 

YOU 

LOOK GREAT 

it's LIKE 

connecting in some

DIMENSIONAL

WAY

I'm still VERY short attention span-y

I don't think I SOUND very coherent 

& I ALMOST didn't write 

BUT 

I FEEL less CRAZY 

& I WANTED 

to BE with 

you

in my MIND 

I keep 

TOUCHING 

your

CHEST

it SEEMS like 

it's screaming my name 

goodnight sweetheart 💋🫶👾🫚🍀🔥☄️☄️☄️

I LOVE you 💓

I'm gonna sleep 

THINKING about you 

goodnight sweetheart 💋 

I LOVE you VERY much 🫶🫶🫶

👾🫚🍀🔥☄️☄️☄️

TOUCH screen

AND

THIRTY EIGHT bread modes?!

does it COME with a 

HELPER 🤖 to operate it 

FOR him?

I think MORE 

of swimming and hiking

&  ?!rattlesnakes!?

spin art & cottage cheese 

not so MUCH

WHO

BUSSED in the RATTLESNAKES

WHY

did the NATS lose all those players 

GENIUS 

BUT 

I haven't been paying attention to sports

LIKE 

at ALL, I guess 

I had been to the ZOO 

go in through the 

BIG gate

past

the

BALLOON inside a balloon stand

& there's a sort of 

SUNKEN

WALKWAY

a long thin cement pond

statues of animals

STAIRS

on all sides

leading down from

GROUND level

COVERED

& SPACE 

filled in with live oaks

LIKE 

a tunnel

KINDA leading 

BACK

to an EXHIBIT that I loved

SO

I KNEW 

my new friend 

was a 

SEAL

although this seal

LOOKED

a little 

DIFFERENT 

it wasn't 

MOVING quickly 

SLIPPING around a platform

POSING this WAY 

& THAT

for FISH

my new friend SEEMED to be POSING in a position that didn't SEEM like it could be 

SUSTAINABLE 

SO

I became 

MORE and MORE 

CERTAIN 

it was probably an inflatable seal

BUT 

it was STILL a good distance from me 

EVEN 

when I was 

EVEN

with it

I just KEPT TRYING to get CLOSER 

&

JUST

as I was 

LEANING out

OVER the SIDE of the PIER

my aunt joan, gran gran, and e.e. caught up to me 

& PULLED me BACK

I DID SEE

SOME 

kind of

SIGN

next to my new friend 

BUT I couldn't 

READ it

BUT 

they had either 

DECIDED on what to do

OR

the IDEA of having to 

RESCUE me 

made them

DECIDE 

to just get on with it

we ate in the big glass box

I continued to 

PICK

at the starfish 

& everything was pretty

UNEVENTFUL 

with the lunch, or early dinner, or whatever it was

I ALWAYS 

WONDERED

what my friend was ADVERTISING 

& then years later 

driving along

the PCH

I PULLED OVER 

got out of the car

WALKED AROUND 

a HUGE MASS of SEALS laying on the beach 

& they didn't MOVE

ANY MORE

than napping cats

& I was LIKE 

AM I ALLOWED to 

just walk all around the napping SEALS 

WELL 

WHO'S 

gonna 

STOP me

I LOVE you VERY much sweetheart 💋

I'm gonna try to sleep 🫶🫶🫶

👾🫚🍀🔥

goodnight sweetheart ☄️