I guess you could say generally
I'm spending a fuck-ton on therapy
I'm not sure if it's helping or not
whatever it is you want from me
I'm not sure if I can
I'm not sure if I will
I'm not sure if I want to
Because
IDK what it is
I don't know why you pushed me for like two years
to get me to come see you
so that you could show me
it doesn't matter
and
you don't care whether I'm there or not
BUT
I'm in the existential crisis
the one I would have
planned to
kill myself over
I'm NOT
KILLING MYSELF
AND
I'm still trying to have a relationship with you
BUT
if I'm doing something "wrong"
then
just fuck you
