updates

i know i've gained weight
at first i thought i hadn't
because it seemed to just be my waist
and i've built up some ab muscles too
so i figured it just added bulk
but, i think i can see it in my face a little
so i have

and
probably gonna gain a little more
over the next couple weeks
because
in the absence of anti-depressants
i am full on eating stollen and etc on the xmas pastry front

it's not just, anything
it's this hollydaze season in general
i just hate it

after the first of the year
i think i'm gonna do a juice fast
or master cleanse
or something

i stopped believing this year
for big chunks of time
and even when i did
i didn't 100%
so
i backslid a little here and there

not in the meat eating
or the cigarette smoking
i'm still clean there
where i really stopped focusing
was the high density nutrition
it takes work
and
money
and
caring about it

and
i just kinda didn't, so much

so
i wasn't awful
but
i wasn't perfect


on the plus side
the new skin care
did i tell you i got the advanced firming cream too
i don't think i did

i think
i look younger
like, maybe not thirty
but almost
plus
just recently
i've started using the l'occitane stuff
underneath
the firming cream
and
so so happy with the results

thinking about cutting my hair again
it's been, what
over a year, anyway

you don't have any preference for my hair length
i can't imagine that you do
anyway
i won't do that until i've got more time